Found husbands account on onlyfans

[Jabbathehurt]

Out for advice. Found out after reading text from his mum that he had an outstanding credit card loan over at least 4 years with thousands owed ( variable amount from 2500 to 4000) according to him as can’t keep answer straight. He has refused to show me credit card bill, or how much he has paid in interest with apr of 18.9 percent!!! I offered to pay it off for him and he said he didn’t want to be beholden to me. (Not that we have 2 kids under 6, and I own the house and paid for everything costing over 200 pounds other than his Xbox and tv and phone.) I’ve managed to hack into an old phone he said wasn’t working anymore, seemed to be working fine after a charge. Anyhow managed to get into his phone and bank apps ( only monzo) were accessible thanks to his password manager which gave me all accounts and passwords. I found an onlyfans account ( in a fake name) and several payments for 2 subscriptions to slutty tramps. Payments also consistent with billing details from monzo account. Advice on what to do. I earn x3 as much as he does.

This - nobody thinks of snooping if they don’t already have suspicions that something is going on behind their backs.

I can't believe people on here are actually saying the OP is in the wrong for snooping down his old phone. Is it criminal now to look at your partners message that pops up from your MIL. Pathetic. He should've been straight up about what he'd racked up debt for when his wife asked him. If id got myself in some 'innocent' debt and my husband offered to pay it off id be extremely fucking greatful but obviously he's not because he's a lying scumbag and couldn't be honest.

Agreed. I'd be booting him out.

Can’t believe mumsnet has deleted the comments about how rude it is to call OnlyFans girls “slutty tramps”. Typical mumsnet. The OP deserves her loser husband.

I'm interested to discuss where the difference between OnlyFans content creators, Adult actors on a porn site, and websites where amateur couples or singles can post content is.

I know plenty of female's who have no issue with their other half watching porn, sometimes they also watch together.

I understand that with OnlyFans you can subscribe and pay, but there are plenty of porn sites where you can pay too.

They aren't the same as Sex Workers, they are more akin to Adult film actors who are being paid to show themselves in an explicit way.

If the same person was posting on a porn site, other than OnlyFans, would you judge them differently?

@LR42 in my opinion, only fans is way more personal. You can't go on pornh*b and have any chance of messaging these girls for personal content made for you ect. Only fans you can one on one message, tell them what you want exactly and pay them for that. In my relationship, any porn is a no go whether you pay or not. But, I would feel more betrayed and more angry if he was slyly paying for girls on only fans over watching a free video on pornhub. Pornhub is litterally a swipe through yeah that looks good that'll do. Only fans is finding these girls on other social media platforms most the time, liking the look of them and wanting more then you go over to there only fans.

All sources of porn are open to using those who are trafficked or otherwise forced into the industry. None of it is acceptable from that point of view.

That doesn’t make them not slutty tramps just because they are getting paid to shag around, makes them even more slutty tramps, and why would that offend them, they are whores, in the literal sense 🙄

I don’t think you know what OnlyFans is. They are not prostitutes. They are sex workers who receive money in exchange for pictures and videos of themselves, and some remain partially clothed or faceless. They never physically meet with their subscribers.

@Icancopealone totally agree and the advice of 'just talk to him' clearly comes from some very naive people- people when cornered about hookers, sex workers, affairs, debt , usually go into self defence mode and lie their arse off -

{mention:TheQueeen}@DurbevillesGirl - as far as I'm concerned they are digital prostitutes- getting paid for online direct to consumer sexual services.

God knows why I’m still receiving notifications for this thread - after my comment was deleted?!
Not entirely sure why it was deleted, along with multiple other comments all challenging the OP for referring to women as ‘slutty tramps’… I even read through the ‘Talk guidelines’, and I’m still none the wiser! Maybe mumsnet admins encourage degrading language towards sex workers?

It's 2024 and women can be more than nurses or hairdressers. If i could stay home and play pretend all day I would. The women and men who do this have worked out there's a market for niche quorn.

Also like I said above, don't assume the only fans was for a young attractive female... there's alsorts of stuff on there that you wouldn't want DH getting horny to.

He's a man child. I'd end it now before you find out the whole truth.

The difference is interaction. It's real, it's personal and it's for you, not for general consumption.

🤣

Semantics.

It's prostitution.

Prostitution is selling sexual services - it isn't limited to "penis in orifice in person".

Why would you think it is.

It's all just forms of prostitution.

Yep.

Digital prostitution is still prostitution.

I didn't get onto the ethics of porn - it's a large subject and worthy of a separate thread.

Only pointed out that interactive online sex work (and paying for that) is different from watching pre recorded, free porn.

They aren't the same as Sex Workers, they are more akin to Adult film actors...

"Adult film actors" are sex workers.

If you have sex for money, if the sex is your job ...... You are a sex worker.

@HazelPlayer totally. Or selling sexual services for money on a one to one basis - thereby as far as I'm concerned it's digital prostitution

Fgs. You think the OP should have just ignored the fact that her husband had racked up loads of debt that he had hidden from her and even refused to be honest about once she had accidentally found out it existed?! She shouldn't have even tried to find out about it? The man sounds like a sleazy scumbag and an utter liability. If you're fine with that kind of behaviour from a partner... well, each to their own.