To have the ick really badly?

[Frazzledcatmama]

I have left him now but a couple of things my ex of several years used to do and I don’t know why I stayed are…

at night after using the bathroom he would shuffle out with his jeans and belt round his ankles and walk to the bedroom like that. It was hideous.

regularly when we were chilling on the sofa he would just have his hand down his trousers the whole time. Presumably adjusting himself / for comfort. One time he kept asking me to touch him over and over, which felt really unhygienic considering we were on the sofa and was just a mood killer (“touch me, touch me”). He wanted to us to mutually touch each other while watching bloody documentaries in the living room. It felt so devoid of passion.

when I left him he was bitter and angry and said that we weren’t sleeping together anyway. I had to tell him that I’d been unhappy for a while (which he knew!) and obviously didn’t want to have sex with someone I was constantly arguing with so it was a consequence rather than a cause. He didn’t really seem to get this.

and breathe! Anyone have any hideousness to add?

Don't really see a major issue with either of those but I'm glad you've told us.

Thankyou.

Really?

The trousers thing is odd but I see nothing wrong with indulging in some mutual touching on the sofa

Sounds like the split was for the best, then. I think back on past relationships from time to time and wonder what on earth I was thinking, but I don't think there's much to be gained from dwelling, unless it's in the spirit of making sure you don't end up in that same position again.

I see the problem! And I would have been disgusted too.

Depends on the documentary, surely?

The mental image I have of him is Rab C Nesbitt.

Repulsive.

I mean lets be honest, if either of these gave you the 'ick ' then you couldn't have loved/liked him that much anyway.

I can't think of a time DH and i haven't fondled or touched either other on the sofa, what we are watching is irrelevant., it happens 90% of the time. Sometimes it leads to full blown mind boggling sex, other times its just nice and sensual.

The trousers round the ankles? I personally have no issues , as long as he isn't still dripping. Pretty sure I've done it before and DH regularly does it as we have an En-Suite to our bedroom.

tbf there would be certain tv genres which would be a hard no ( no pun intended ) to any form of sexual activity!

Urgh. Just sitting on the sofa fondling each other like monkeys? No thanks. That would have given me the ick too.

The shuffling with the pants down around his ankles would turn me right off. Yuck.

And some affectionate touching while sitting on the sofa is fine, but my ex was a sex pest and was always groping me. He never touched me non sexually unless he was poking me or teasing me. So unattractive.

It'd be hard to take to an adult male who did that seriously . It makes me think of a toddler who's being potty trained.

Very true!

The hand down the trousers, fiddling with himself, puts me in mind of a toddler, who is unaware that it isn't the done thing. If my DH started doing that, I'd slap his hand.

Yes so toddler like!

im surprised by the comments saying I couldn’t have liked him that much anyway. There were obviously deeper issues but I did love him for a long time but was completely put off by a lot of behaviours.

Sorry, but the waddling out of the bathroom had made me laugh.

Men who constantly need to have their hand down their pants, need a swift tap with a ruler. Otherwise, they’ll do it in front of someone important one day.

OP this has given me the ick and i don't even know the bloke. Well done for getting rid of him.

Both of those are undignified and immature YANBU.

I see the ick. My nose was wrinkled in disgust reading OPs post.

God that made me laugh 😂

Personally I’m with you OP. I’m very easily turned off anyway but his hand down his trousers would definitely not be doing it for me (I’d also imagine him popping to the kitchen and touching food without washing his hands first). The trousers round the ankles would make me roll my eyes too. As a pp said, it just conjures up Rab C Nesbitt too much for my liking.

im surprised by the comments saying I couldn’t have liked him that much anyway. There were obviously deeper issues but I did love him for a long time but was completely put off by a lot of behaviours

I get this completely. I was utterly and completely in love with my ex husband when we first got together. Unfortunately years of behaviour like this (and some!) gave me the ick and beyond.
I couldn't get past it. I don't know if you can, once it's got to that stage.

My ex used to make lip smacking ‘yummy’ noises whenever he was eating. It was initially something I sort of got used too and descended into something I wanted to kill him for. So I get it

Well excuse me, I'm not touching no scrotum while Sir David Attenborough narrates about Life in the Arctic!

It was finding a skid mark on a towel that did it for me. Like, seriously, you don't how to wash your own arse properly at nearly 40. I was out not long after.

Oh, mate. It's astonishing how many women I know with stories like that. What is going on with men and their arses?!