Things you actually can’t believe your (ex) partner did…

[Evian43]

I know some people have real horrible relationships but on the lesser side of horrible, here are some things that I can’t believe now looking back my ex wife did regularly-

• only washed her own clothes. Didn’t wash the children’s or mine with hers (but then didnt do a separate wash even if the kids clothes)
• clean her side of the bedroom only. Said she didn’t think to clean the other side as it’s ‘my’ side
• stop at the shop on the way home and get herself a few nice treats. Didn’t get me or kids anything or ask if we needed anything for the house/family

My ex “Forgot” to tell his mum we’d split up until she texted me to say happy wedding anniversary 11 months later.

I still don’t know what excuses he made up for why I did go to their house for Christmas or a number of big events in between, he’d told me that he’d told them I just hadn’t realised quite how far his lies had gone. With hindsight I have no idea if anything he said to me in those ten years was true.

Once I’d told him that I phoned her back after the text he handed over the years worth of birthday and Christmas cards he’d carefully intercepted to make sure I hadn’t found out sooner…

Had an affair with his boss, but insisted that I was imagining things.

When I finally dumped him, he came round to get his stuff the next day, and announced that they were in a relationship together. Seemed completely thrown by me pointing out that this proved he'd lied to me about their relationship being work-only. Watching the realisation dawn when he twigged that he wasn't going to be able to convince me he'd magically developed feelings for her in the 22 hours since we'd split up, was actually quite funny.

He's a loose connection still in my extended circle of friends. So I know over the years he's cheated on every LTR and wife he's had. A nice enough bloke as a friend, but a shit partner as he's terminally incapable of ending a relationship before starting up with someone else.

@DearDeadrie had sex with your mum?! I'm sorry, I need more context than that. As in, your birth mother who raised you, slept with your boyfriend?! How did you find out and do you still have a relationship with her?

My ex H 30 years ago used to pick up takeaways and go to the off-licence- just for him

Was pleased when he thought I had miscarried our much wanted dd, so that he could go on his boys bike trip abroad.

Peed the bed and ruined the mattress- twice!

Threw me under a moving bus.. left me for dead.
I was put into a coma with broken jaw/ ribs/ pelvis/ both hips/ both ankles/ one leg/ one hand arm.
Crushed pelvis caused vaginal / bowel problems... and lots more physical and mental health problems.
I have become more severely disabled as I've got older ( 66 now).
This was 38 years ago. He's still in prison for attempted murder.
( not my kids Dad).
16 years after l did get a big payout.. took that long to see how disabled l would become..
Rather have my health back than a few million though.

A couple spring to mind.

Cheated on me with my sister - I haven't spoken to either in about 20 years. He treated her like utter crap and I think they were together for about 6 months. When she came to me for help I just shrugged and told her to get lost.

Police guy. Utter arsehole on a massive power trip also potentially dangerous and I would not want to meet him down a dark alley. Have never dated a policeman since and never would again. I'm friends with a few and no way would I date them.

Man who almost bankrupted me. I found out he had a serious gambling habit.

Oh my god i could write a book but the two that spring to mind are him insisting that his affairs don't have any affect on our children. Asking if his latest affair and her child could come and stay with us for Christmas.

Hid alcohol in some bizarre spots.
Suitcases, safe, in the car boot near the spare tyre behind the unused spare bedding and towels.
Nipped to the supermarket for some gravy came back smelling like a brewery.
Jealous accusations, tracking my phone usage patterns, interrogation over whom I was talking, no talking to exes or anyone of the opposite sex etc, etc, etc.

Absolute pit of a person..

Had an affair.
Left our daughter to cry with the people who were upsetting her while he left the situation.
Refused to play when she asked him to.
Told someone really personal things about me he had no right on and they had no need to know.
Stopping there as will get too stressed.

So bloody glad I've divorced the twat.

