Partners staying over

[StarClouds]

If you have your children full time and started dating again at what point did you feel comfortable having them over when your kids are in bed? Im thinking around 6 months?

FFS OP
No one is saying you can't have romantic relationships.

They're saying your children's safety should come first.

I waited two years with my now husband. I am very happy I did.

For me, friendships and relationships exist in a different realm. In all honesty, it's hard for me to imagine being single/a single parent because I am not. However, I know I'd be unhappy right now without my friendships despite being in a happy marriage. I can also envisage that I wouldn't be happy single for long phases of my life, either, despite having firm friendships.

So to hear that a night in with a friend is an alternative to a healthy sex life with a partner just seems bizarre.the type of thing I see people say on asexual forums about why they are different to allosexuals.

I’ve never had them sleep over and sneak out in the morning but if your kids are asleep why can’t you have someone round for dinner and a movie or whatever?!

Crack on! I don’t believe it would traumatising for your children to wake up and you say oh my friend Bob came by for a catch up or whatever. And he would always be under your supervision in the initial stages if he left and slept at his own place.

They will be safe as im not inviting a stranger over

what you are describing is furtive, dependent, disrespectful, indecent
no man of integrity would agree to this, smoochin with you downstairs
while YOUR children, who he has never met and feels no moral
responsibility toward, sleep above
hostile responses ??? imagine !!!

How many times have you got together with this “not a stranger” in person @StarClouds ?

you won’t answer

😂

what did you mean to write instead of

**I don’t know him”?

he is a stranger to your children - what is the matter with you ?

DO it’s called predictive text, no one is going to invite a stranger into their home kids or no kids

Ok so what did you intend to write?

That relationships are perfectly normal? That most people are perfectly trustworthy, male or female? 🤷‍♀️.

Just be careful of who you bring into your life.

We really will never know

so I am going to guess the sum total of your interaction to date has been virtual messaging

I am right aren’t I?

It's the adult who needs to know the new person, not the kids.

Imagine this:

"Oh kids, you've been speaking to this man I don't know that you met in the woods for a couple of years now, have you? Okay well of course he can stay in our home, he isn't a stranger to you lot!".

‘and a gentleman is a patient wolf’ - ancient Russian proverb

Indeed

the Op wants to have him over in order to”to get to know him! Ie she doesn’t really know him very well (I suspect because never met him in person!!)

I bet they have a few of those

I don’t understand this, it makes no sense - my post was responsive,
not a stand alone comment

Ah the asexual comments 😅

I wouldn't chose to have enforced quiet sex on the sofa with a man I'm newly dating because my children are upstairs.

There are so many better options. All of which mean I wouldn't have to consider my children at all because there's no risk they'd become aware of it

bring back the happy laughter emoji xx

I assume they have met.

The early days of relationships are about constantly getting to know each other better and seeing how well you are aligned for a mutually happy shared future.

I think that’s an optimistic assumption

The Op has ignored even giving a hint as to how many or even if she has met in RL

That's what happens a lot of the time when you're actually with your co-parent because you don't want the kids to hear. It isnt like you just let loose because it's their dad so it doesn't matter what they see or hear.