Page 3 | Upset, need help and advice.

StrawberryFields67 · 2024-07-20T17:31:37+00:00

I've name-changed for this. Long story short, I have a male relative, in his 70s, who bought a computer a couple of years ago for emailing and listening to music and whatever. He is always running into problems with it and recently brought it to me to 'fix'. So I took it home, opened it up and saw it. Not just search history but endless OPEN tabs, bookmarks, videos all over the desktop of the most horrible sexual stuff I have ever encountered. Stuff that I suspect might be illegal but I don't know for sure because there's no way I'm putting those god-awful search terms in my history. I tried to mention this discreetly to a friend, omitting details, and I got the usual "leave him alone", "everyone has needs", "porn is normal" blah blah blah and to just let it go. But I can't because this man is a god damn deviant and I will never look at him in the same way again. I never want to be in the same space. I don't know how in the hell he could hand over a laptop with that EVERYWHERE ON IT and not even care? I don't event want to describe this but basically, what I saw - it wasn't children. But as far as I'm concerned, it was just as bad. It was the same level of severity in my eyes.

TemuSpecialBuy · 20/07/2024 19:55

Jesus i feel for you.

Can you confide in either of your parents? Or a sibling?
Ie are they the type that are helpful and supportive?

If you really cant talk to ANYONE
I think i would put every kind of blocker and childproofing you can on it, hand it back, warn him about the police and that it is illegal. Andddd tell him never to ask for it help again andthat i think he is a disgusting pervert.

bouncybouncingboobies · 20/07/2024 19:58

What a difficult situation. If you want to maintain some sort of relationship I would suggest you leave him a way out also- I don’t know who you have left your computer with Grandad but there was some very serious illegal porn on it involving animals….blah blah police..reporting etc.

Original poster

StrawberryFields67 · 20/07/2024 19:58

TemuSpecialBuy · 20/07/2024 19:55

Jesus i feel for you.

Can you confide in either of your parents? Or a sibling?
Ie are they the type that are helpful and supportive?

If you really cant talk to ANYONE
I think i would put every kind of blocker and childproofing you can on it, hand it back, warn him about the police and that it is illegal. Andddd tell him never to ask for it help again andthat i think he is a disgusting pervert.

I can't think of anyone that I could talk to about it without raising hell. I wish I could. But nobody wants to believe that their Dad, DB, etc is like that and if I were them, I wouldn't want to believe it either.

OP posts:

2inthestink · 20/07/2024 20:03

Just thinking, he hasn't had any visitors round at all has he, anyone who could have used it other than him?

DaisyChain505 · 20/07/2024 20:03

10000% report this. This is bestiality and is illegal and absolutely abhorrent cruelty to animals.

If you don’t report you’re saying this is ok.

DontKeepScratchingIt · 20/07/2024 20:04

craigth162 · 20/07/2024 18:38

Phone 111 for advice

111 is for MEDICAL advice

Pikapikapikachu11 · 20/07/2024 20:08

Feel for you op. What a horrible.situation. as another poster said, he doesn't have pets does he?

time2changeCharlieBrown · 20/07/2024 20:11

How awful
Do you think anyone else could have used it? Does he ever have anyone staying over or visiting? I’m just wondering if it is definitely him
seems stupid to hand it over to you with all that on! I think you definitely need to mention it to him and explain it’s illegal and the implications of looking at it
do you think someone might have mentioned it to him so he’s looked it up to be nosy?
I hope it’s something like that
I find it literally sickening what some people find a turn on it literally turns my stomach and makes my blood boil to think about how disturbed some people are.
sorry you had to see it but I don’t think you should have deleted it all hope it doesn’t come back to bite you.

Original poster

StrawberryFields67 · 20/07/2024 20:11

Pikapikapikachu11 · 20/07/2024 20:08

Feel for you op. What a horrible.situation. as another poster said, he doesn't have pets does he?

No, no pets.

OP posts:

EveryKneeShallBow · 20/07/2024 20:12

What’s that quote? Something about all it takes is for good people to do nothing? You are now complicit in this. You cannot just pretend you didn’t see it. You know what you should do.

MounjaroUser · 20/07/2024 20:16

The problem is that as you have destroyed the evidence, they never will believe it.

I think you should have given it back and told him you didn't like what you saw on it and he should take it to a computer repair shop. If there's anything illegal on it, they will report it to the police.

Likewhatever · 20/07/2024 20:19

He thinks what he was looking at was private. You need to find a way to alert him to the fact that it isn’t, and that some of it could get him into trouble, especially if he’s communicating online with anyone who shares his “interests”. It’s up to you how direct you want to be.

I don’t think you should do anything more. Unless you actually think he might harm someone, or is involved in dubious online activity or networking, I’d leave well alone.

Panama2 · 20/07/2024 20:21

So can you just search and get illegal porn? Don't the ones putting this out there cover their tracks?

Blinketyblinkblank · 20/07/2024 20:22

Quite honestly I don't care whether he is elderly and your relative you should still have handed it into the police.
You have made yourself complicit in illegal and horrible exploitation.
I know you didn't ask to get involved but by your action in wiping the stuff you have condoned his behaviour. I can't understand why you would not report this and hand over the evidence.

