Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Things you actually can’t believe your (ex) partner did…

116 replies

Evian43 · 16/12/2024 11:01

I know some people have real horrible relationships but on the lesser side of horrible, here are some things that I can’t believe now looking back my ex wife did regularly-

  • only washed her own clothes. Didn’t wash the children’s or mine with hers (but then didnt do a separate wash even if the kids clothes)
  • clean her side of the bedroom only. Said she didn’t think to clean the other side as it’s ‘my’ side
  • stop at the shop on the way home and get herself a few nice treats. Didn’t get me or kids anything or ask if we needed anything for the house/family
OP posts:
healthybychristmas · 16/12/2024 11:04

She sounds very selfish and self absorbed. Who ended the relationship?

niadainud · 16/12/2024 11:04

Ghosted me on a major birthday.
Lied about his grandfather dying because he changed his mind about going on holiday with me.
Didn't tell me he lived with a flatmate.
Bought another woman a drink in a bar when he knew I wanted to leave.
Didn't tell me he had a child.

Men are shits.

Original poster
Evian43 · 16/12/2024 11:08

healthybychristmas · 16/12/2024 11:04

She sounds very selfish and self absorbed. Who ended the relationship?

Yeah she is.
she did in the end for her affair partner

OP posts:
strugglinguphill · 16/12/2024 11:22

Pissed in the kitchen sink as I was taking too long in the bathroom! One of the many reasons he is now an ex!

Snapespeare · 16/12/2024 11:23

(1st ex)
-Got shitfaced the day after my due date so I had to drive myself to hospital when my waters had broken.
-sawed the leg off of a wooden chair I'd inherited from my grandfather for kindling.

(2nd ex)
-gave me £20 for DVDs for a significant birthday.
(3rd ex)
-refused to go to Amsterdam for significant birthday as he 'didn't like Van Gogh'
-ghosted me during lockdown after an eight year relationship.

exes are exes for a reason.

Spooky2000 · 16/12/2024 17:14

I'm here with heavy hitting:

Had me arrested TWICE for made up allegations against me
Beat me black and blue
Financially freeloaded off me
Bounced between me and another woman for 18 months

Yet still sings around the town where I live and charms the women into thinking what a 'victim' he is to have all these 'nasty ex's' ... I loathe him. Don't know what the heck I saw in him.

DearDeadrie · 16/12/2024 17:23

Had sex with my mum
Left me 9 months pregnant to go on a 3 week drinking binge
Got drunk with baby and got arrested while i was seriously ill in hospital
Pushed me into a wall while i was holding my baby
Stole all of my secret savings that i was going to use to get away from him
Their are loads more but i don't dwell on it as I'm now very happy.

Frostycottagegarden · 16/12/2024 18:27

Spent the entire 25 relationship telling me that he was only with me until he found someone better, and spent 25 years looking for someone else.

Spent 7 years telling me that he was in love with my best friend, and without her, his life wasn't worth living.

Actually, when I started therapy, I listed all the occasions when i would've told a best friend to leave. I stopped at 70 because I was overwhelmed. 70 chances.

shellyleppard · 16/12/2024 18:30

@DearDeadrie omg he slept with your mum??? What an absolute shit

stripypanda100 · 16/12/2024 18:31

healthybychristmas
She sounds very selfish and self absorbed. Who ended the relationship?

Yeah she is.
she did in the end for her affair partner

That sounds like the only 'nice ish' thing she done for you😔
God she sounds awful... who did or does the poor kids washing now then?

Doggymummar · 16/12/2024 18:33

Climbed out the window of my third floor flat and went to the pub in his boxers and a t shirt only as I had hidden his clothes and shoes as he was steaming drunk and I wanted him to sleep it off. I still married him. Silly bitch.

stripypanda100 · 16/12/2024 18:34

DearDeadrie · 16/12/2024 17:23

Had sex with my mum
Left me 9 months pregnant to go on a 3 week drinking binge
Got drunk with baby and got arrested while i was seriously ill in hospital
Pushed me into a wall while i was holding my baby
Stole all of my secret savings that i was going to use to get away from him
Their are loads more but i don't dwell on it as I'm now very happy.

😳thank god u escaped .... glad u r now doing well

itsallbowlsbaby · 16/12/2024 18:34

Mine sounds so minor compared to everyone else's but in the middle of winter when I'd got caught walking home in the rain and was freezing cold, I wanted a bath to warm up (the shower was broken). He said I'd be wasting water and I was having too many baths so he HID THE BATH PLUG!!!

