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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Upset, need help and advice.

155 replies

StrawberryFields67 · 20/07/2024 18:31

I've name-changed for this.

Long story short, I have a male relative, in his 70s, who bought a computer a couple of years ago for emailing and listening to music and whatever. He is always running into problems with it and recently brought it to me to 'fix'.

So I took it home, opened it up and saw it. Not just search history but endless OPEN tabs, bookmarks, videos all over the desktop of the most horrible sexual stuff I have ever encountered. Stuff that I suspect might be illegal but I don't know for sure because there's no way I'm putting those god-awful search terms in my history.

I tried to mention this discreetly to a friend, omitting details, and I got the usual "leave him alone", "everyone has needs", "porn is normal" blah blah blah and to just let it go. But I can't because this man is a god damn deviant and I will never look at him in the same way again. I never want to be in the same space. I don't know how in the hell he could hand over a laptop with that EVERYWHERE ON IT and not even care?

I don't event want to describe this but basically, what I saw - it wasn't children. But as far as I'm concerned, it was just as bad. It was the same level of severity in my eyes.

OP posts:
newleafontheplantjohn · 21/07/2024 11:01

bouncybouncingboobies · 20/07/2024 19:58

What a difficult situation. If you want to maintain some sort of relationship I would suggest you leave him a way out also- I don’t know who you have left your computer with Grandad but there was some very serious illegal porn on it involving animals….blah blah police..reporting etc.

Yes, I'd probably go with this option.

I'm so sorry you're in this position, OP.

(With a caveat to say if there was anything involving children I couldn't / wouldnt keep quiet)

Pikapikapikachu11 · 21/07/2024 12:08

newleafontheplantjohn · 21/07/2024 11:01

Yes, I'd probably go with this option.

I'm so sorry you're in this position, OP.

(With a caveat to say if there was anything involving children I couldn't / wouldnt keep quiet)

You should keep quiet over animal abuse and women exploitation?

Pikapikapikachu11 · 21/07/2024 12:13

Hopefully op will do the right.thing, opinion on here sway, 80-90% reporting to police.

Just hope no children in his vicinity, if so it should 100% be reported. Children seeing things like that is wrong and if he can't even clear search history...

Just hope if children are involved in being around him, she does right thing.

Hopefully no children are around him.

NChange10 · 21/07/2024 13:03

Children can see all sorts of things on their own phones.
That's the first safeguard.

Pikapikapikachu11 · 21/07/2024 14:14

NChange10 · 21/07/2024 13:03

Children can see all sorts of things on their own phones.
That's the first safeguard.

You would hope parents have that in place already, but yes children Will need safeguarding from him too.

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