Differentstarts · 20/07/2024 20:26

craigth162 · 20/07/2024 18:38

Phone 111 for advice

Please don't ring the nhs non emergency line because of this. Seriously what is wrong with everyone on this site
Non emergency police 101
Non emergency nhs 111
Emergency line for all 999
I'm sick of saying it. Blooming learn it. Not aimed just at you multiple people on here say it and it annoys me

Original poster

StrawberryFields67 · 20/07/2024 20:27

EveryKneeShallBow · 20/07/2024 20:12

What’s that quote? Something about all it takes is for good people to do nothing? You are now complicit in this. You cannot just pretend you didn’t see it. You know what you should do.

I don't mean to sound flippant but seriously, life is not a TV show. Even if I reported it, it wouldn't be a case of just strolling triumphantly into a police station as though I'm about to bring the law down on Jimmy Savile and then waltzing back out again to wild applause. It's my own grandad.

What do I do if he harms or kills himself, under the stress? What do I say to other relatives, my friends? What do I if no-one believes it's true? If he IS prosecuted, what does it mean for my job, my family etc I am called to give evidence? In the real world, there are tons of consequences for something like this and they're not just for the sicko, who usually walk away with a warning. It is literally a decision that could ruin someone's life and I'm not keen to 'play the hero', there are no heroes.

OP posts:

EveryKneeShallBow · 20/07/2024 20:31

I really wasn’t suggesting waltzing. And I have good reason to know full well the potential outcomes.

2inthestink · 20/07/2024 20:32

Panama2 · 20/07/2024 20:21

So can you just search and get illegal porn? Don't the ones putting this out there cover their tracks?

Yes, its not illegal the world over, so it's there easy enough if you google it and it seems its not filtered out like thankfully CP is.

Blinketyblinkblank · 20/07/2024 20:34

StrawberryFields67 · 20/07/2024 20:27

I don't mean to sound flippant but seriously, life is not a TV show. Even if I reported it, it wouldn't be a case of just strolling triumphantly into a police station as though I'm about to bring the law down on Jimmy Savile and then waltzing back out again to wild applause. It's my own grandad.

What do I do if he harms or kills himself, under the stress? What do I say to other relatives, my friends? What do I if no-one believes it's true? If he IS prosecuted, what does it mean for my job, my family etc I am called to give evidence? In the real world, there are tons of consequences for something like this and they're not just for the sicko, who usually walk away with a warning. It is literally a decision that could ruin someone's life and I'm not keen to 'play the hero', there are no heroes.

Show quote history

I'm actually quite shocked.
Just exactly what crimes would you report? Rape? Murder? Child abuse? Or do you usually just stand by and do nothing because the consequences might be bad for yourself.
What would you have done if he had been watching child pornography?

Pikapikapikachu11 · 20/07/2024 20:35

Ask yourself, why is beastiality illegal? Why does the government and police want to stop it?

Maybe time to have a word with him I guess if you don't want to take things further.

However, it is illegal for a reason.

If you did want to report it, it is. His own actions rhay has lead to this.

People breaking the law then threatening to harm themselves is usual abusive or manipulative tactics for those who have done wrong.

If you did want to take if further n he threatens to harm himself, report it to police as is recommended for others who commit abuse.

StrawberryWater · 20/07/2024 20:35

If he has that out in the open for people to find imagine what he has elsewhere.

My father was in to some very sick shit and TRUST me op, it ain't just one thing. Report him. It's not a case of 'oh but I don't want to open a can of worms'. You didn't do that, he did. Think of the victims in those videos. The women in those videos are often forced into it.

Pikapikapikachu11 · 20/07/2024 20:37

I'm just really glad he has no pets.

Pikapikapikachu11 · 20/07/2024 20:43

I hope you do the right thing op. Do you have children or does he have children in his family he sees? Or family pets? If so it should definitely be reported, as the children might come to see it.

lowflyingtitties · 20/07/2024 20:44

Shit. You deleted it, why did you do that?? You need to put as many blockers on it as you can and see if he dares say anything. At least then if his laptop is ever confiscated they could see what you had tried to do and wasn't just covering for him.
This man is awful. He's clever enough to find that shit, he wanted you to see it. His Granddaughter. What a sack of fucking shit.

Pikapikapikachu11 · 20/07/2024 20:47

StrawberryWater · 20/07/2024 20:35

If he has that out in the open for people to find imagine what he has elsewhere.

My father was in to some very sick shit and TRUST me op, it ain't just one thing. Report him. It's not a case of 'oh but I don't want to open a can of worms'. You didn't do that, he did. Think of the victims in those videos. The women in those videos are often forced into it.

My family I am estranged from because of not the same, but siding with abusers. Domestic abuse is just the norm in my family now and the women who suffer it are painted to be the wrong ones for not serving men well enough. Then it's downplayed go being trivial. I am glad I am out of it.

Thing is it isn't trivial, one of them is going to court but still he is played as the victim and the woman brought him to do it.

I struggle to spend any time with any of them over it all.