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Relationships

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Partner put a cable round my neck and called it a joke

255 replies

Tim3toputmys3lffirst · 12/07/2026 20:26

I am still trying to process what happened and have so many emotions about it.

Out of the blue, my partner picked an electric cable up and said ‘do you know what this can be used for?’ Then he put it around my neck.
when I said ‘ok’ in a questioning way, utterly shocked and frozen, he then pulled it upwards, making it tighter. I said stop that hurts. He let go and laughed. I said why would you do that? He said because it’s funny.
i could not get any words out in utter disbelief that someone who is meant to love you could find that funny.
He then chucked a plastic wash basket down the stairs and laughed, and
walked down the stairs.
He came up 5 minutes later and
saw how upset I was. He said what’s wrong? Like nothing had happened.
I said I don’t understand why you would want to do that to me. He said it was a joke, I replied it’s not funny. He said everything I do is funny.
he then just stood there for ages and took way too long to apologise.
His reaction to me being upset, and not being apologetic enough had made me just as upset and the act in itself.

He does joke around a lot and most things are funny. But this was a step too far.
I am now feeling concerned that this is the start of something serious and I should think about what I need to do to protect myself from further harm.
Feeling absolutely crushed right now and I can’t bring myself to tell any family or friends about it.

OP posts:
Silverbirchleaf · 12/07/2026 22:10

Ex partner I hope.

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 12/07/2026 22:14

Leave him

Mischance · 12/07/2026 22:20

Heavens - this is not normal behaviour. Please make sure you and your children are safe.

DebOnDating · 12/07/2026 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Minasama · 12/07/2026 22:23

Please tell your family and friends and please get out of this relationship. This is absolutely chilling behaviour.
It reminds me of a book I read about a real-life German serial killer who drew a knife down the back of one of his girlfriends, just because he felt an overwhelming urge to. She escaped and he was very matter of fact when interviewed about it.

rageconsumesme · 12/07/2026 22:26

Please leave him. You have been given some excellent advice. Please make a plan, and if at all possible, leave with your children tonight. You can never trust this man again.

LunaTheCat · 12/07/2026 22:27

He could kill you. Please call police asap and women’s aid. Don’t wait a minute more.

Daygloboo · 12/07/2026 22:33

Tim3toputmys3lffirst · 12/07/2026 20:26

I am still trying to process what happened and have so many emotions about it.

Out of the blue, my partner picked an electric cable up and said ‘do you know what this can be used for?’ Then he put it around my neck.
when I said ‘ok’ in a questioning way, utterly shocked and frozen, he then pulled it upwards, making it tighter. I said stop that hurts. He let go and laughed. I said why would you do that? He said because it’s funny.
i could not get any words out in utter disbelief that someone who is meant to love you could find that funny.
He then chucked a plastic wash basket down the stairs and laughed, and
walked down the stairs.
He came up 5 minutes later and
saw how upset I was. He said what’s wrong? Like nothing had happened.
I said I don’t understand why you would want to do that to me. He said it was a joke, I replied it’s not funny. He said everything I do is funny.
he then just stood there for ages and took way too long to apologise.
His reaction to me being upset, and not being apologetic enough had made me just as upset and the act in itself.

He does joke around a lot and most things are funny. But this was a step too far.
I am now feeling concerned that this is the start of something serious and I should think about what I need to do to protect myself from further harm.
Feeling absolutely crushed right now and I can’t bring myself to tell any family or friends about it.

I'm more inclined to think that rather than it being sinister and having bad motivation behind it that it is in fact the behaviour of someone who has a kind of prankster mentalty and doesnt understand risk and danger. For this reason, I think you should leave. He could do something else stupid on the spur of the moment and injure you or worse. The fact he didnt recognise the seriousness of what he had done is also another reason to leave. He is reckless and dangerous.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/07/2026 22:34

I agree he is testing your boundaries.

no normal boyfriend would do this. Even if he did as a joke then he would be really apologetic when he saw how shaken up you were. Please report to police I never did with my ex and regret it.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/07/2026 22:35

Please also get ring door bell cctv at home

lulubalu · 12/07/2026 22:38

Utterly horrific, I know the thought of leaving with your two children and the uncertainty of your future might be overwhelming but if you don't leave, your two babies may well end up motherless - I'm not saying this to shock, well i am actually - to shock you into action. You're simply not safe in the same house as this man. Ask for help from friends and family, I really don't want to read about you in the national newspapers.

