Partners staying over

[StarClouds]

If you have your children full time and started dating again at what point did you feel comfortable having them over when your kids are in bed? Im thinking around 6 months?

A lot of these blended ‘families’ are fucked up because selfish adults put their sex life before the security and wellbeing of their young children.

I’ve asked family and friends and they don’t want to offer babysitting services, it may blow your mind that some people dont have people that will watch their kids. 🙄

Ive said multiple times he would leave before the morning

Why does he need to stay over though if he is going to leave before the morning? Why not just come round in the evening when the kids are in bed and leave in the…evening? 😵‍💫

well them its the same logic that your blowing everyone's mind that you have to have your "boyfriend " stay over
but sure that's your goal ain't it

I met my step-children after almost six months. I met my partner’s ex wife first, then the children shortly afterwards. Had dinner with them once a week and days out here and there for a few months, then stayed over after about ten months. Works well for us, and I have a good relationship with both children, who are now adults.

Thats what I mean, maybe poorly worded but he would leave in the night not morning

Thank you, im not sure why everyone on this thread is being so hysterical, 6 months is a fine amount of time.

But this poster MET the children after six months. That’s not what you’re proposing. You’re proposing bringing someone they have NOT met into their home, and just leaving it to fate they won’t wake up / bump into a stranger they’re not expecting and being terrified on the way to the loo.

Weird that people want me to introduce him sooner… 🤔

Who? I haven’t seen a single post saying that. Although you somehow misread my post (which said the opposite).

Weird that you haven’t specified the ages of your children… 🤔

Weird that you care so much about how old people’s children are…🤔

Because it’s entirely relevant to your situation that you’ve posted about.

If you don’t agree then you’re a shit parent.

I don’t agree it is, because you will say it’s wrong no matter the age so tell me how it’s relevant than just throwing around insults!

She does it with every post apart from the few that agree with her. Basically twists people’s words and creates her own interpretation.

It’s honestly a waste of time even engaging with this post. She’s not interested in actual opinions or advice, only those saying it’s fine to bring a “partner” of 6 months home when her kids are asleep and don’t know - just so she “won’t be alone and miserable forever” because apparently the only way to be happy in life is by having a man in one’s bed. At least we have been enlightened now.

Lone parent here!! No one was meeting my kids for at least 6mth and longer for staying over. If he's got any sense, he'll respect that as protecting your kids is the priority. You don't know anyone in 6mth. Sure, let him pop over when they're asleep but staying over? Nope.

Ive clarified I meant coming over when they are at bed and leaving in the night. Not sure how many times I can repeat that

No what’s weird is that you want to bring over some guy to your house that your kids have never met, & sneak him out in the morning.
This stupid rubbish of “ they won’t wake up “ , grow up & start thinking & talking like an adult .
What most ADULT people do in your situation is invite their bf over for a coffee to say hi when the kids are there .
Well obviously only if you feel you guys are going to give it a go .
You introduce him slowly into their lives , but only if you’re sure this is someone you genuinely can see a future with .

I’ve a feeling from your posts OP that you’re quite young .

Plenty of people have partners over when their kids are in bed that they haven’t met! You are in a different world maybe they won’t admit it to you because of how judgemental you are?

I’m not at all judgemental OP , I’m separated 11 years .
Infact there were red flags galore when I met him 🤷🏻‍♀️, chose to ignore them all though & still married him !.

I genuinely never brought anyone around even when kids gone to bed .
I always said I was never bringing a man in the door unless I was fairly confident he was someone who i could see a future with .
I have had relationships, 1 I thought this could really be something, but it is wasn’t to be .
He was never at my home .

Kids go to school.

This isn't what everyone does at all. Plenty of my single friends have dates round when the kids are asleep and have no intention of ever marrying that person. It is a casual relationship.

No it isnt at all. If they arent going to meet the guy and don't wake up at night, it doesnt matter if they are 3 or 13.