Single Mum not intersted in dating single dads any

[Killerqueen777]

As the title goes single Mum to one and just not interested in dating a man with kids. I dont want the responsibility of another at the moment. I dont even want more of my own as i had a bad birth. Most of the men i know are single parents have children with different women who they dont even see. And people try and act like you're a hypocrite for not wanting to indulge chaos, impulsivity and neglience. And yes there are the exceptions of good dads who were in long term relationships that failed but they're not common round here

There are lots of sweeping statements in this thread. I wonder if you are all talking about young children. Mine of young adults, either at university or in first jobs. Yes they live with me but I am not an active parent like I was when they were at primary school. I’m also too old to have more children and am interested in men 50 plus so hopefully they aren’t either
Does this change things or does everyone think someone without children won’t want to get involved with me?

From experience I found all the single dads in my pool of matches were looking for care taker for themselves and children. So unintentionally they eventually did not make it to my final pool. A shame but that was my reality. Had plenty of men in my age group who were ready to settle down and not cock lodgers. My current partner and me have been together for 4 yrs and he is divorced with a grown up son. It makes sense to make that choice yet stay open incase there is a good decent caring man who cares for his kids and takes responsibility seriously. But a rare find.

I am too. I remember feeling like this at one stage in my life. (Related back to my own childhood and father I think). ANYWAY.... I do would now date someone with children ideally no more than 2 DC. I have 1 DC and wouldn't date a man with 3 plus kids.

I think people are entitled to desire whatever they want why not? OP isn't wrong she can pick and choose what she wants. I remember an ex saying the same to me too. We all want different things and OP has every right!

Plenty of men date younger women or have the upper hand in the dating world and nobody bats an eye lid. So I cant be upset with a woman not wanting to date a man with kids. Like you say.... she may not get that but she is perfectly entitled to want that.

Depends how old you are too. I have noticed men around 35+ with no DC online. It works both ways.... I think most women will have children at that age.

Single mum and never had time for dating as I am solo parent so child always with me. But it hasnt bothered me amd imagine I will always be single now

@Polipocket60 They do exist. My husband was early 40s when we met. He had no bio children; I had two.

Quite simple. She doesn't want to date a man with kids.

That genuinely wasn’t my experience as a single parent.

@Funpartyideas yeah I know. I think a woman is more likely to accept a man with children on the whole. Anyway its a good thread and I am team OP.

Is that what you want? Don't you want male companion at least?

I do agree with what you are saying here.
My DS is a young single dad and I advised him that he might do better to date a woman with a child.

For reasons as you mention above some days are really difficult and you can't just do what you want - most of the time your child has to take priority. A single mum will understand this (hopefully) and the relationship might have more chance of success.

X

Timothy

No but prob as last one was v controlling and so I find life easier on my own. I am.happy single

Unless they love the child's mum, and love the children like their own? It does happen 😊

You will be narrowing your 'net' but if that's your criteria then that's what it is.

Honestly you can date or not date any one for what ever reason you want .
having said that lots of men won't date women with kids for thr same train so your narrowing your pool quite a bit

I have an only child, i'd be very cautious dating any man with more than 1 child because if it did become long term I'd be concerned that my DD would always feel like the 'extra' to the siblings, I certainly wouldn't want to date anyone who expected me to parent their child, and my DD doesn't need another parent, she has two already.
As it is I'm dating a guy who is older and has a young adult child, but my new partner hasn't met my DD yet anyway.

Where are you meeting these men lol . I did not mind dating dads but a rule I had was they had to be good dads . Ended up marrying one ( dating 6 years ) and amazingly we do the hole blended very well .

Date who you want. I'm sure there are plenty of single childfree men who would be more than happy to date you for sex.

I'm in the same camp as you OP. I have no desire to take the responsibility of blending families, coordinating calendars, dealing with exes, negotiating parenting styles...

I'm cynical because I pick crap men but the juice really isn't worth the squeeze. I shall remain peacefully single and continue to pour into myself and my children until I feel different about it. Don't feel bad for a preference!

Vulgar

Vulgar but true unfortunately and as a woman how do you tell what any man’s intentions are?

I made the decision from the get-go that I didn't want to date a man with children when I had two relatively young children of my own already.
I didn't want to move homes as my children both had their own bedrooms and were settled; I wasn't willing to give up the financial independence I'd worked so hard to gain.
I have never personally felt that blending families with children in both is really in best interests so it wasn't something I was prepared to consider.
These were my non-negotiables.

@BlueberryBabs I went on a date with a single childfree man when I had two relatively young children of my own - so you think he was just looking for sex then?

If i had to hazard a guess as to whether he wanted sex or he wanted a long term relationship then I'd say he wanted sex.

Of course, men are liars and will say whatever they think you want to hear in order to get sex. Many men just looking for sex will target single mothers considering them useful for that purpose.