Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found husbands account on onlyfans

121 replies

Jabbathehurt · 20/10/2024 01:03

Out for advice. Found out after reading text from his mum that he had an outstanding credit card loan over at least 4 years with thousands owed ( variable amount from 2500 to 4000) according to him as can’t keep answer straight. He has refused to show me credit card bill, or how much he has paid in interest with apr of 18.9 percent!!! I offered to pay it off for him and he said he didn’t want to be beholden to me. (Not that we have 2 kids under 6, and I own the house and paid for everything costing over 200 pounds other than his Xbox and tv and phone.) I’ve managed to hack into an old phone he said wasn’t working anymore, seemed to be working fine after a charge. Anyhow managed to get into his phone and bank apps ( only monzo) were accessible thanks to his password manager which gave me all accounts and passwords. I found an onlyfans account ( in a fake name) and several payments for 2 subscriptions to slutty tramps. Payments also consistent with billing details from monzo account. Advice on what to do. I earn x3 as much as he does.

OP posts:
121Diet · 20/10/2024 01:07

Your DH is the slutty tramp

Viewfrommyhouse · 20/10/2024 01:12

Jabbathehurt · 20/10/2024 01:03

Out for advice. Found out after reading text from his mum that he had an outstanding credit card loan over at least 4 years with thousands owed ( variable amount from 2500 to 4000) according to him as can’t keep answer straight. He has refused to show me credit card bill, or how much he has paid in interest with apr of 18.9 percent!!! I offered to pay it off for him and he said he didn’t want to be beholden to me. (Not that we have 2 kids under 6, and I own the house and paid for everything costing over 200 pounds other than his Xbox and tv and phone.) I’ve managed to hack into an old phone he said wasn’t working anymore, seemed to be working fine after a charge. Anyhow managed to get into his phone and bank apps ( only monzo) were accessible thanks to his password manager which gave me all accounts and passwords. I found an onlyfans account ( in a fake name) and several payments for 2 subscriptions to slutty tramps. Payments also consistent with billing details from monzo account. Advice on what to do. I earn x3 as much as he does.

It doesn't matter if you 'own ' the house. It's the marital home, so it's his too...

Do you have any idea of his total debt? Does he work?

XChrome · 20/10/2024 01:14

Absolutely do not pay any debts he lied about and which were incurred to jerk off to other women.
I would leave him before he bankrupts you. Also, if he hasn't actually cheated IRL yet, he will. Go into stealth mode and gather all the evidence you can before you lower the boom on him. It might give you leverage to get him to back off when he gives you trouble if you divorce him, and do not doubt that he will.

offyoujollywelltrot · 20/10/2024 01:16

As someone else said, the slutty tramp here, is your husband. It seems the best idea is to separate, given the situation.

RubyMentor · 20/10/2024 01:29

Give him his marching orders

Notimeforaname · 20/10/2024 01:44

Tell him you know and tell him to get out and go to his mother's until you figure out what you want to do. Your skin will be crawling in the same house as him now.

Popcorn63 · 20/10/2024 01:50

Get legal advice and gather as much evidence as you can before alerting him.
Solicitor can advise regarding assets and how to proceed.

1smallhamsterfoot · 20/10/2024 02:18

It's your husband who is financing these "slutty tramps"

Incakewetrust · 20/10/2024 02:22

Divorce divorce divorce!!
Don't give him another penny and give him a month to pack his shit and leave.
Lying, sleazy bastard!

Jabbathehurt · 20/10/2024 11:58

So I couldn’t wait I was so angry I confronted him obviously after screenshotting everything. He accused me of hacking his accounts, denied the existence of his onlyfans account until I said I had evidence of a payment card in his name. Then proceeded to admit it and blame me for it. Liar and Bastard. I’ve packed his stuff all up in bin bags.

OP posts:
gotmychristmasmiracle · 20/10/2024 12:59

You could get him to open up a ClearScore account and that will show all his accounts and debts.

VikingFortiesCromartyNorthWest4to6South3to5Later · 20/10/2024 13:03

Slutty Tramp - stay and work it out.
Slutty Trump - LTB.

Incakewetrust · 20/10/2024 16:41

Jabbathehurt · 20/10/2024 11:58

So I couldn’t wait I was so angry I confronted him obviously after screenshotting everything. He accused me of hacking his accounts, denied the existence of his onlyfans account until I said I had evidence of a payment card in his name. Then proceeded to admit it and blame me for it. Liar and Bastard. I’ve packed his stuff all up in bin bags.

Well done for standing your ground! The only fans thing I could forgive but I could never forgive lying.

