Upset, need help and advice.

[StrawberryFields67]

I've name-changed for this.

Long story short, I have a male relative, in his 70s, who bought a computer a couple of years ago for emailing and listening to music and whatever. He is always running into problems with it and recently brought it to me to 'fix'.

So I took it home, opened it up and saw it. Not just search history but endless OPEN tabs, bookmarks, videos all over the desktop of the most horrible sexual stuff I have ever encountered. Stuff that I suspect might be illegal but I don't know for sure because there's no way I'm putting those god-awful search terms in my history.

I tried to mention this discreetly to a friend, omitting details, and I got the usual "leave him alone", "everyone has needs", "porn is normal" blah blah blah and to just let it go. But I can't because this man is a god damn deviant and I will never look at him in the same way again. I never want to be in the same space. I don't know how in the hell he could hand over a laptop with that EVERYWHERE ON IT and not even care?

I don't event want to describe this but basically, what I saw - it wasn't children. But as far as I'm concerned, it was just as bad. It was the same level of severity in my eyes.

A local VET was recently convicted of having bestiality images/videos on his devices. He wasn’t jailed, but had suspended sentence etc.

The amount of support this man received on social media because they had used his veterinary services was astounding.

I’d report him OP. It’s wrong, whoever he is to you.

Given his age, does he have any form of dementia or mental decline OP?

I ask because I know know a carer who looks after a person with significant mental disabilities who has looked up all sorts of awful things on the internet and they’ve had to put really strict controls on the laptop. Apparently she was saying that it’s really quite common in dementia patients and those with mental disabilities.

Remove the old hard drive, put in a new one and smash the old one to smithereens and throw it away full stop then put on a child lock or whatever filter thing which will hopefully stop him from downloading anything illegal

I completely understand, OP. Could you bring yourself to just tell him you know? And that if he carries on, you'll tell the rest of the family. That will almost certainly shame him into complying.

Honestly, I do think you're maybe underestimating the long-term cost of keeping this kind of secret entirely to yourself. Could you speak to a sibling, or perhaps your mum? It's horrible to carry this alone.

Richard Gere fucked a hamster?

Up his arris. Give it a google.

Think it was a gerbil..

A few things stand out. Grandad has put you in an awful position, but at the end of the day you have a moral obligation to report this. I can't understand why you are concerned reporting him could potentially drive him to suicide? If he did, that's the problem solved! You owe nothing to him! He made poor choices, don't enable him.

I hope to fuck this is dementia

When you deleted what you saw did you do it on your own network? If so it might be traceable to you...I'm not very tech savvy but it is possible. In which case you could be seen as an accessory of sorts if you have deleted this stuff.

This. Doing sexual stuff to animals contact 101.

She's deleted evidence of illegal actvity, it should induce some anxiety.

Hopefully op will do right thing. Even if it is dementia it needs reporting too.

Op hasn't said if children go round his house either of if he has contact with children or family pets.

If it is dementia related it still needs reporting, if it seems out of character.

However a lot of men have dark secrets.

I just looked this up as was horrified. The article I found mentioned that this vet was also guilty of making indecent images of kids so involved in CP. Whilst beastiality is different to CP, the premise is very similar (innocent creatures who can’t consent). Not to mention the poor women also involved. If that’s the way his mind works then who knows what he would have found if he had greater access and understanding of how to use the internet (ie the dark web etc).

OP this is a truly horrible situation that you are in. I really feel for you. But this may be part of a much bigger picture and there may be other events you aren’t aware of. If you can’t bring yourself to report him yourself, please send the computer in to PC world or similar as PPs have suggested. This isn’t a ‘naughty old grandad’ situation and you do NOT have to deal with this alone- look into those other helplines above. Handhold.

So was it young girls over 16 but still it's basically abusive.

can you report concerns anonymously to the Police?

You could certainly email the safeguarding officer at his local church (if C of E, I don’t know how it works in other denominations) and flag up concerns.

I do appreciate that this puts you in an awful situation.

Not been in this situation. But I do understand.
It's been wiped and it's done.
I doubt the police would do much. The courts in the UK are at breaking point and jails are full.
You have my sympathy OP. I hope I never have to deal with this.

Hopefully op will do right thing. Women and animals being abused at the end of the day. Something needs to be done. For some reason the universe threw op a curveball, she needs to play it back correctly for good of humankind.

It's not a false equivalence at all. How do you think bestiality videos are made? Through rape and abuse of women and animals!

First rule of misogyny: "Women are responsible for what men do“.

It's him that's risked the family, not her.

Oh look, the men have arrived to tell us how hysterical we are.

Bestiality videos are illegal in this country for a reason. OP is complicit in covering up a criminal offence. Those are facts, not opinions.

This is illegal it is known as beastiality when animals are involved and should be reported to the police. Anything involving animals sexually, rape or children should be reported immediately.

Take it to his minister. Make it very clear that you have been put in a very horrible situation and you can’t unsee what you have been subjected to. You would like them to handle this situation appropriately as you do not wish to be responsible for any repercussions owing to this man’s mental health or social reputation but you expect this man to understand that you have very clear boundaries that must be respected from now on.

It is beyond belief that you would delete the computer instead of reporting it and handing it to police! I don't care who it is or how much shit it would cause I would be reporting it. If he had taken it to a computer repair shop it would have been handed straight over to police. I find your actions unbelievable. People don't just get a slap on the wrist when they do this they get put on a sex offenders list given supervision and internet restrictions. I know I've drawn up the orders for these cases. Some are banned from owning a computer at all. By saying nothing and handing him back his computer your giving him the power to go back to doing the same thing again and condoning his actions! Not something my conscience would let me live with.

Just because you deleted the evidence doesn’t mean it’s too late. It can be recovered. Go to the police.