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Original poster

To have the ick really badly?

112 replies

Frazzledcatmama · 02/01/2025 13:48

I have left him now but a couple of things my ex of several years used to do and I don’t know why I stayed are…

at night after using the bathroom he would shuffle out with his jeans and belt round his ankles and walk to the bedroom like that. It was hideous.

regularly when we were chilling on the sofa he would just have his hand down his trousers the whole time. Presumably adjusting himself / for comfort. One time he kept asking me to touch him over and over, which felt really unhygienic considering we were on the sofa and was just a mood killer (“touch me, touch me”). He wanted to us to mutually touch each other while watching bloody documentaries in the living room. It felt so devoid of passion.

when I left him he was bitter and angry and said that we weren’t sleeping together anyway. I had to tell him that I’d been unhappy for a while (which he knew!) and obviously didn’t want to have sex with someone I was constantly arguing with so it was a consequence rather than a cause. He didn’t really seem to get this.

and breathe! Anyone have any hideousness to add?

OP posts:
ClassicStripe · 03/01/2025 11:07

Uglyandsad · 02/01/2025 14:30

I mean lets be honest, if either of these gave you the 'ick ' then you couldn't have loved/liked him that much anyway.

I can't think of a time DH and i haven't fondled or touched either other on the sofa, what we are watching is irrelevant., it happens 90% of the time. Sometimes it leads to full blown mind boggling sex, other times its just nice and sensual.

The trousers round the ankles? I personally have no issues , as long as he isn't still dripping. Pretty sure I've done it before and DH regularly does it as we have an En-Suite to our bedroom.

90% of the time you sit on the sofa with DH it results in a sex act? That must be exhausting!

WhatToWrite · 03/01/2025 11:08

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 10:25

Lots of men like to hold themselves while lying on the couch. My DH likes me to hold him occasionally but it's not convenient for me as I like to have my hands free to use my kindle or iPad. It's nothing sinister is it? I thought it was some primitive comfort thing

You what now?

WhatToWrite · 03/01/2025 11:11

Uglyandsad · 02/01/2025 14:30

I mean lets be honest, if either of these gave you the 'ick ' then you couldn't have loved/liked him that much anyway.

I can't think of a time DH and i haven't fondled or touched either other on the sofa, what we are watching is irrelevant., it happens 90% of the time. Sometimes it leads to full blown mind boggling sex, other times its just nice and sensual.

The trousers round the ankles? I personally have no issues , as long as he isn't still dripping. Pretty sure I've done it before and DH regularly does it as we have an En-Suite to our bedroom.

I honestly cannot imagine this. I'd never go near the sofa if I thought I was gonna be fondled the whole time. How do you concentrate on the TV? My mind is boggling.

My 3 year old DD does the pants round the ankles hopping thing after the toilet. If a grown man did it I wouldn't be impressed.

peachystormy · 03/01/2025 11:56

Uglyandsad · 02/01/2025 13:52

Don't really see a major issue with either of those but I'm glad you've told us.

Thankyou.

🤣🤣

BrightSnail · 03/01/2025 11:59

I find most crime dramas confusing enough without all that palaver.

Madamegreen · 03/01/2025 12:06

ClassicStripe · 03/01/2025 11:07

90% of the time you sit on the sofa with DH it results in a sex act? That must be exhausting!

Show quote history

We quite like having sex whilst relaxing on the sofa. Obviously, it's not common on Mumsnet...

BrightSnail · 03/01/2025 12:12

@Madamegreen I mean, the concept is by no means foreign to me, but don't you ever just want to cuddle up and watch telly? Each to their own, of course, but for me I think 90% of the time would be a bit irritating.

JustCrow · 03/01/2025 12:14

I mean, I may have been guilty of shuffling to the bedroom with my jeans round my ankles if I’m about to take them off anyway 😳

Madamegreen · 03/01/2025 12:20

BrightSnail · 03/01/2025 12:12

@Madamegreen I mean, the concept is by no means foreign to me, but don't you ever just want to cuddle up and watch telly? Each to their own, of course, but for me I think 90% of the time would be a bit irritating.

Of course, there's cuddling, however, we don't have an invisible consent form to submit to one another to have sexual intimacy wherever we are (Within reason). There are no barriers.

BrightSnail · 03/01/2025 12:32

@Madamegreen Oh I can totally see letting things develop into sex naturally. Absolutely up for that. That's not what I'm confused about. I just feel like if my partner and I had some kind of sexual intimacy 90% of the time we sat on the sofa he would, not unreasonably, see my sitting on the sofa as a sexual invitation and I'd never get a moment's peace. I would say that, about 60% of the time, when I sit on the sofa, it's because I really do just want a sit on the sofa rather than to have sex.

