Ancestry DNA shock result

[rageagainstthemachine72]

My daughter did a dna test, results came back 25% Italian. I thought that's weird, that must mean one of her parents is half italian, so I did a test, yes you guessed it I'm 48% Italian and my two sisters who tested years ago came up as half sisters. Devastated, mum died two years ago and the man who I thought was my father died over 30 years ago. Not really sure what I'm looking for regarding this post, just some support and anyone out there with similar stories.

That must be destabilising, OP. Don't forget through that those parents who raised you and loved you, are your parents. You just have a bonus one out there. And your mum, was more than just a mum, she was a woman, a complex one!

Wow just wow that is crazy.

A lot of libraries offer genealogy advice and some free access to ancestry websites. And also Mormons off if you get really stuck!

Good idea. I will do that.

I don’t agree with you @Supersleepysheepythat “These silly tests always bring nothing but trouble and heartache……….”
For my adopted husband having had an Ancestry test done, the results confirmed who his Dad was.
He had met his biological mother - he had looked for her and that took a while, it took her a couple of years to tell him who his Dad was.
He wanted desperately to know but he wouldn’t push her.
His Mum and Dad had a very short lived relationship. Both were young and single. The Dad ran for the hills.

At least now my DH knows his origins and that’s good. It certainly gave him closure. He is happy.

Ah well my dad(birth certificate dad) is Irish from Dublin so I can still get a European passport.

When abroad with my sister and we have been introduced as sisters, we have often had the replies "sister from another mister"

Wow people can be rude!

Totally agree with you @deeahgwitch , I’m adopted and hoping to find out about my father. Really doesn’t feel silly to me even though I have the family I was raised in.

Good luck in your journey @rageagainstthemachine72 - it’s worth noting, I think, that people using these sites to fill out their family trees are in a different headspace to those of us looking for close blood relatives.

That’s brilliant xx my dad doesn’t possess a British bone in his body - 50%irish 50% Italian but as he’s not on my birth certificate I’ve had to go down the visa route to live in Europe. I do look very southern European though so it’s fun to finally fit in somewhere.

I think DNA is something that’s largely personal.

I never knew my biological father and never had any interest in heritage or where he was from. Then I was diagnosed with a genetic condition and my Mum tested negative so I had a lot of questions. My Mum offered to reach out and I’ve done a lot of internal soul searching since then as I wanted answers but felt that stone better left unturned.

Now I’ve had children I’ve debated doing an ancestry test as I’d like to be able to tell them about it (I believe he was from somewhere in Scandinavia) but again, I’m too worried about what that would drag up for me and it doesn’t change anything. I do see why people would want to though. If my Mum wasn’t alive I think I would go for it.

What a shock op. It’s sadly not that uncommon. A similar story with DP last year, found out the man who he thought was his dad, is not. In his case his mum decided to admit it but she wouldn’t have if he hadn’t done a dna test and questioned why he came back partly Maltese and matching with first cousins with a very unusual surname which did not link up to his ‘dad’ at all. In his case his supposed dad hadn’t been around much and his actual dad had no idea as far as we know. Sent him a letter (we believe he’s still alive) but no reply.

not much advice, but take time to process it, people don’t fully understand the feelings around it, unless they’ve been through it or close to someone who has, worse in your case as both your mum and the man who you thought was dad are no longer around.

look after yourself! But also embrace your new found identity if you wish!

My DNA test via My Heritage said I was 44 per cent Scandinavian and occasionally I get posts saying some Swedish name is a cousin a few times removed.
but Ancestry.com said I was only 6 per cent Scandinavian and while it’s true I don’t know who my mums dad was he’s meant to be Irish from Dublin. Otherwise my parents couldn’t be more English and I know their ancestry (gfather aside)

This is the danger of DNA tests. I would never give one to someone as a gift.
My mother was almost exactly in your position, though she did manage to make contact, and have a short relationship with her ‘real father’ ( I say ‘short’ due to him being very elderly, so he died not long after).

