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Partner put a cable round my neck and called it a joke

255 replies

Tim3toputmys3lffirst · 12/07/2026 20:26

I am still trying to process what happened and have so many emotions about it.

Out of the blue, my partner picked an electric cable up and said ‘do you know what this can be used for?’ Then he put it around my neck.
when I said ‘ok’ in a questioning way, utterly shocked and frozen, he then pulled it upwards, making it tighter. I said stop that hurts. He let go and laughed. I said why would you do that? He said because it’s funny.
i could not get any words out in utter disbelief that someone who is meant to love you could find that funny.
He then chucked a plastic wash basket down the stairs and laughed, and
walked down the stairs.
He came up 5 minutes later and
saw how upset I was. He said what’s wrong? Like nothing had happened.
I said I don’t understand why you would want to do that to me. He said it was a joke, I replied it’s not funny. He said everything I do is funny.
he then just stood there for ages and took way too long to apologise.
His reaction to me being upset, and not being apologetic enough had made me just as upset and the act in itself.

He does joke around a lot and most things are funny. But this was a step too far.
I am now feeling concerned that this is the start of something serious and I should think about what I need to do to protect myself from further harm.
Feeling absolutely crushed right now and I can’t bring myself to tell any family or friends about it.

OP posts:
Sunshineandgrapefruit · 12/07/2026 20:51

Agree. It's not worth the risk to you or the kids. Tell someone irl immediately and go.

ProudPearl · 12/07/2026 20:52

Just adding another voice to the message- please get yourself and your children away from this man.

FlamingoFloss · 12/07/2026 20:55

So sorry this has happened OP. It’s terrifying. Please consider telling someone in real life - a friend or family member. Women’s aid can help you make a plan to leave

AcquadiP · 12/07/2026 20:55

That's fucking hilarious. Infact, it's so fucking hilarious he would have come upstairs to find me packing and unable to utter a single, civil word to him because I would be seething with anger. Do you think the police would find it funny? No, I very much doubt that they would. You have done nothing wrong other than not telling your friends and family and you need to tell them urgently. In the meantime, either throw him out or leave. He's showed you who he really is. Believe him.

istherereallytimeforallthat · 12/07/2026 21:00

Tim3toputmys3lffirst · 12/07/2026 20:43

Thank you so much for all your comments.
we have lived together for almost 3 years in a house we jointly own. He’s never shown any violence towards me before, but he has said things in the past to humiliate me and made me feel not good enough. I know that’s where it starts. People should never ignore red flags, but I think that’s exactly what I have done 😭
I have 2 children but they are not his.
He works night shifts so I have tonight to collect my thoughts and figure out a plan

Please - this is serious.

Call 999 and tell the police he wrapped a ligature around your neck and pulled it tight, and pretended to strangle you. Tell them he laughed at you. Tell them he is at work and you are afraid for your safety and that of your children when he comes home. Do exactly what the police tell you to do.

OneNewEagle · 12/07/2026 21:01

You need to leave asap as gently as you can whilst he is not in. Do not tell him just leave. That is not a joke.

I had an abusive ex decades ok. That was done to me until I passed out many times, I don’t know how I survived those years.

Harrietsaunt · 12/07/2026 21:05

I’m so sorry. You need to get away safely as quickly as you can. 💐

Over40Overdating · 12/07/2026 21:07

This is a test to escalate his verbal abuse @Tim3toputmys3lffirst. It’s always ‘a joke’ until they are confident you won’t fight back.

A woman who is strangled by her partner is 10 times more likely to be killed by him.

Please make reporting this part of your thought process tonight. You need the police to take you seriously as he is very likely to escalate once he knows you are leaving. Please make sure there is someone there when you tell him or do it by phone and have someone in the house before he returns.

plsbekinddelicate · 12/07/2026 21:08

Please contact police and women’s aid

unsync · 12/07/2026 21:09

Tell your friends and family. This is not something you should hide, you need support. This man is abusive. He enjoys humiliating you and is escalating. This relationship is over. Be very careful when you end it, he may not react well.

