Single Mum not intersted in dating single dads any

[Killerqueen777]

As the title goes single Mum to one and just not interested in dating a man with kids. I dont want the responsibility of another at the moment. I dont even want more of my own as i had a bad birth. Most of the men i know are single parents have children with different women who they dont even see. And people try and act like you're a hypocrite for not wanting to indulge chaos, impulsivity and neglience. And yes there are the exceptions of good dads who were in long term relationships that failed but they're not common round here

Pardon?

Urgh my exh had dc...way too much drama.

Bonus of throwing him out was no dealing with his exes or his feral dc
.

Then don’t date single dads, nobody cares who you don’t date.

Just stick to it then even though it'll obviously lessen your chances of finding someone, or at least make it take a bit longer.

When I was a single mum there was no way I would've dated a bloke with kids as that was a dealbreaker for me.

Nothing hypocritical about it, just personal preference.

....is there a question there?

Im a single mother but this is rich coming from someone in your position.
Im sorry but single childless men rarely want to touch us with a barge pole, thats the harsh truth.
thats why maybe its best to take time for you and your child and not worry about dating.

Why is it 'rich'?

We all have our preferences and childless is hers when it comes to dating men.

So,you look for a man who doesnt have kids and doesnt ever want any. Simple as that, no?

A single father is in the same position as a single mother. I personally wouldnt date a single father either and thats why i choose to be single permenantly. I wouldnt look for a single childless man as most arent serious plus it isnt wise to bring men around your children that could potentially up and leave when the going gets tough. Thats just my opinion though.

It's up to you, though I'd worry that you will limit yourself to the controlling cocklodger type - ie men that are looking for someone where they know where they'll be (ie home with the kid, not out with friends) and who always has food in and is organised with the laundry, because y' know, you're a mum.
The pool of single men who are happy to date a woman with children who also doesn't want any of their own is going to be pretty small.

Well it's not hypocritical. You can choose what you do and don't want in a relationship and stick to your own boundaries. But you also have to accept that there are plenty of men out there who will probably be swerving you for exactly the same reason.

They might not want to be the sap who pays to feed, clothe and house someone else's kid for the next 15 years if their own father is completely absent and pays nothing to support them. And who could blame them? They might be waiting for the right girl to have their own children with and that right girl looks like someone who comes without the baggage and the responsibility of children already.

I have adult sons and I've always told them to avoid dating girls who already have kids. It's more aggro than it's worth. There are plenty of lovely potential girlfriends out there who are child-free, so why take the risk and add extra layers of complication? Of course you might always meet someone completely organically, like at work or something and fall for them and they might have kids, which was not part of your plan. But it is what it is and if you like them enough you'll go with it. But plenty of child-free people would swerve someone with kids and I don't blame them.

A man who doesn't ever want any is pretty unlikely to want a woman who comes with a ready-made child.

I’m the same op
not that I can date anymore but if I could, I don’t want to be a step-mother .

I wouldn't have dated a single dad when my DC were young.
I'd consider it now they are older.

Fyi before the discourse comes in oh thats all you should be grateful for because i know it will. He doesnt require a subsitute as his dad is actively involved and supports. Two id never expect a single man with no kids to want to date me thats how preferences work. And three if the sample group wasnt men who made kids with women they barely know bounced and then did it again somewhere else the opinion would be different. However you cant advertise yourself as a good partner and good dad when you keep maming famililies to abandon. That is all

Well that's any man (or woman) you might bring around your children.

Relationships sometimes end and sometimes they don't.

But it doesn't mean the OP shouldn't date if she wants to.

100% this ^^ , there might well be men about who would date a woman with children- and then go on and have his own children with that woman, but if the OP doesn’t want any more children- then that’s very limiting for her unfortunately

I would possibly date a single dad casually, but I would never blend families. Ever.

I don't understand, so you don't want single men without children, or single men who have had children with someone else and then split up? So you just don't want to date full stop? I'm struggling to see what's left (assuming you're straight!)

I mean the irony is laughable so you’ve got a good sense of humour that I’m sure a lot of single blokes will appreciate.

Good luck!

I’ve just come out of a relationship with a single guy without kids and me being a single mum with two kids. What happens most eh time is after the dust settles they want more and more of your time. In the beginning I thought amazing he has no kids, now I think I’d only date a man who does. He didn’t get that sometimes my youngest wants to sleep in my bed and I will put her first. He didn’t understand that my child likes to eat out of her favourite bowl. He would come over with treats for me ans him but never my kids two years in, he was honest that seeing me when I had my kids with me, was worthless unless they basically went to bed and didn’t disturb ‘ us time’.

i think if you aren’t looking for anything serious great but the reality of a serious relationship with someone who doesn’t have kids, is that they won’t understand like someone who does. Just my two senses I also don’t want to deal with anyone else’s kids 😂

Im a single mum but dont want to date a single dad, the majority ive come across seem to have a huge chip on their shoulder and dislike single mums anyway i dont feel bad as most single mums
Prefer to date single dads so plenty of other women

I think having kids from a different person probably makes you "less desirable" in dating for both sexes. However, if you're really attractive or charismatic or earn a lot of money or something else more desirable, you're probably gonna be able to date someone single and childless.

But also, you don't have to date anyone, and can rule someone out for any reason! Up to you

Exactly.

How old are you? I only date men with kids that are older than mine and independent. That works well for me but I’m in my 40s and my children aren’t very young.