But none of this matters really, does it? It works for you, and it sounds like you're really into each other which has to be a good sign!

lemonchops111 · 03/01/2025 13:16

I’m laughing like a hyena here… this thread is hilarious 🤣 🤣🤣
keep um coming

OpalMaker · 03/01/2025 13:22

Frazzledcatmama · 02/01/2025 13:54

Really?

We had full blown sex on the sofa the other day, which started out as touching. We’d been watching Gavin & Stacey.

Abracadabra12345 · 03/01/2025 13:25

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 10:25

Lots of men like to hold themselves while lying on the couch. My DH likes me to hold him occasionally but it's not convenient for me as I like to have my hands free to use my kindle or iPad. It's nothing sinister is it? I thought it was some primitive comfort thing

Never known at man who does that

BrightSnail · 03/01/2025 13:27

Blimey. I'm a real trooper but I don't think I could become inveigled while James Corden's on the screen.

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:30

You've never known a man to have his hands down his trousers unconsciously? It's a recognised thing that men do, like they're reassuring themselves it's still there.

Go ahead tell me I must associate with deviants. It's okay

lemonchops111 · 03/01/2025 13:32

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:30

You've never known a man to have his hands down his trousers unconsciously? It's a recognised thing that men do, like they're reassuring themselves it's still there.

Go ahead tell me I must associate with deviants. It's okay

yep… supposedly a ‘comfort’ awww
like a little blankie but for adult males 🤣

BrightSnail · 03/01/2025 13:33

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:30

You've never known a man to have his hands down his trousers unconsciously? It's a recognised thing that men do, like they're reassuring themselves it's still there.

Go ahead tell me I must associate with deviants. It's okay

I don't think it's deviant, necessarily. My partner sometimes sleeps like that. Fully conscious on the sofa in front of others might give me pause, though. Who knows. I'd sooner he did that than that I had to chisel shit out of his pants to wash them, honestly.

YellowRoom · 03/01/2025 13:34

Uglyandsad · 02/01/2025 14:30

I mean lets be honest, if either of these gave you the 'ick ' then you couldn't have loved/liked him that much anyway.

I can't think of a time DH and i haven't fondled or touched either other on the sofa, what we are watching is irrelevant., it happens 90% of the time. Sometimes it leads to full blown mind boggling sex, other times its just nice and sensual.

The trousers round the ankles? I personally have no issues , as long as he isn't still dripping. Pretty sure I've done it before and DH regularly does it as we have an En-Suite to our bedroom.

'The trousers round the ankles? I personally have no issues , as long as he isn't still dripping.'

It is indeed important to have standards.

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:34

@lemonchops111 glad I'm not alone in this there's been some pearl clutching today

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:35

@BrightSnail if he was doing it in company then I'd have to stage an intervention certainly

lemonchops111 · 03/01/2025 13:38

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:34

@lemonchops111 glad I'm not alone in this there's been some pearl clutching today

@ohyesido
this is serious tena lady territory… i’m loving it… and the ‘rather that than chisel shit out his pants’ comment sent me over the edge 🤣

roxyro · 03/01/2025 13:41

Oh my the skid marks. There is something about men and getting shit everywhere. No idea why.
OP I would find the behaviour you mention seriously off putting too so no wonder you had the ick.

My ex used to love junk food. He’d eat a packet of biscuits for his dinner when at work and lived on takeaways, maccyd’s etc. He used to buy those large party tubs of Haribo sweets and sit in bed eating them. I seriously couldn’t stand the sight of him by the end - lasted 2 years. His skin was awful. Just yuck!!

WhatToWrite · 03/01/2025 13:42

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:30

You've never known a man to have his hands down his trousers unconsciously? It's a recognised thing that men do, like they're reassuring themselves it's still there.

Go ahead tell me I must associate with deviants. It's okay

Over the age of about 8, no. Absolutely not. I don't think it's pearly clutchy to think a grown man doesn't need to hold his penis (or ask his partner to) while he's sitting watching TV.

ohyesido · 03/01/2025 13:42

Can safely say I've not had to confront skid marks in 15 years of marriage. I think my libido would never return

Lavenderandbrown · 03/01/2025 13:53

Skid marks are grotesque to me… who do they think is going to clean it up? Near constant masturbation while sitting and watching tv… find that gross too get your hands out of your pants. My friend got the ick while on a conference in a lovely ski town when her BF instead of walking the town or skiing or doing something sat in the room watching tv and ate an entire jumbo bag (family sized party sized plus) of peanut m&ms. And when she described it I knew exactly what she meant