ThatMauveQuail · 12/07/2026 21:09

MyCatIsAnAeroplane · 12/07/2026 20:29

I don’t think I have ever read anything quite as chilling as this on here. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

If it is just you and him I would genuinely be considering leaving tonight and definitely logging the incident with the police. Let someone else IRL know what happened and get out.

This.^
It's over, sorry OP. How could you ever trust him or relax around him again?
Run and don't look back.

MissyB1 · 12/07/2026 21:10

Please let us know that you are getting yourself and the kids to safety. You can’t stay with him, he will escalate. Phone a family member and tell them what happened. Make an escape plan asap.

sanityisamyth · 12/07/2026 21:11

Leave. Tonight. He’s testing the water. It’ll only get worse.

PetulaGordeno · 12/07/2026 21:13

Don’t keep this a secret.
You know it’s not a joke. Would he do this in front of your family? No, because it’s not funny.
You have 2 DC to think of here.
Look up Trudi Burgess - gorgeous woman, grown up kids, started dating her sister’s gardener. He ended up breaking her neck and she’s paralysed for life. He told the paramedics it was a sex game gone wrong.
You know this is a red line. Make a plan.’I think you need to ring the police because this man is dangerous.

notacooldad · 12/07/2026 21:13

I am now feeling concerned that this is the start of something serious and I should think about what I need to do to protect myself from further harm
100% you are right to be worried.
In all seriousness and I dont say this lightly, but get the hell out of this relationship.
He has fired the first warning shot showing who he is. Dont hang around for another one.

TheBlueKoala · 12/07/2026 21:13

Over40Overdating · 12/07/2026 21:07

This is a test to escalate his verbal abuse @Tim3toputmys3lffirst. It’s always ‘a joke’ until they are confident you won’t fight back.

A woman who is strangled by her partner is 10 times more likely to be killed by him.

Please make reporting this part of your thought process tonight. You need the police to take you seriously as he is very likely to escalate once he knows you are leaving. Please make sure there is someone there when you tell him or do it by phone and have someone in the house before he returns.

This. He's def testing waters- He's gotten away with verbal abuse and is now upping his "game". He's unhinged and you need to make a plan to leave him. Don't tell him before you got a safe exit plan!!!!

endofthelinefinally · 12/07/2026 21:13

Run.

Anyahyacinth · 12/07/2026 21:15

There are huge concerns about men claiming consensual strangulation (during sex) when the women have been killed.

Don't ignore this ..there is nothing about it that's a joke

saraclara · 12/07/2026 21:15

I'm glad you recognise what you have to do. Please call Women's Aid, if you haven't already.

Luddite26 · 12/07/2026 21:18

istherereallytimeforallthat · 12/07/2026 21:00

Please - this is serious.

Call 999 and tell the police he wrapped a ligature around your neck and pulled it tight, and pretended to strangle you. Tell them he laughed at you. Tell them he is at work and you are afraid for your safety and that of your children when he comes home. Do exactly what the police tell you to do.

@Tim3toputmys3lffirst this is what you need to do. And tonight. Protect yourself and your kids.💐

DandelionsMakeMeSmile · 12/07/2026 21:19

Sorry you are in this situation. How old are your children? Do you have any family members you can rely on?
Agree that calling women’s aid might be helpful to you. You’re not alone.

QuarryQueen · 12/07/2026 21:19

This is him testing you to see how much control he has over you and how far he can go. RUN.

CeffylCoch · 12/07/2026 21:19

Please get away from this man. Trust your gut

AgathaX · 12/07/2026 21:20

Fucking hell, this is sinister. You know you need to leave. Please do it quickly and safely.

BiteSizeByzantine · 12/07/2026 21:21

This was a test. You tolerate it he'll do it again and it'll always be a joke, you're overreacting etc. It'll get worse.