Beat me up all the time
Did permanent damage
Had affairs, denied it. Made me feel it was all in my head. Admitted all of it when I left as a last ditch attempt to show me how honest he is, and get me to come back
cleared out our account when I left
stole my dog when I left, stalked me and got into the back garden
stalked me for 5 years
rang me from different numbers, put on accents, told me where I lived and what local landmarks were near to me and hung up, even though I moved countless times
slept with one of my old friends who I hadn’t seen for a while when I left, and told her lies about me, many were things he had done, turned her against me.
Got his family and friends to all call me to tell me how sad he was I left, none of them knew about all the violence
The list goes on

Told me he'd changed his mind about marriage and kids.

We had a 21 month old and I was 8 months' pregnant.

He's had very little to do with the DC since. But has married again and had two more children who he dotes on.

It's very hard not to be bitter.

He threw a mirror at me while I was naked and in the bath. The mirror shattered and glass fell into the bath water. The glass cut my legs until it settled on the bottom of the bath. I had to sit in it till the water drained because moving made me get cut more.

He smashed the phone and locked me in the house so I couldn't get out or call the police or ambulance.

He told me not his fault I have OCD. If I want to clean its my business. I split my stitches after a c section because he wouldn't vacuum.

Me.
but she somehow now manages to do their washing now that we are separated

I hope you understand the comparisons OP.

What?

I think @Summerhillsquare means that alot of us women get beat up, not just have someone not do the washing etc

OP might be a woman.

Grabbed me by the throat, spat in my face and said he wished I was dead 😵

Whilst my 6 month old was asleep in the same room

Spat in my face, beat me black and blue with a golf club, rubbed dog poo in my face, cut chunks out of my hair, strangled me, broke about 10 of my phones, didn't allow me to have a phone when I was at his house, financially controlled me. The list is endless, 8 long years this went on for and I wish I'd got the bastard locked up when I had the chance to. And worst of all he was pretty much still breastfeed from his mam as she just enabled it. Feels good to have a little rant.

Controlled my money
Controlled me
Stole my money
Broke into my house in the middle of the night (more than once) as I 'must have been shagging another man'
Locked me and the kids in the house for days on end
Wouldn't allow me to go to hospital while in labour,until I was about to give birth as he loved seeing me in pain
Would slap my engorged boobs
Used our children to control me 'do x/y/z and I'll take the kids and you'll never see them again'
Pissed the bed more than once while pissed
Stole odd bits and bobs from me
Would wank over the kids clean clothes so I'd have to rewash them
Shat in my knicker drawer
Poured black coffee over a cross stitch that he knew I'd spend months working on
Left me for a 14 year old girl,got her pregnant (somehow all my fault) and fucked off leaving this child holding the baby (and he got away with it as she was too scared of him to go to the police)
Landed up in prison for drug dealing-all my fault apparently (he was such a big time drug dealer apparently-in rl,he was such a thick twat,he would accept cheques and tried dealing hard drugs to an off duty policeman)

Many more

Won't surprise anyone that this prince never paid for his kids,badmouthed me for 'stopping me seeing my kids' (he stopped seeing them,after dragging me through the courts for fun as 'its free,innit?') and not only did his whole family back him up,but so did mine!

And that’s necessary to point out why?

Woke me up frequently in the middle of the night ranting and raving about something or other I had supposedly done, I think he was purposefully trying to confuse me and get me to admit to something that had never happened.

Totally minor compared to some of these but.

Would go to every party/ night out we were invited to, even if it was for 'my' friend if I couldn't get a babysitter.

Always had money for beer/Whiskey even though it meant my mum buying nappies.

Then after we split,
Told his entire family that I'd stopped him seeing DC so I got a ton of abusive messages, and they posted passive aggressive FB statuses about me. Only I hadn't stopped him seeing them at all. We'd gone away for the weekend. I offered him extra days during the week/ the following weekend. He wasn't interested. His sister called SS on me for that.