Thoughts on a 45 year old married man going to a lads holiday in Ibiza

[ohlookaflyingpinkelephant]

What the title says ! he used to go this when he was in early 20s when we met / before children . Always gone away for city breaks and beer festivals , walking holidays with mates .
we go away and have family holidays . But this one is giving me the ick !
We are parents of an 18 year old and 12 year old . He’s not clubber or music fan . But he’s got two mates who like to go and one is getting divorced. Aibu ?

Jealousy ????

Please explain.

Who needs men to dismiss, minimise and feel superior to women when some women are happy to collude with them and present themselves as immature and not worthy of respect as adults?

What does ‘lads holiday’ actually mean though? A few days in Ibiza with his friends, sitting by the pool, eating, a few beers and maybe a trip to a music club if that’s their thing? Or a drunken rampage through the Ibiza strip downing shots and attempting to pick up girls??
1 is fine. 2 is not.
My DH would live a trip to Ibiza with his friends (he’s 45) but he was always a big clubber and dance music fan. Still is. They’d get a villa and chill and then go see djs at night. But I trust him utterly so I’d wave him off happily.

All the term "girls trip" conjours up is a group of giggly immature women who are in denial about their age and intent on behaving like teenagers. Perhap your trip wasn't like this but it's certainly the message you are giving when you call it a " girls trip"

I don't see what is wrong with "women's trip" or " women's holiday" unless you are ashamed of being an adult woman. If you are then why not use " Friend's Trip" or " "Pal's Trip".

Language matters. Adults aren't children and there is something far wrong with some adults that they feel the need to refer to themselves as children.

@AnonymityAnonymity fair enough. Luckily I've reached an age where your opinion and my experiences don't need to align. You can call your group holidays whatever you choose and I shall take the liberty to do the same. Yay freedom!

its called just having fun and girls trip is fine , no one gets to decide how someone else describes anything.
people can say what they like , Im 50 and going on a girls trip, we call nights out girls night etc , thats our choice and we know we are grown up but we also can have fun and if we want to party like we are 20 , who cares , who does that hurt, no one. Rather have fund than be miserable and worry about how others live.
as to OP if you trust your dh then location is irrelevant and lots people this age going to ibiza , especially if they were into it years ago etc

I went on a girls holiday for my 50th birthday with my wife, mum, sister in law and daughter. Nobody got the wrong “message “ we just had a fabulous time.

Struck a nerve have i.

Depends if your husband is a “player” or not - will he be taking drugs and on the pull, or just having a nice time with his friends?

We go for long weekends with friends, jointly and seperately, Ibiza is beautiful, I’ve been a couple of times, I’m in my 50s, I’d definitely go again.

Blimey I didn’t get the memo, neither did many others, which said once you’re married with responsibilities you can’t go away with your friends, who knew, not me that’s for sure, 😂

👏👏👏

Why is it giving you the ick?

Married, not surgically attached to each other.

I don't see anything wrong with it. My DH goes away once a year on a 'lads/dads/mans' holiday, whatever you want to frigging call it - the name is neither here nor there. I've been with my friends. Can't really see what the issue is.

Why do pp on here take things so literally? So what if the term "girls trip", "girls night out" is used? It's just a figure of speech, it means nothing. I'm another one who did not get the memo that once you have partner/ kids you're not supposed to go out and let your hair down every now and again. My big 60th birthday is a GIRLS trip to Ibiza.
We also went when our dc were young. The dh's had to pick up the slack for a few days.
God, there are some stuffy people on here. Fair enough if you don't enjoy dancing then don't go, but why be so absolutely stuffy about others going, or referring it as a girls trip? Loosen up and let your hair down! For some of us - male and female - dancing releases a lot of energy and gives us that dopamine hit. Not everyone goes with the purpose of being on the pull.
You get one life so you should do what you do to enjoy yourself. Our generation grew up on dance music. We don't all suddenly stop loving a rave once we pass 25.
A little anecdote: Op seems to think that at 45 her dh is too old for the Ibiza scene now. Mary Berry went to Pacha at 84 years old and loved it. He's got years to go before he hangs up his glo sticks and rave whistle for good!

I went away with a group of friends to Ibiza last year it was absolutely great we had a lovely time watched the sun go down at Cafe del Mar with a cocktail 🍸 had a few nights out dancing 💃

We are all in our 50s.

What is the issue, op?

That's your issue if you see a "girls trip" that way. Meanwhile, in the real world, it does not mean that at all. It's just a figure of speech, a quick way of saying a women's only trip to do any number of nice things together, let their hair down and hopefully bond.

I think it’s jeakous and resentful people. No one invites them, they’ve no one to invite, so they make silly bitchy little comments. It’s so transparent and wearisome.

Language does matter, the words we use reveal a lot about ourselves and the motivation behind our words.

yours is jealousy and resentment.

Yes but the combination of alcohol, sun and peer pressure to conform with group activities makes some act differently.

Not much harm in it surely?

I recently went on a girls trip there. Not sure why a group of chaps couldn't do the same...?

Really no need for this - my mum is nearly 80 and describes her friends as ‘the girls’, I think it’s completely harmless.

I wouldn't want to be prevented from going because my spouse is worried about "what if's" that may never happen. What a miserable way to live. A lot of us are capable of having drinks without the need to give in to peer pressure. You have to trust your spouse to do the right thing. If you don't trust them then it's a biggger issue that you have.

Some time ago there was a thread about what went on at a stag do in Prague. The results were on the OP’s side and disgust was expressed at what the DH got up to when the others revealed their activities. What’s different about a lad’s holiday, except it’s not a dirty weekend, but a whole week! They are going to booze. go to nightclubs, strip clubs etc., do stupid things, get tattoos etc, and stds. Most of them will drink excessively and egg the others to join in. They will not be just having a few pints and sunbathing. If dancing is the thing, that can be done anywhere.