Could you be satisfied in a loving relationship without orgasm through intercourse?

[BreezyPeachGoose]

Could you be content & satisfied in a relationship which meets most of your needs, except, to achieve a PIV orgasm?

Other means have had some success but are in no way consistent.

Both mid / late 50s, we've been together for around 8 months.

We are in love, the sex is great, the connection is amazing, but the mutual orgasm is elusive...

You're not the only one, as I posted earlier.
OK, I've had a few, but not many, and not for many years.

Some of the women on this thread are very rude and ignorant.

One of the best sexual partners I had, we had a lot of fun sex over a 10 year period, but I don't think he ever made me orgasm through any method, but I look back on my time with him as some of the best sexual encounters, we had so much fun and were such good friends.

My husband never fails to give me an orgasm, or I never fail to achieve it with him (sometimes I do the work) unless I've had too much alcohol, and sex with him is awesome too.

I had a male sexual partner who really struggled to achieve orgasm but still loved sex and being naked with a woman and still loved giving me pleasure, he was quite a bit older than me and taught me a thing or two as well.

There's so much variety of pleasure, fun and connection to be had with a sexual partner it doesn't need to be all about an orgasm and achieving that in one particular way. Other women shouldn't be making others feel they are weird or not normal for not enjoying or experiencing sex in the same way. We're all different we all enjoy different things differently, no-one is weird or abnormal because they don't orgasm every time, anytime of with or without PIV. Just enjoy yourselves however you like (safely and legally!).

Utter nonsense.

Don't put words into my mouth.

You are unusual amongst women. Unusual isn't the same as impossible.

Well said!
I agree with many of the posts and disagree with others but the bottom line is people are different.
Their lived experiences are valid.
I had no reason to believe vaginal orgasms were real as didn’t myself experience them till meet current partner until I was 64 and he 59.
Now I do every time we have sex.
Have had many partners and had clitoral orgasms by myself since age 14, so do know what a clitoral orgasm is 😂
He is also skilled with hands and oral (never enjoyed the latter until I met him) so clitoral also , but I now prefer the vaginal as satisfies for longer and get ‘aftershocks’.
No interest at all in ‘toys’ but glad that other people enjoy them.

Haha it's objectively true 😂

Mmm that sounds like you just don't come from vaginal penetration though? I have experienced both and have no issues with climaxing (if the guy knows what he's doing) - with or without him. But toys/rubber-covered penises (or whatever material!) feel nowhere near as good as skin-on-skin contact. Obviously. Difference between a finger and a toy. Just not the same sensation. Not even sure why that's in question for some. Would be concerned if there were no difference!

Yeah, I mean vibrating ones.. those are fine! But they're rubbish on their own.

Objectively true that penis flesh has some magical properties?

Flesh - ie skin to skin contact of course is better /human contact/intimacy/tenderness.

Contact, intimacy, and tenderness can be just as present without a penis in vagina, but that poster is claiming only penis is able to give women orgasms through penetration. I think that's patently nonsense.

This is not a great response on a thread where a lot of women have said that they don't achieve an orgasm during piv or even at all.

Saying "what would even be the point of that relationship?" is both rude, ignorant and designed to make perfectly normal women feel shamed or feel that there is something wrong with them.

As women on this thread have said, it's perfectly possible to have a close and inimtate relationship with someone even if you don't achieve orgasm through piv or even at all.
Relationships are about more than sex.

Ooi

Yeah, I get why you said that and I fully empathise with those women. I'd like to draw your attention to something. There's a huge difference between a woman who can climax, knows what it's like and what she's missing, and has to go without because her partner isn't putting in the effort to build that skill, versus a woman who has never climaxed and doesn't know what she's missing - all her relationships would then be equal in the bedroom department so this thread isn't relevant to them. In fact, that woman wouldn't even necessarily know how bad the man was in bed so might not get angry with him.

I recognise I didn't actually even think about that scenario but the point stands.

You wouldn't complain about your partner refusing to do any sports with you if they could not use their legs and never could (not adapted, something specific for both like a team sport), but if they could, and still refused to make the effort to do one single active hobby with you, I doubt you'd enjoy that relationship as much. I have experienced both in the past - it's selfish and evidence your partner doesn't care about you.

