Could you be satisfied in a loving relationship without orgasm through intercourse?

[BreezyPeachGoose]

Could you be content & satisfied in a relationship which meets most of your needs, except, to achieve a PIV orgasm?

Other means have had some success but are in no way consistent.

Both mid / late 50s, we've been together for around 8 months.

We are in love, the sex is great, the connection is amazing, but the mutual orgasm is elusive...

Ah okay, yeah then that makes sense.

I would agree with this from my experiences.
Some have orgasms on point of entry some don't and some do after a short while. Mostly all orgasm through foreplay.

I've always had be satisfied with that situation. I have had orgasms through intercourse, but they've always been very rare, and I haven't had one for years. As long as he can make you orgasm through other means, I don't see the issue.

Of course. Just use fingers/toys during PIV.

The simultaneous orgasm isn't high up on my list of relationship priorities, but it's nice if it happens

I think s*x scenes to TV and films involve her screaming with pleasure after PIV which he does straight away. Not realistic

Tbh, I have to question how 'great' the sex is if you have generally been orgasmic throughout your life via any means (oral, digital, sex aids, penetration), and are not achieving any orgasms during a sexual encounter with him. At least one should be a bare minimum starting point. I'm sure he wouldn't be happy if he rarely orgasmed during sex.

I’ve never had an orgasm through piv, simultaneous orgasm is rare in my case as well. I went through a patch were I just couldn’t orgasm, it was really frustrating, tbh I don’t think I would be that interested in sex if I couldn’t orgasm.

She doesn't say she doesn't orgasm at all, just that she doesn't during PIV specifically. Which judging from the comments isn't that rare!

I can but it's elusive and has to be a very specific way (that I don't always want to do) but I still have multiple orgasms every time DH and I have sex, just not necessarily during the PIV bit.

Yeah, 'Hollywood sex' is massively harmful imo, especially when kids/teenagers are exposed to it. You end up with a load of people feeling desperately broken because they're not immediately fully aroused on sight alone and orgasming in seconds.

Yes, PIV orgasm without external stimulation is really quite unusual and no better than any other orgasm, so I'm not talking about that.

She said "Other means have had some success but are in no way consistent." Which to me implies she's not regularly orgasming in any way during sex.

That makes it seem like he's not putting much effort into making her orgasm, assuming this lack of orgasms isn't the norm for her. And if it isn't the norm, and is limited to this relationship, the sex doesn't sound that great.

I think I have been very lucky because I did achieve orgasm through penetrative sex- not since menopause though.
I think with an otherwise very good relationship, maybe, but I'm not sure.

OP, is this a new thing?

Loss of orgasm post-menopause is a thing!

Vaginal oestrogen cream (used on clitoris) & systemic HRT can help.

I don’t think it’s necessarily a relationship issue, more of a women’s health issue.

Can you include whatever you do solo to orgasm into your sex life? That’s what I do, I’ve never had an orgasm during PIV and at the same time never not had an orgasm at some point during a session.

Why not together. Masturbate whilst have intercourse.

I can only orgasm through oral.It is what it is.

Depends on the reason. If he has ED I might think twice as it’s quite tricky to navigate. Unless he will take something to help (and it helps). If the sex was good, I just didn’t orgasm PIV but still enjoyed the sex then it wouldn’t matter and I’d be fine with using other means to get there.
It really needs to be considered alongside the relationship as a whole. And also within the context of a later in life relationship, where potential connections are not as abundant as they once may have been. And I do like the companionship element of a relationship too.

Thing is it doesn't really matter what any other MNer thinks - the only person who matters here is you @BreezyPeachGoose . Can you be satisfied with a loving relationship where you don't orgasm the way it sounds like you might want to? The very fact that you have posted your question on here makes me think you feel like you are missing something that matters to you.

Provided I get there most of the time, I really don't give a damn how it's achieved.

Interesting question.
I never had orgasm from just PIV until current relationship.
I am 65 and have had multiple partners including 30 year marriage.
Always before clioral only

I think my current partner (widower) must have had a good sex life with late wife (not that we have discussed that) as my pleasure is what he derives most enjoyment from.
It is cumulative, in the sense that because I know it will be satisfying, it ‘sets it up’ to be.
Sometimes we orgasm together, which is the best, but usually me once or twice before him.
(And is a miracle, because when we met last year I had enormous difficulty ‘accommodating him’ due to vaginal atrophy (another thread 😃)

If that’s all you’ve got to worry about in your 50’s I’d say you were doing fine!

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only woman who has never had an orgasm. But I absolutely love sex, would have it every day if I could, love the filth of it. I have a huge drive. I masturbate and use toys and have since being a teenager. I feel so weird compared to other women.

If you masturbate and use sex toys alone , but don't orgasm , then why do you do it ?
Perhaps you are having orgasms but are not recognising them as such . Up thread some called them Hollywood orgasms where there is a lot of screaming and thrashing about . Lucky is the woman that gets them !
Do you feel flutters or a contracting of you vaginal muscles ? That is an orgasm .
I certainly don't scream & thrash about with mine and still find them enjoyable but like many on here , don't get many PIV ones and have been doing that over 30 years .

@BreezyPeachGoose

As has been said, the vast vast majority of women don't achieve orgasm through penetration (sexual intercourse...) Though some will claim they do......

To pack in a relationship because you don't have an orgasm during sexual intercourse is ludicrous. May as well pack in your partner because he can't fix a roof tile without using a ladder! It's that ludicrous and petty!

The 'mutual orgasming at the same time' thing is a myth. Some will claim it happens to them all the time though....

I’ve never once come at the same time as anyone. DH always makes sure I come first but never through PIV only, I have to use a clitoral vibrator at the same time.

’Claim’?
If they say they do -why do you doubt it? I never did till current partner, but didn’t think that other women who did were ‘claiming’ something I didn’t experience then.