Her mother, my grandmother was already dead, and she spent quite a while being feeling v frustrated and angry that she this was kept from her.

I personally think, as it was the fifties (not sure about your parents era), rather than being purposefully deceitful, my grandmother just made a guess. As it turns out she was actually seeing a few different men. Considering how many, ‘I don’t know who the father is’ threads there are, on MN, this was in era it was much harder to tell.

I also come as 25% italian. It does not mean anyone was 25% italian. It means that your daughter and peoole living in a specific part of italy share the same ancestors. That's it.
Also 25% Italian may mean anything from mediterranian region (can be Greek, for example). The results are reflective of the samples this company has.
You may do a test on MyHeritage and get slight difference e.g. your Italian may turn into South France

The Gift is a wonderful series though maybe a bit soon for OP to listen as not all of the stories end happily.

That result doesn't necessarily mean she definitely had an an Italian great grandparent. That DNA may come from further back.

OP, one thing to bear in mind is that your biological father may well have been "genetically" Italian, and it's worth doing any necessary research to potentially upload your results to a more Italian-focused DNA registery but, he could also be English with Italian heritage.

My DH grew up in another country, with Greek heritage. But the last members of his family to actually be born or live in Greece were his great grandparents on both sides. His DNA is almost 100% Greek. His uncle was the first person in DH's family that he knows of who married outside of the Greek culture. DH was the second. I don't think this is unusual and for many of people who grow up as part of one culture but living in another country, until fairly recently, it was considered very unusual to marry outside of that culture. So your biological dad could absolutely be actually Italian, or he could be part of an Italian family that lived in the UK.

@WorkingBling but her sisters have come up as half sisters so that is not the case for the OP .

My father only had a short-form birth certificate and when I did a bit of research after he died I discovered all sorts of cover-ups in the family, including the fact that he and one of his younger sisters were actually the children of one of their "sisters" and and two more of his siblings were the children of another "sister". They came what was then a dockyard town, which goes some way to explain why he looked slightly "exotic" and why, when I went to Yemen, an awful lot of the men looked as though they might be family. I probably ought to do a DNA test and find out.

what? I'm talking about OP's biological father. He is clearly of Italian heritage. But my point is that he he may or may not have been born and grew up in Italy.

He might be - and her mum had a fling on a girls weekend away or something - OR, he might be part of an Italian family that have been born and lived in the UK for many generations.

The point I was making is that looking for him via Italian-focused DNA websites is a good idea but she shouldn't discount more UK based ones because the fact that he was Italian genetically doesn't mean he was born and grew up there.

@WorkingBling sorry I misunderstood what you were saying

My uncle did ancestry. He matched as cousins with people we didn't know existed. Turned out my great grandmother had a child that was put up for adoption. So my nan had another sister. We met the cousins and they are lovely. One is so like my mum in personality its unbelievable. It was a shock but the truth always comes out. Sometimes that truth us difficult or hard to reconcile but ultimately its the truth. At the moment you dont know what happened. You could have been a result if sperm donation rather than cheating. They didn't really talk about stuff like that during the day. Hopefully, you'll learn more, if thats what you want, in the future.

I imagine you're still trying to process this new knowledge. If this were me, I'd start researching the time around your conception. Did your Mum go on holiday? Did they have Italian neighbours? Were there any Italian names on the electoral rolls where they lived? I think I'd be looking for opportunities Mum had to meet Italian men at that time. It won't find your father but it might bring you closer to his family / community.

Exactly the same here. I've met loads of new cousins and found a murder in the family 4 generations back.

That must be a big shock OP, but I would take your time to sit with it before deciding on any further action.
My Mum told us a few years back that all three of us had different Dads.
My brother and sister both tracked down their real dads, but both eventually decided to go no further. You might want to make contact with new family members, but you might not.
We all felt that it made no difference to us as a family, so didn't want to risk potential repercussions in other families.

Good luck with whatever you decide.