Where are all the decent men hiding?

[Arding]

Where are all the decent men hiding?
Do you have a decent man?
Where did you find him?

@HowardTJMoon this made me chuckle as i have a couple of gorgeous friends who say that they dont meet anyone - to look at them, they are stunning and actually get attention but nothing lasts. The reason being one is extremely difficult/moody/rude at anyone not a close friend, the other has a ton of baggage/very intense so this scares normal people off.

I would say decent men on dating sites are snapped up extremely quickly if you can hold a conversation and are half decent looking.

How much over 60? A ten year age gap is nothing. A twenty year one is more problematic.

I know there must be a lot of women on here with lovely husbands and brothers etc, but when I read about the men on the relationships board I think I'd rather die than meet them!

I travelled halfway around the world to find him!!

All the decent men are enjoying walks in the park on a Sunday followed by a roast.

😆

Probably true and probably losing out to strict filtering criteria, no doubt someone will be along with the advertising byline for Burned Haystack that will fix everything even though they are using it and still single.

On another thread someone thought it was a red flag that someone used 3 question marks on the end of a sentence. If your definition of a decent man hinges on the use of "???" then your definition is wrong.

I reckon all the people who have decent husbands/partners etc, if those men were to create an OLD profile their partners would look at them and say how awful the men are and aren't "decent". I doubt many people would be attracted to their partners OLD profile.

It depends on the age range you are looking for.

Completely agree with the PP about the three window of availability of the decent men. Those who meet a compatible woman, want a relationship, and have good emotional intelligence tend to stay married.
In my case it was the third category. Met in wild. Both widowers. I was 60 with the first one, 64 second one. They are both 5 years younger than me.

If you find one .. please let me know where !! 😭

I mean speak for yourself, I’m pretty low maintenance. I don’t do any of those things you’ve mentioned personally, bar a lick of mascara. And i know plenty of women who don’t either and still look presentable.

But I agree women have more they CAN do. Absolutely.

But here’s the thing, even though there is less men can do - they don’t seem to be doing even that! Not even the bare minimum.

I agree: clean shirt, basic hygiene, shave. Bare minimum. And they aren’t. One look on online dating and it’s like the caveman convention is in town. They use photos where they are swearing at the camera or haven’t bothered to change their stained shirt. All manner of awful. And if they aren’t going to make the effort there you can guarantee he’s turning up in joggers to them.

Also, I’ve never heard a man called desperate for picking a low maintainance woman either? Unless it’s other men telling them that and so we aren’t privy to it.

lol..saved under friend in your phone.

How do you know @Hiredgun ?

Thinking about this in relation to a friend of mine who has been on the apps for ages.
There might bea lot of decent men who get overlooked because they are not the right height/job type etc
She dropped one of the apps because it was ‘full of lorry drivers’.
I’m sure many of those ‘lorry drivers’ might well be ‘decent ‘ men with shared sense of home etc but she still never know.
Met in RL a wonderful man so makes me very happy /no educational qualification over 2GCSEs whilst I have postgrad degrees. He is highly funny and clever and kind. We have wildly different hobbies and he has a dog (I don’t like dogs) So on paper not compatible, but in RL we have do much fun and a lovely relationship.

My husband is amazing! He’s the kindest, most selfless person I have ever met.

We met on a dating website.

Oh hello again, fancy seeing you here too.

The answer to your question would likely surprise you.

Met my partner on a dating site when I was 48 and he was 52. We'd both broken up with our previous partners.

Love the idea of a Mumsnet dating thingy, with mums describing their single sons and daughters. The profiles might not be any more honest than the traditional dating apps (mums have rose-coloured spectacles), but it would at least focus on the more important things than a 6-pack.

I met mine at a geeky hobby when I was 38 and he was 37. There was recently a thread where people ended up mentioning similar interests to what my husband has and the majority of people said men like my husband would give them the ick. So that’ll be why he was single for years before he met me I guess. I don’t care because I love him and we have similar interests! And i would much rather have my husband and his geeky hobbies than one who goes out and gets drunk every weekend and comes home and pisses the bed like a lot of the men I read about on here!

Agree!
My OH has a ‘geeky’ hobby that many women on here would reject on sight. (Not the ‘pic with a fish’ that most women, especially the bitter Burnt Haystack coterie deride, but suspect they would sneer at this) and he is adorable!
Very good emotional intelligence that is the key to a mature approach to relationships.

I know I am late to the post but I had my first date with my husband on 12/27. We were engaged 3/17 and married on 12/5 of the same year. I was 34. He was/is amazing. Neither of us had been married before. He had a great job, nice extended family and was so nice to look at! I don't know how it happened, it just did. I promise you there are good men out there.

I forgot to say that we have been married almost 29 years.

I am 47 i met my perfect guy 2 1/2 years ago he delivered my amazon parcel and we got chatting 🤣🤣. i had been OLD for 10 years and met so many frogs.. I had known him since primary school so he wasnt a complete stranger lived in the same area as me we had just never bumped into each other..

He is the best thing that happened to me.. he works hard to provide for us ( i work too thats not the reason he is perfect 🤣) and makes me laugh every single day ...a true gentlemen and I genuinely have no idea what I did without him.. i thought i would never meet anyone so it can happen..

Oh I love this! ❤️

My friend has a younger partner who absolutely adores her and her child. He does all the childcare and spends all his time doing stuff for them both. He’s crazy about her. My friend is separated too yet her partner just waits for her despite issues with the divorce. However superficially I find him just pretty nice but not fun in any way, he’s like a wide eyed innocent. Yet more fool me because that’s the kind of guy I’d be missing out on purely because he doesn’t ’turn me on’. My point is maybe we need to open our minds more!

That is so true. My partner is the same height as me. You also have to get past the slightly gruff exterior with him too. We met at work, but I would have dismissed him on online dating I think.