Being so tight with money - part 2

[Rockrose94]

Hi all, starting a new thread as the first one on AIBU is nearly full !😱
I copied my original post below but basically my ex is a tight ass who has been financially manipulative and controlling my wine and butter consumption (😂). I ended things yesterday after the hundreds of responses on my OP shedding the light on how bad it was. I need to sort all the practicalities etc but I have went to stay with family to have some space from him. I am obviously still feeling a bit confused but I know he isn't capable of change as even during his grovelling he is still blaming me. So onwards and upwards!

My OP:
For context I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we live together and split the rent / bills 50/50. Our take home pay is very similar and I have an extra outgoing of my car finance which he does not. We effectively keep our finances completely separate, I worry how this will work long term as he has said he does not want to share finances at all as he has more savings.

Anyway the main issue just now is 1) he has bought me dinner once in 4 years, for my 30th birthday present. I took him on a foreign holiday and presents for his 30th. I have paid for nights away and meals for us several times when he has said he can't afford it as I wanted to treat him. I don't do this often any more as it's never been reciprocated 2) we split all food shops evenly but usually do our own meals during the week as I am dieting. He just stood for half an hour itemising up every item on the food shops over the weekend to come to the point that I owe him £2.50. Note that he will charge me half of the food we share but he would likely eat 2/3 of the meal. AIBU to be tired of this? It feels so tight , do other people itemise everything and charge their partner almost to the penny?!

It's these sort of moments that make me love MN the most!

Team President butter here too, but more importantly team @Rockrose94 - you can choose whichever butter you like now, nobody else's opinion matters!

I can tell from your posts that you're a fun person. But he was trying to turn you into someone as dull as him!

I remember in your other thread you saying you would love it if he'd whisk you away for a wkend but he never would. I felt sad reading that.

Even if he made "some" changes. He's never going to be that person.

For some reason I am picturing him in his pants sat at the kitchen table staring forlornly at his tub of butter, asking himself where did it all go wrong 😂

Noooo, we must spread the Gospal of President Butter.

Good riddance! Buy yourself a giant tub of your favourite ice cream & eat it all. No sharing, no splitting down the middle.

I feel it might be a kindness to provide him with some kind of in-depth research to help him with the transition and so he can make sure he's still getting the best value butter (or butter substitute) for his buck.
https://www.kentlive.news/whats-on/food-drink/compared-utterly-butterfly-butter-spread-6627445
They don't do a gram by gram or a pence per gram comparison tho, which is a bit disappointing. But I'm sure he'd find it's a reasonably simple calculation.

Hope you are having a relaxing day OP, and planning some nice outings or treats for yourself!

😂 I should have just named this thread "butter gate" or something! You know what, perhaps I will branch out and try some different butters as part of this new life!

Sounds a great deal, I'm astonished you didn't leap at the chance of giving him all your money?!? 😂

Well done for leaving.

So many just stay in unhappy relationships.

Onwards and upwards 🍾🥂

@Tara336 The final straw for me was when he admitted he had looked up the value of my property and worked out if I sold it I could pay the majority of his mortgage off and "we could then split the rest of the payments between us".

What the hell?!

Genesis 12:3

"I will bless those who eat President and whoever curses you I will curse with Lurpak; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through your dairy choices. For the truely evil I will curse with 'I cant believe it is not butter' for they are forsaken and without redemption . And the people wept with joy and cried 'rejoice, rejoice for President butter is the true king of butters and Lupak is for cunts'.

M&S French butter with sea salt crystals is my boogie butter of choice. Just a suggestion :)

I liked it all until you called me a cunt! 😂

Mine too! Absolutely love it.

Following!

Glad you're doing OK, @Rockrose94

It's hard breaking up even when it's what you want. Still can be tough! You'll be OK! ❤️

Place marking for butter recommendations updates. I've never tried President before...

Jokes aside OP, well done on moving out and ending it. Even when he's been a monumental nob, it's still hard with all the upheaval etc.

Enjoy time, space, butter, wine and freedom whilst you search for your own place!

@TheCadoganArms
My DP uses the Sainsbury's version of ICBINB called Butterlicious so where does that place him in Genesis 12:3?
I have to admit that it is utterly foul stuff so perhaps he's in the butter equivalent of purgatory?????

Aldi/Lidl do a nice west country butter with salt crystals. Knocks the spots off Lurpak IMHO.

Mumsnet at it's finest. Women supporting women. I love it 💞

Rockrose, you are brave and amazing. Well bloody done for leaving that tight, controlling bastard. May his next shite be a hedgehog.

p.s. I am also a Lurpak cunt.

This is so fucked! He should be ashamed.

p.s. I am also a Lurpak cunt

😂

Another Kerrygold vote! 🧈

The best butter I had was South Downs, you deserve the splurge.

vote for Anchor here. Currently in The Netherlands and struggling to get salted butter - philistines!