Thoughts on a 45 year old married man going to a lads holiday in Ibiza

[ohlookaflyingpinkelephant]

What the title says ! he used to go this when he was in early 20s when we met / before children . Always gone away for city breaks and beer festivals , walking holidays with mates .
we go away and have family holidays . But this one is giving me the ick !
We are parents of an 18 year old and 12 year old . He’s not clubber or music fan . But he’s got two mates who like to go and one is getting divorced. Aibu ?

Depends…

Well I’m in my 50s and if I had the chance of a girls weekend in Ibiza I’d go, so I don’t see anything wrong with it. Couples don’t need to be joined at the hip, you either trust each other or you don’t.

Completely fine.

I go on girls holidays to Ibiza and Benidorm with my friends as a married mum of 4. Husband goes on breaks with his mates.

We both enjoy them more lnow then we did when we were younger

Lots of people are trustworthy and faithful, but when people are in groups away from home they tend to do what the others do, not wanting to be the odd one out, and perhaps end up doing things they would not normally do, add sun, relaxed atmosphere, lots of alcohol etc…

On what?

The type of holiday

What would you deem a suitable lads holiday?

I don’t agree. Being away from home with a group of friends doesn’t change who I am or my respect for my partner. Many others are the same, men and women.

Nope. I’ve never accidentally slipped and landed on another man’s dick because of a cocktail/friends/sunshine. Maybe I’ve been incredibly lucky! Must watch out for the future.

What type of holiday are women in their sixties allowed to have?

And men/lads?

Yeah, you are being a bit unreasonable. This would be a non issue for me.

@Harrietsaunt Amy's quilting and tea bachelorette party in The Big Bang Theory comes to mind 😆

Is he taking drugs? Would you mind? All he’ll be doing is having a laugh, maybe taking drugs and enjoying the sun and booze. Highly doubtful he’ll cheat.

I wouldn’t think older married men, or those with long term partners going on holidays to Ibiza etc with young, carefree lads is a good mix!
Same applies to women

Where does it say he’s going away with much younger men? Even so, what is the problem?

I am wondering if you have very low quality friends? I manage to holiday with women of various ages and don’t find myself doing anything illegal or even immoral. I am struggling to think of anyone in my friendship groups who doesn’t go away with their friends as well as their family.

Some of us even go on holiday alone😱

How offensive! None of my friends are low quality!

Perhaps it’s a generational thing, but neither of us would want to go on holiday without each other, days out yes, but not weeks away doing our own thing. None of my friends (( not of low quality!) do either, apart from going to a relative occasionally. My children are the same, and we’re all perfectly happy about it!

My partner who is nearly 50 is off clubbing to Ibiza next month. He is going with a mixed group to an event that last 5 days.

I can’t stand clubbing music so he goes without me to have fun dancing. He can’t stand metal music so I go to events without him.

we are older, wiser and have more money to do what we enjoy. I trust him. He us having fun and have peace

There are a lot of midlife people who holiday with friends, so it's not unusual Ibiza or anywhere) but I get that most people would prefer to spend money on holidays with their partner/family.

God how embarrassing for thr dh would that be. That would be worse than him.not going at all and would be social death for him 🤣
You"d look pretty stupid yourself if you accompanied your dh on a lads trip. Are you going to take your dc too?

The places I go on holiday are generally 4/5* resorts, but wherever you go on holiday, you'll see the 'sad bastards' drunk, loud and frankly cringeworthy.

You see them round the AI pools, getting 4 drinks each every round and then screaming/shouting to each other 'Jade, get us all 4 more vodka slushies!'

Whenever you go for a walk along the streets/beachfront/resort you see them.

And wherever you go, whatever country, whatever resort, there will be a few groups of 'lads' and 'girls' on holiday/stag/hen/celebrating divorce who are simply getting rat arsed and behaving like they're 19 again. It's impossible to totally avoid them.

The fact that you seem to think that I'm 'dissing' ALL holidaymakers/groups shows me that I've struck a nerve with you?

The OP states that her H has been on lads holidays previously but that the idea of a 45yr old going on a lads holiday with divorced (thereby single) mates is 'giving me the ick'.

I'm simply agreeing with her, that it IS cringeworthy.

Just because I don't agree with you, that doesn't negate or invalidate my opinion, but it seems to really annoy you for some reason? 🤔

Relax. No need for a bun fight or insults you know 😉

No nerve struck here, I just don’t see this. And we travel a lot and yes to higher end resorts.

Thankyou for your views
he is going ofc , I would never say he couldn’t . He isn’t a lads lad . No doesn’t take drugs or go to clubs . He does go away for weekend breaks and we go away a lot as a family . I go away too .
The last time he went away on a clubbing holiday he was 26 . I’m guessing it’s revisiting a blast from the past because his mate is newly single . For those wondering I do trust him . He’s a great father and husband , works extremely hard and is generous.