XChrome · 20/10/2024 19:39

That prick! Well, that tears it then. There's no coming back from the lies and blaming you for his actions. Out he goes, I hope.

ahhwotsits · 24/10/2024 06:40

I hope you’re ok OP. It’s such a horrible shock finding out something about your husband that you didn’t think they’d do. Sending lots of strength to you as you navigate it all.

CosyLemur · 24/10/2024 07:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Victoriancat · 24/10/2024 07:15

Yeaaaah thr women aren't the tramps, they're providing a service, it's their job.

Welshmonster · 24/10/2024 07:16

As you are married then he could potentially claim half the house so get a good lawyer now for divorce as you could end up paying him

honeylulu · 24/10/2024 07:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What a load of rubbish. A useless lump of a man like this who sits around running up debt on porn and lets his wife fund everything is going to be a selfish twonk who won't want RP of the kids because it's too much work for his lazy arse.

Divorce settlements aren't punitive so the division of assets will have nothing to do with who had an affair, ran up debts and lied or snooped at a phone. OP is the higher earner and the one capable of servicing a mortgage so if anyone stays in the house rather than it being sold, it would be her.

Criminal record my arse. If he told you his phone log in then the police would say you had implied authority to look at it. It's like sharing your bank PIN. (My grandmother shared hers with her cleaning lady for getting bits of shopping and when she helped herself to large sums the police said tough shit basically.)

I don't generally condone snooping but I'm this case it's just as well OP did.

Jennyathemall · 24/10/2024 07:36

Always find the psychology around MN posts interesting - for example posts like this one where the title doesn’t match the actual issue detail? This isn’t about Onlyfans - it’s about a whole long list of issues with a lying DH, which an objective observer would have said LTB long ago. But apparently OP is happy to overlook all these and shovel money at her “d”h until she found the OF account which apparently is the straw that broke the camels back but in context is a relatively minor update to the pre existing shit show.

CosyLemur · 24/10/2024 07:46

honeylulu · 24/10/2024 07:20

What a load of rubbish. A useless lump of a man like this who sits around running up debt on porn and lets his wife fund everything is going to be a selfish twonk who won't want RP of the kids because it's too much work for his lazy arse.

Divorce settlements aren't punitive so the division of assets will have nothing to do with who had an affair, ran up debts and lied or snooped at a phone. OP is the higher earner and the one capable of servicing a mortgage so if anyone stays in the house rather than it being sold, it would be her.

Criminal record my arse. If he told you his phone log in then the police would say you had implied authority to look at it. It's like sharing your bank PIN. (My grandmother shared hers with her cleaning lady for getting bits of shopping and when she helped herself to large sums the police said tough shit basically.)

I don't generally condone snooping but I'm this case it's just as well OP did.

Legally sharing/not having a password on your phone is different to your pin number. But he also didn't give her permission he refused to give her permission.
Whilst I agree he's a LLB she shouldn't have gone looking into his bank account; she should have just thrown him out when she found out he was in debt that she didn't know about!

Hereforaglance · 24/10/2024 07:47

This is the problem with snooping behind a person back you find things you would rather not
Obviously daft opinion but clearly adult conversation is not an option here just snoop and leave lol

Oldseagull · 24/10/2024 07:54

Victoriancat · 24/10/2024 07:15

Yeaaaah thr women aren't the tramps, they're providing a service, it's their job.

They are tramps.

It's fine, it's perfectly legal to be a slutty tramp, but let's not pretend it's even remotely the same as being a nurse or a hairdresser.

Bookery · 24/10/2024 08:06

Hereforaglance · 24/10/2024 07:47

This is the problem with snooping behind a person back you find things you would rather not
Obviously daft opinion but clearly adult conversation is not an option here just snoop and leave lol

I'm not sure if you read the posts from the OP detailing what her husband did before commenting.

For starters, OP stated that "Found out after reading text from his mum that he had an outstanding credit card loan over at least 4 years with thousands owed ( variable amount from 2500 to 4000) according to him as can’t keep answer straight. He has refused to show me credit card bill, or how much he has paid in interest with apr of 18.9 percent!!!"

"Obviously daft opinion but clearly adult conversation is not an option here just snoop and leave lol" is not helpful.

Ubugly · 24/10/2024 08:14

Oldseagull · 24/10/2024 07:54

They are tramps.

It's fine, it's perfectly legal to be a slutty tramp, but let's not pretend it's even remotely the same as being a nurse or a hairdresser.

Why are you so annoyed by people doing only fans. Sounds like someone's touched a nerve.

OP you husband is a ponse. Dumb his lazy lying ugly arse.

Swipe left for the next trending thread