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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does size really matter problem

118 replies

thorninrose · 06/06/2008 02:57

hi girls, my partner thinks his manhood is small and thinks he should have an enlargment even though i tell him it is fine. I did see the great british body the other night and they said the average was between 6 and 7". To me that sounds huge so am i missing out on something or should i not worry about his size.

OP posts:
Seashell71 · 06/06/2008 03:07

The point is: does he satisfy you? If the answer is yes then you're not missing out!

thorninrose · 06/06/2008 03:11

Only when he is on top and after lots of foreplay he does, no other positions work for me.

OP posts:
Alexa808 · 06/06/2008 06:34

Thickness matters more than length IME

Seriously, the man has hands and a tongue, yes? Just having a cock doesn't make for a good love life. Or how would lesbians have fun?

I've had partners in a few shapes and sizes but it's the ones that get under your skin mentally which were good lays. How about you on top? That should make for maximum penetration and friction.

NotQuiteCockney · 06/06/2008 07:44

I think you get used to a penis and adjust to it, so size doesn't make that much difference long term.

And, by the way, I'm pretty sure none of the enlargement methods available work. What is he contemplating having done? Or is he just after reassurance?

thorninrose · 07/06/2008 00:29

like i said the only position that works for me is him on top after lots of foreplay first, the other positions do nothing for me which could be down to the size of him as i just cant feel a thing, espec when doing it from behind. As for the enlargement im sure he want it longer and more girth.

OP posts:
bethoo · 07/06/2008 00:33

have you tried the position with your legs up high akmost behind your head iykwim as that is deep concentration.
average sixe is actually 5 inches i heard.

eenybeeny · 07/06/2008 00:33

I dont think you can actually enlarge a penis??? I think that is just a money making thing tbh.

You sound like you arent totally satisfied sexually - I mean if you were then I would say no problem there. If you arent you need to just work on it I guess if you love him!

bethoo · 07/06/2008 00:34

having an enlargement is not all it seems. it makes it look bigger but i think it can affect a mans performace adn feelings.

eenybeeny · 07/06/2008 00:41

wow bethoo have you (ahem) been with an enlarged penis?? What is it like? How do they do it?

DirtySexyMummy · 07/06/2008 01:05

What other positions have you tried?

Him on top cannot be the most satisfying for you - unless you have your legs bent right back. Otherwise he can't get in as deep as say, you on top. Particularly if you do reverse cowgirl. Thats probably one of the deepest you could do.

Actual surgical enlargements do work to the degree that they will physically make the penis bigger. However, the chance of nerve damage is quite high, and this will mean the man can lose feeling.

From what I have heard, and believe, almost all non-surgical enlargement techniques won't work.

6" is not huge, 7" would be quite large, definitely above average, IME anyway (and i've seen a fair few )

thorninrose · 07/06/2008 01:23

From what they said on the programme was that 6 to 7" was the british average size so that puts my partner below average which started this all over again.

OP posts:
S1ur · 07/06/2008 01:44

Point is. Do you orgasm?

DirtySexyMummy · 07/06/2008 01:47

thorn - even if 6 to 7 inches is the British average, then that means at least half the men in Britain are less than that.

Certainly, I would consider 7" really rather large.

S1ur · 07/06/2008 01:48

Ok more points.

Why does he feel he needs enlargement? Have you ever albeit unwittingy, let him know it isn't enough?

I would suggest other positions and variations, oral etc.

How small are we talking? if he is satisfying you then why is he concerned do you think? Is he comparing presently or comparing from childhood? Both can be adressed without surgery imo.

S1ur · 07/06/2008 01:49

Funky tis what ya do with after all

solo · 07/06/2008 02:14

Size does help IME. Exh was small and just didn't do it for me. ExP was big and did! If you can't feel it in there, then there is something missing.
Exh has re married this year though, so perhaps he's had an enlargement - he was talking about it when we were together

thorninrose · 07/06/2008 02:29

he is just under 5" and not very wide at all, i only orgasm after we had foreplay first and him on top as cant feel him in other positions.

OP posts:
solo · 07/06/2008 09:41

5" is better than 4"...IME, if you truly love someone, it matters not!

lisasimpson · 07/06/2008 10:11

I really think it does matter. The one relationship where my partner did have a smaller one it was quite frankly rubbish. I couldn't feel a thing and some positons were limited as it just couldn't 'reach'. Finding a compatible partner (and someone who can satisfy you) is difficult enough without this added complication imo!

piratecat · 07/06/2008 10:19

my ex's was average, but then i had a baby and i became bigger than average, which made him seem smaller.

Yet our sex life was better after. I guess bigger is better for some women, it's all down to technique tho. I dated a guy after me and dh split who had a much smaller penis, but hell he was bloody good at it.

Maybe theres a need to work on his technique, and you need to encourage him, so that he doesn't have to resort to surgery.

Wuxiapian · 07/06/2008 10:25

I find size definitely matters.

My best lover was about 7 and 1/2" and quite thick. Felt fantastic and always brought me to the big O each and every time very quickly.

Smaller partners just don't cut it. Lack of sensation and left with that feeling that you'd wished you hadn't bothered.

piratecat · 07/06/2008 11:16

hmm, i would agree that smaller ones don't cut it if the technique isn'[t great. The guy I met with the small one must have been a one off then?

I was in shock, at the things he could do with it lol.

Or perhaps my ex dh was rubbish?

joash · 07/06/2008 11:42

I agree that size does matter, the UK average is 6-7 inches, but if a person has never had anything to compare to, how would they know any difference? Surelty it's only when you get to have a bigger one, that you realise what you've been missing out on.

Anyway if the OP is happy, then I can't see what the problem is?

girlnextdoor · 07/06/2008 11:59

I'm going to start a new bit on this topic- myth has it that most orgasms are clitoral not vaginal, in which case size doesn't matter.

as someone who has never had a vaginal orgasm what are you thoughts on this?

RainyWednesday · 07/06/2008 12:04

Him on top works for me because it's about pressure on my clit, not depth of penetration.