Found husbands account on onlyfans

[Jabbathehurt]

Out for advice. Found out after reading text from his mum that he had an outstanding credit card loan over at least 4 years with thousands owed ( variable amount from 2500 to 4000) according to him as can’t keep answer straight. He has refused to show me credit card bill, or how much he has paid in interest with apr of 18.9 percent!!! I offered to pay it off for him and he said he didn’t want to be beholden to me. (Not that we have 2 kids under 6, and I own the house and paid for everything costing over 200 pounds other than his Xbox and tv and phone.) I’ve managed to hack into an old phone he said wasn’t working anymore, seemed to be working fine after a charge. Anyhow managed to get into his phone and bank apps ( only monzo) were accessible thanks to his password manager which gave me all accounts and passwords. I found an onlyfans account ( in a fake name) and several payments for 2 subscriptions to slutty tramps. Payments also consistent with billing details from monzo account. Advice on what to do. I earn x3 as much as he does.

I agree about the cheating. I also wonder if he's ever visited escorts. It's a short jump from visiting an onlyfans site to clicking on an escort site.

That's not how it works. You also seem to struggle with comprehension @CosyLemur to get all that from OP's posts.

I really hope you have a preneup
It's the man's duty to provide for housing and clothing unless he is in a rough patch
He is cheating and completely disrespectng you.
If you are the sole breadwinner
Then don't say anything
Speak to lawyers
Move your finances to your own account
Get your finances in order
Then tell him to leave
By the way
You deserve better

If your married,he gets half of everything,
I hope he isn't the main carer for the children,or you could end up paying him maintenance

Get legal advice from a good divorce solicitor pronto.

for the benefit of your kids don't divorce as some suggested and talk it out.. him being on only fans I mean it's not really the women on their his chasing it's the pleasure and that is an addiction similir to heroin. he needs help and you leaving him isn't Going to do him any good.

You should confront him at the perfect time.

What on earth?? So according to you he's ill and only needs the support of a loving wife 😫

Isn’t only fans just like watching porn ?

Nope.

It's interactive and personal.

Porn is pre recorded, "anonymous" and not interactive.

And - of great importance - porn can be had for free.

Only fans required paying essentially sex workers.

But you'd kick him out for heroin .

So ....

Anyway, that's BS. He just wants to get his kicks with other woman while having one to pay the bills, cook do the housework and raise his kids.

Not automatically.

I consulted a solicitor about my h re. my home that I owned 9 yrs before we married and she said she thought he'd get 25% of it.

Depends how long you're married too I think.

Found the man ☝️

That's good to know
I had it in my head they get half of everything

Any woman who owns her own home-

DO NOT MARRY

In a split he gets half .

😂

Maybe not, but she still shouldn’t have logged in.

Finding out about a credit card debt (by snooping) does not excuse the massive invasion of privacy she has undertaken.

It’s best for all parties that they separate.

Why do we always need all these moral reasons as women ? You earn 3x as much and he’s wanking off on OF & running up gambling debts… maybe you want better and can do better cos life is short.

yeh you shouldn’t have logged into your husbands phone blah blah. If I’m sharing my vagina and my house and my finances with someone then I’m logging in their phone if someone raises issues of debts and finances and trust.

"Snooping" to establish or confirm you are being fucked over gets a free pass.

Many people would still be in shit relationships, being mistreated and scammed if they hadn't "snooped".

What they found vindicated their "snooping".

Raising kids, sharing a life and the prime of my life I’ll never get back… log into his phone, know who you’re living with and sharing a life with because you’re sure as hell not going to find out playing the doting, trusting, naive wife. All you will get for that is the wool pulled over your eyes and wake up in a decade to shock, debt and a whole different post

Oh come on, if I was the OW or an OF worker, I would not be offended by an upset wife calling me a “slutty tramp”.

I’d honestly not even blink at that, would be too busy swiping credit cards and bouncing on my pillow. Not entirely sure that the winners are the cooking, cleaning & devoted wives -
especially after reading mumsnet - dignity is a subjective thing.

”talk it out”? Have you ever tried talking someone out of putting their own need for gratification over your happiness in the relationship? It’s not an addiction he needs support to overcome, it’s a choice he’s making.
Besides, who’s to say the OP’s kids wouldn’t be better off without him?

You're talking rubbish. Are you a slutty man? Whose side are you on? You're so emotionally dead 😵