To have the ick really badly?

[Frazzledcatmama]

I have left him now but a couple of things my ex of several years used to do and I don’t know why I stayed are…

at night after using the bathroom he would shuffle out with his jeans and belt round his ankles and walk to the bedroom like that. It was hideous.

regularly when we were chilling on the sofa he would just have his hand down his trousers the whole time. Presumably adjusting himself / for comfort. One time he kept asking me to touch him over and over, which felt really unhygienic considering we were on the sofa and was just a mood killer (“touch me, touch me”). He wanted to us to mutually touch each other while watching bloody documentaries in the living room. It felt so devoid of passion.

when I left him he was bitter and angry and said that we weren’t sleeping together anyway. I had to tell him that I’d been unhappy for a while (which he knew!) and obviously didn’t want to have sex with someone I was constantly arguing with so it was a consequence rather than a cause. He didn’t really seem to get this.

and breathe! Anyone have any hideousness to add?

Crikey....
this feed as opened a can of worms for my icks!!

I've been with partner 4 years today!! 😖
And I have a long list of icks!!

1. Yes... hands down pants constantly while watching tv.

2. Picking nose (for 20 mins at a time & rolling & flicking in the air, whatever he pulls from it!)

3. Eating shit (giant easter eggs every night, chocolate mini rolls x4 -6 a night) huge bowl (using a mixing bowl 🥣 probably at least 4 portions of cereal in one sitting & pours tubs of sugar on top) bags of crisps & cheese rolls x4)!! Add in the horrendous noises while eating drives me insane!) (he's gained 3-4 stone & has a massive distended stomach that looks like a full term pregnancy 🫃

4. He lounges in the same mismatched joggers & hoodie every single night!! (He will wash them regularly but still insists on wearing urghhh the same grotty clothing!

5. He will masturbate 5 out of 7 nights!! & gets upset if I don't rub his leg!! While he relieves himself!! 🤦🏽‍♀️🫣😖🥴

Just a few to name!!

Erm and you're still with him why?

My ex used to have a shower and instead of drying themselves off with a towel they would get into bed dripping wet, used to make the bed all nasty and damp smelling.

the worst one though - and I apologise in advance for the nature of this, he had a fantasy that I would have sex with a stranger, one night he ordered a Chinese and he went into a massive spiel of how he wanted me to invite the delivery man in and offer him sex, even to the point he was telling me where to stand and what to wear when I answered the door, like he wanted me to rehearse and then bloody do it🙃

When I refused he had a massive sulk (he sulked a lot) wtf was I doing with him I still ask myself 8 years on.

@FlorenceB19
WOW you deserve a medal or even the Victoria Cross for bravery putting up with that lot 🤮

That's shocking and a little bit funny at the same time. What a weirdo! Sulking over you not wanting to shag the takeaway driver 🤣🤣🤣

I remember a chef who kept putting his hands down his trousers, adjusting his todger and then handling food without washing his hands. Stinky balls and skid marks are just the grossest thing on earth. I would bring back the death sentence for these horrible people.

All together now - urgggggggg, double urggggggg.

Euwww. Are you going to make it 4 years and a week?

He flings boogers around the house?? 😳

That alone would have had me out of there the first time he did that.

Just no. Ffs.

Tbh.... I really don't know what to do???

Obvs I love him but I'm not in love with him nor have I ever been in love with him!!
& sadly those icks are a daily occurrence and I struggle to build intimacy/chemistry towards him!

Tonight was no exception... & he sulked & slept on the sofa!! Because I wouldn't stop playing a game on my phone to so say cuddle him the minute he got into bed & grabbed his old man to masturbate himself! 😖 (His response is I can't believe your game is more important than giving me a cuddle!) 😱

The biggest issue I have on breaking up is the fact that 11 months into the relationship (that I felt pressured & never really wanted in the 1st place that's another story!!)) he suffered a stroke & almost didn't survive! Thankfully he did & after months of rehab etc he relearnt to walk, talk & eat etc! But he does have deficits (droopy face, different speech tones, some hearing loss & some coordination issues)..... I felt trapped after his stroke & also feared loosing him)

Another major ick is his impatience & angry outbursts of frustration since the stroke 3 years ago! These are mainly aimed at himself but he used to be so kind & patient but now those qualities are a distant memory!!

The truth is I don't want to hurt or reject him, but his behaviours & my behaviour/responses towards him no doubt is hurting him more! 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

Oh God just get rid of him you deserve a better life.

I don't want to derail OPs thread, but this is no life for you. You sound like you are only there out of duty.

Could I suggest you start a new thread and then you could get specific to your situation advice. 💐

@OchreHedgehog unfortunately I think there is an element of truth in that for most - although you do admittedly get some that are still wild about each other sexually after 10 years- my sex drive has just never been like that no matter how much I liked anyone

I've never known a man who doesn't lol