Online dating profile icks (lightheartedish)

[FleetwoodCam]

After divorcing about 5 years ago, I've met a couple of guys through OLD but neither worked out for different reasons. Also had a few perfectly pleasant dates that went no further (my choice).
Having been back on the apps for a couple of weeks, I'm finding more and more reasons to swipe left instantly. I know I might be ruling out great guys but seriously, why can they not put together a decent profile?
My current list of instant left swipes is as below -

ENM
Fish pictures (becoming less common)
Posing by someone elses expensive car
Mentioning they are good with their hands, mouth whatever.
The "I love my little princess and she comes first" brigade.
Comments like "drama free and want to stay that way" reads like they won't be supportive for issues you face.
Topless pics out of context (Beach maybe okay, bedroom mirror selfie NO!)
No punctuation
Aggressive don't match if you.... a,b,c d comments
First pic a large group of bro's (he's the ugly one, always)
Bios starting with "never know what to write here"
Lying about age with the obligatory "actually 52 but can't change it" comment.
If I see one more profile stating they are the kind of guy who will hold the door for you, but slap you're ass as you walk through, I might vomit.

Anyway really just letting out frustrations! Tell me your profile icks so I can take them on as my own and give up the whole business 😂

Instant swipe left:

• I'm semi pro MMA/golfer
• Please don't match with me if you are not going to be honest, I've been hurt
• Black tie pics. If you are taking a photo, you are not used to black tie events and look as though you are dressing up.
• Profile pic of car/ bike/dog. I would prefer to date a man.
• Any mention of sex
• Any bad mouthing exes
• Group photos. I'm not psychic
• Unemployed

Oh, and pictures with their mum.

So if you happened to be 43, unfortunately back on the dating scene, what would make you swipe right?
Asking for a friend...

@OptimisticFather

• More than one photo
• Single shot where your are fully clothed and not holding beer, a bike, another woman, child and ideally smiling.
• Info in your bio. A para that doesn't include "Looking for my partner in crime".

That's it really. Ooh, and SPAG errors are major turn offs.

People who want to do something else other than a "walk and a roast" on a Sunday.

Yep as @YesterdaysFuture and @LadyBrendaLast proof read, have non blurry photos where it is clear who you are and you're not smoking or drinking.

Don't post pics of any kids (shows poor boundaries)

Have a hobby that doesn't boil down to just eating/drinking/moving.

From my perspective (depends on the person) stating you want a relationship, and not using the phrases

"See where it goes"

"Bonus points if"

Or any instruction to do anything!

And if you do get matches don’t send any the following messages

Hi/hey/hello
👋
Hey sexy
You look naughty (or even worse nawty)
Cracking tits love
Do you do anal?
Do you own your own home?

Believe it or not I’ve had all of those and worse 😂

I sometimes find it hard to think what to say (on the rare occasion I get a match) but I can say for certain those lines are not in my repertoire!
Does the person sending them actually think it will work?

@OptimisticFather this kind of filthy comment is not unusual for women to experience. This is our reality. Welcome to your glimpse

That makes me a little sad if I'm honest, and would like to apologise on behalf of all the nice, respectful men. Just no need for those kinds of messages!

@OptimisticFather come on over to the dating thread if you're wading in the primordial mire of OLD.

Not me, but a friend received a couple of friendly messages. The usual work/kids/hobbies stuff.
3rd message "I like to eat from the back, will you spread those juicy cheeks?" 🤮.
Especially since they'd just been discussing under 8's football

Please don’t use the word “mong” @CallmePaul🫣

So, holding a great big fish is OK?

this was my husabnd and it broke me. and the inrony is that having to pretend to be happy all the time contributed to me having psychosis and now im never happy even fro one second becasue my mind is out of control.

420 friendly
ENM
'Age is wrong, cant change it'
Pictures with kids not shaded out
'No drama'
Too many pics/ref to drinking
Separated/going through divorce
Anyone wanting someone into fitness (when they clearly arent)
'No pot noodle families'

As a married man i do find all of this very amusing and feel sorry of you all hwho are OLD, with what crap you have to out up with.

It would be interesting to see the perspective from the otherside, in that there must be some right dodgy online dating bios from women.

Men often won't know - they don't always read the profiles.

Scared to ask about pot noodle families

Yep. I put a line in my profile to see if they actually read it - 99% of them absolutely didn’t.

Tbh I think a lot of men just swipe the main photo without looking any further

@Nosdacariad pot noodle families refer to the idea that you 'add a man and you get a complete family ie men who dont want to date single parents thinking they just want a substitute dad. Its a very cruel way of putting it.

Swipe first, ask questions later is a trend that's been caused by the apps and the culture of OLD. Low rate of likes for men leads to low effort, and the paid options promote it by allowing for unlimited likes in a day.

I just find the whole OLD have sown their own seeds of destruction, by having no interest in changing behaviours and no interest in improving the experience for both sexes on the app.

The blokes on Tinder in the office would swipe right on everyone without even looking at the photos and then filter based on who matched with them

W