Wishing you courage and strength to get out of this situation and away from danger.

99bottlesofkombucha · 12/07/2026 22:39

Your children need you to get out.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 12/07/2026 22:46

99bottlesofkombucha · 12/07/2026 22:39

Your children need you to get out.

This

youalright · 12/07/2026 22:48

This is disturbing this is actually worse then if he'd punched you in the face. You need to leave now you and your children aren't safe.

godmum56 · 12/07/2026 22:50

have you got somewhere safe to go tonight?

justasking111 · 12/07/2026 22:53

Tim3toputmys3lffirst · 12/07/2026 20:43

Thank you so much for all your comments.
we have lived together for almost 3 years in a house we jointly own. He’s never shown any violence towards me before, but he has said things in the past to humiliate me and made me feel not good enough. I know that’s where it starts. People should never ignore red flags, but I think that’s exactly what I have done 😭
I have 2 children but they are not his.
He works night shifts so I have tonight to collect my thoughts and figure out a plan

Together three years, you should still be at the lovey dovey stage. He's putting you down, pushing your buttons. That's a lot of 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. The physical action I'd have completely lost it.

@Tim3toputmys3lffirst you have a lot of thinking to do.

Roundthemaypole · 12/07/2026 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Please don't do this, it's terrible advice.

If you can leav tonight, please do go, his behaviour is chilling. If you can't, keep everything as normal as possible until you are able to leave, don't anger him, don't provoke him with police reports, don't do anything out of the ordinary whilst you get whatever support you need to leave safely. Leaving and just after you've left is a dangerous time.

Sending you so many good wishes.

FrustratedApples · 12/07/2026 23:11

Leave right now before he kills you or hurts your children. Report this to the police ASAP - it is a crime. Then you can take the advice of police and contact women's aid about next steps.

outerspacepotato · 12/07/2026 23:12

Call the police now to get you and your kids out safely. You need an escort to leave, you've undergone an extremely serious and possibly life threatening physical assault.

He strangled you. That was no joke. You also need to be checked out immediately!!! by an ER doctor. You could have airway damage as well as multiple other issues. You're now at high risk of him murdering you.

Gwenna · 12/07/2026 23:14

My instinct is saying get away from him, and I think yours is saying the same OP. It’s like he was doing a practice run - to see what it felt like. Brrr. Trust yourself 💖

Tim3toputmys3lffirst · 12/07/2026 23:15

Sorry everyone. It’s been a long
evening, but we are safe at a relatives house. It didn’t take me long to realise that everything you’ve all said is what I needed to do.
So thank you to each of you. At least tonight I can hopefully get some sleep and sort out what the next step is tomorrow.

OP posts:
Franjipanl8r · 12/07/2026 23:16

Daygloboo · 12/07/2026 22:33

I'm more inclined to think that rather than it being sinister and having bad motivation behind it that it is in fact the behaviour of someone who has a kind of prankster mentalty and doesnt understand risk and danger. For this reason, I think you should leave. He could do something else stupid on the spur of the moment and injure you or worse. The fact he didnt recognise the seriousness of what he had done is also another reason to leave. He is reckless and dangerous.

He’d have to have the mental age of a 7 year old to not understand that wrapping a chord around someone’s neck isn’t highly threatening and dangerous.

godmum56 · 12/07/2026 23:16

Tim3toputmys3lffirst · 12/07/2026 23:15

Sorry everyone. It’s been a long
evening, but we are safe at a relatives house. It didn’t take me long to realise that everything you’ve all said is what I needed to do.
So thank you to each of you. At least tonight I can hopefully get some sleep and sort out what the next step is tomorrow.

Bless you and I am glad you have got a safe refuge while you get sorted.

Gwenna · 12/07/2026 23:17

Tim3toputmys3lffirst · 12/07/2026 23:15

Sorry everyone. It’s been a long
evening, but we are safe at a relatives house. It didn’t take me long to realise that everything you’ve all said is what I needed to do.
So thank you to each of you. At least tonight I can hopefully get some sleep and sort out what the next step is tomorrow.

Excellent news, OP! Proud of you 👏💖

Mischance · 12/07/2026 23:23

Stay safe.

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