ABunchOfBadBitches · 16/12/2024 18:35
  • only washed her own clothes. Didn’t wash the children’s or mine with hers (but then didnt do a separate wash even if the kids clothes)

That sounds like me tbh😅 I grew up in a household where everyone did their own washing and clothes were never mixed with someone else’s. My ex never understood why I wouldn’t wash his clothes with mine but I just didn’t like the thought of it!! I even wash my kids clothes separately from mine

shellyleppard · 16/12/2024 18:36

My ex husband burned my wedding dress and clothes when I left him.....but I saw him months later wearing my t shirt 🤣

stripypanda100 · 16/12/2024 18:37

itsallbowlsbaby · 16/12/2024 18:34

Mine sounds so minor compared to everyone else's but in the middle of winter when I'd got caught walking home in the rain and was freezing cold, I wanted a bath to warm up (the shower was broken). He said I'd be wasting water and I was having too many baths so he HID THE BATH PLUG!!!

PRICK...I cannot believe these people are in relationships being so vile.... surely they can't think their behaviour is acceptable and that of a loving partner... 🤷‍♀️

BellsandWhistlesGalore · 16/12/2024 18:39

Drove me and our 4 month old round the city pretending to be lost as he didn't want to go to see his mother. Fucking knobhead

RuffledKestrel · 16/12/2024 18:43

One of the lesser but still infuriating traits of an ex of mine...
When I worked Flexi time at work, he complained if I was home late or left early for work. While also making jibes to friends/family if I was home before him or left after him in the morning for work. 🤷‍♀️ We both worked 37.5hr weeks.

Summed him up though... There is no pleasing some people no matter what you do!

SilverBlueRabbit · 16/12/2024 18:47

Punched me to the ground and broke my cheekbone because I cut up garlic in a way he did not approve of.

Broke my shoulder dragging me and kicking me to the scales because he caught me eating a jaffa cake and this disrespected him because at 8 stone I was supposed to be on a diet.

Smokesandeats · 16/12/2024 18:52

Went away for a weekend without telling me where he was and no way of contacting him. I was in bed with a high temperature, wheezy chest and no voice but somehow still expected to look after our very young children on my own. I promised myself I would divorce him as soon as I recovered and that’s exactly what I did!

Tillybud81 · 16/12/2024 19:04

Yours sounds like my ex, only washing he ever did was his own work clothes (I still washed his socks and undies), IF he ever deigned to go to the shops he bought all his favourite treats and never anything specifically for me, and well he just never cleaned lol.

Also never cooked, never made me a cuppa cos he didn't drink tea, never wanted to see my family, happily had sex knowing full well I didn't want to but couldn't be arsed with his moodiness. Fuck me writing this makes me sad

ElsaLion · 16/12/2024 19:05

An official ex (male friend), but one on whom I had become dependent for several years due to lacking the confidence to end the friendship:

  • Repeatedly lied and gave me the cold treatment, often for days on end and generally after I had said something he deliberately misinterpreted.
  • Described me as a mental case that he could experiment on, and enjoyed testing me to see the breakdowns he would cause.

-Finally culminating in him beating and strangling me one evening at my flat. I slapped and pushed him off in self defence. Neighbours called the police because they heard my screams...the police arrested me (because apparently a 'kind old man like him' could never hurt a woman. I was thrown into a police cell for 24 hours, without a coat or shoes, then had to walk 1.5 miles back to my flat without either in the middle of January, after they decided NFA).

CryptoFascist · 16/12/2024 19:30
  • Turned up on my birthday with no present or card (several exes. Apparently having a birthday in late January is unreasonable and can't possibly be planned for in advance).
  • Turned up on Valentines Day with no card or present, then told me all about the gifts he'd bought his girlfriend the year before. Then had the cheek to look surprised when I cried! I was 15 and he was my first proper boyfriend, this did a huge number on my self esteem.

And one that makes me laugh when I think about it:

  • Refused to style his hair when I pointed out it could do with a tidy-up - so walked around with ridiculous bedhead all day, out of stubbornness 😂
Tiegs · 16/12/2024 19:34

DearDeadrie · 16/12/2024 17:23

Had sex with my mum
Left me 9 months pregnant to go on a 3 week drinking binge
Got drunk with baby and got arrested while i was seriously ill in hospital
Pushed me into a wall while i was holding my baby
Stole all of my secret savings that i was going to use to get away from him
Their are loads more but i don't dwell on it as I'm now very happy.

That's horrible on both their parts can't believe he slept with your mum

Devilsmommy · 16/12/2024 19:37

SilverBlueRabbit · 16/12/2024 18:47

Punched me to the ground and broke my cheekbone because I cut up garlic in a way he did not approve of.

Broke my shoulder dragging me and kicking me to the scales because he caught me eating a jaffa cake and this disrespected him because at 8 stone I was supposed to be on a diet.

Utter cunt. Mine smashed a plate with a roast dinner on over my head because I said the gravy tasted funny🤨