The OP indicated they can climax but are missing out on good sex because their partner isn't good, basically. So in that context, I wouldn't stick around.

100% this. And it's a well documented fact that many women don't achieve orgasm through PIV sex. The vast, VAST majority in fact. It's actually farcical to say that women aren't doing sex right, and are some kind of failures because they don't have an orgasm through PIV sex. (As well as offensive, arrogant, and rude to assume they are all having shit sex.)

.

The quote history in your post

"Lesbians also rarely orgasm from toy penetration alone."

People then explained the facts of why - of course there are other ways to orgasm without a penis! But unless you have a vibrator, you typically need clitoral stimulation as well.

You need to look at the whole conversation.

You: women don't orgasm through penetration because men are crap in bed
Me: but women also don't orgasm through penetration with other women
You: that's because only penises can do it, not toys

It makes no sense at all. Women CAN orgasm from toy penetration, just not many of them. Just like not many women can orgasm from penis penetration. The difference isn't the skill of the penis holder but anatomical.

For clarity, I agree most men are crap in bed. But I don't agree that women should feel defective, or that their partner is defective, just because they don't orgasm from penetration.

Maybe I misunderstood what you meant but I think you are getting a lot of information about the poster from her one single post!

She doesn't say she has had great sex in the past at all.

She hasn't been back either which is odd.

I have a love hate relationship with my orgasms sometimes! And I think it’s down to skill, attraction and physical proportions

Also I get different versions of orgasm, some are small and and some are absolutely huge and full body shudder. So I think some are just more intense than others?

I did not find my ex very attractive, but anatomically his body seemed to be shaped in such a way that I could get to orgasm via PIV when I was on top because I could grind on him, but I realise I needed a lot of mental fantasy to get there a lot of the time. He was very good at oral and I always had an orgasm that way, but he never let me give it to him.

After an orgasm I always want to carry on with sex. I’ve never had a multiple though.

My current partner isn’t as confident at oral as my ex so I don’t O that way with him, but he is really good with his hands so I can that way, and he’s much better at PIV and really strong, he’s also well endowed, and I don’t drift off into any fantasies. However he is so much taller than me I think our proportions are slightly at odds, so when I am on top of him I can’t seem to get the right angle to O, so we have found other positions with a little bullet is the magic key.

We don’t often have mutual ones but he is very close behind me.

I don’t like vibrators but I do recommend bullets

@Awkwardisfunny didn't say only penises can do it, neither did she extrapolate her own experience to all women. You're being a bit weird about this.

FWIW, I share her quirks but have even less scope. I've never found a sex toy that works for me. I accept there may be some that would, but I'm unwilling to spend even more money and create even more non-degradable waste. I have fingers.

The quality of a PIV orgasm is superior to any other sort for me and I have frequently had them from PIV only. Lucky me, but then I get no joy from gadgets or oral (despite some partners clearly having virtuoso skills), so there's a payoff.

We're all different. Some women never orgasm, some do really easily from any stimulus or none at all. There's even Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder, in which some women are in a constant state of orgasm and it becomes very painful, not to mention awkward and upsetting. And some women orgasm when they sneeze!

Yes, penetrative toys don't feel like penises. Yes, bareback feels different from condoms.

At the same time, a woman can be barebacking and still be unable to orgasm from vaginal penetration, so suggesting that the naked penis will get her there is setting her up to feel like there's something wrong with her.

I've never come with a penis in my vagina, not even with clitoral stimulation added. But I've come several times with a glass dildo in my vagina and a clit toy.

I think you must be reading her posts through your own bias because yes, she absolutely is saying only penises can do it (hence dismissing lesbians) and extrapolating her experience (hence saying women who don't orgasm via PIV would do so if their partner was better in bed).

Sounds like you're more skilled than the guys and need to teach them what you like.

Everyone is different, you get off, how you get off, if cumming with PIV is important to you then by the sounds of it finding the right partner is going to be a lot more difficult, as it sounds like the majority of people don't cum during PIV, if the reason why you don't is down to your body then that's probably something to speak to your doctor about...

My general feeling on this is that as long as you're both satisfied and neither of you are left hanging so to speak then who cares how you climax.

This.