To have the ick really badly?

[Frazzledcatmama]

I have left him now but a couple of things my ex of several years used to do and I don’t know why I stayed are…

at night after using the bathroom he would shuffle out with his jeans and belt round his ankles and walk to the bedroom like that. It was hideous.

regularly when we were chilling on the sofa he would just have his hand down his trousers the whole time. Presumably adjusting himself / for comfort. One time he kept asking me to touch him over and over, which felt really unhygienic considering we were on the sofa and was just a mood killer (“touch me, touch me”). He wanted to us to mutually touch each other while watching bloody documentaries in the living room. It felt so devoid of passion.

when I left him he was bitter and angry and said that we weren’t sleeping together anyway. I had to tell him that I’d been unhappy for a while (which he knew!) and obviously didn’t want to have sex with someone I was constantly arguing with so it was a consequence rather than a cause. He didn’t really seem to get this.

and breathe! Anyone have any hideousness to add?

My friend's ex used to wank into his socks and leave them in the laundry basket and skid mark underpants too. He came into the bathroom to have a dump while she was soaking in the bath and brought a fishing magazine to read. They had a downstairs toilet too.

After being made to launder step-father's shitty pants as a child (see my previous post) I've always been very clear that hygiene is a non-negotiable in relationships. My current partner has a handle on his own arse admin (and does his own laundry anyway for the most part). I like to think he's not all that rare in this regard. It must be so hard to maintain a satisfying sexual relationship otherwise.

WTF?

Another pearl clutch? It's a recognised thing

Yep.. WTF.. 😂

Okay I'll bite. Why WTF?

Obelix

Omg I am shaking with laughter. What an absolute load of weirdos there are out there!
Jesus. Holding it sat on the sofa as a comfort blanket?! Wtf indeed!

It's just so strange, but each to their own.

It's like the equivalent of sucking their thumb. A very infantile way of self soothing.

I've never personally felt the need to caress my beetle bonnet while watching Corrie. I don't know why grown men get a free pass to just fondle their dicks constantly, as if it's not a gross thing to do.

It’s filthy and infantile to hold your Willy just for kicks. Not necessary and would definitely give me the ick.

My 9 year old and 13 year old sons don’t do it. Nor does DH. Standards are indeed important.

Yes I'm with you OP and others who would find the trousers round the ankles and 'touch me' demand very icky and immature. The trousers thing just screams laziness - I bet he was lazy in other ways too. And sexy canoodling on the sofa is one thing, but basically asking to be wanked off is just disgusting teenage behaviour.

This and another thread have really got me thinking about behaviour. When we start out with a new partner, we tend to think everything they say and do is fantastic- we might notice the odd irritation, but we put it down to everyone having foibles.

Then after about 2 years (it's always about 2 years for some reason!!) we start to move into a more mundane stage of the relationship. The sex isn't new anymore. We don't dress up for the other person all the time. Conversation becomes centred on what to have for dinner. And their (and probably our) 'foibles' start to become deeply irritating to the point of causing the ick.

Then there are three options for what happens next - 1. break up or 2. work out how to put up with the irritations in a way that allows the relationship to continue happily. Or, 3, and I think this is common and a big part of the problem with modern relationships, stay together but allow the irritations to fester, slowly going off each other but continuing to live/ be together and 'manage' it despite the relationship deteriorating. Eventually one or other will probably either have an affair or become abusive. And both will ultimately be damaged more and more the longer the relationship goes on.

Or is that just my experience?

Filthy and infantile is spot on.

Oh my gosh I am the same. My husband is looking at me like I am mad!

He sounds like a needy whiny moron!

I may hold DH's penis later - only if it is convenient though...

@FreshOutOfFucks Exactly, then putting their stinky ball hands everywhere 🤢 imagine putting our vaginal juices on everything. because I very much doubt they wash their hands after every fondle.

@OchreHedgehog I totally agree- I've been married twice, lived with someone in between for 3 years-I've always gone off sex at the 2 to 3 year point if I'm honest - and got to number 3 within about 8 years- ( although I've been married 29 this time) I actually like relationships- I'm just not fussed about sex and am not a touchy feely person

Is it just inevitable then that humans go off each other after a while. And it's just those who can bear their other half and find maintenance sex bearable that maintain long term relationships happily?

urggggggggg! disgusting. I remember a bride saying her husband wore a kilt to their wedding. He sat on her knee and she had a skid mark on the white wedding dress when he got up. I would have divorced him immediately.

@missdeamenor that can't be true surely?! How gross and embarrassing!!

@peachystormy mens/ capacity to be revolting is limitless.

Arghhhh stinky ball hands hahahahhaaha
How fucking gross
They can be such animals sometimes can't they 😂

I am so glad my DP doesn't leave skid marks in his boxers!

He's a keeper!