To be upset by what my husband said/did

[staringatstars]

Husband just made a gesture to me about me being fat/pregnant. I'm 25 weeks pregnant, don't like looking the way I do right now, keeping up with running and fitness as much as I can with a toddler, intense job, and being pregnant. I had an eating disorder years ago, which doesn't really leave you. I'm in tears. He has apologised for making me upset. Not for what he said, but for making me upset. I just can't do this. I want to throw myself down some stairs and not be pregnant anymore.

You're pregnant.

Normally just over 8 stone, now 9.5 stone.

You're pregnant.

Do you know what weight I was while pregnant?

I have no fucking idea.
I didn't care.
My only focus was that the pregnancy went well.

If you are in the habit of eating healthily and exercising, you'll get to whatever weight you want sometime afterward.

Personally I find 8 stone to be on the light side for 5'2".

It sounds like you need more counseling for the ED.

I take all the points on board. I do weigh myself every day whether pregnant or not, and perhaps this is too much, but I've always thought that it's fine, because it doesn't impact what I eat. I do eat whatever I want, and I think it's important not to gain too much weight during pregnancy. More important than when not pregnant maybe. I don't want gestational diabetes. And vainly, I don't want stretch marks.

I overeacted to his insensitive comment, but I do still feel upset. And can't shake it. Maybe I do have anti natal depression. I don't feel particularly happy seeing myself this size. Last time it felt more exciting because it was the first time. This time I know it's the last, but I can't seem to enjoy it like others can. It's very sad. My brain is wired differently this time.

Your still suffering with your eating disorder/obsessive thoughts OP, I am glad your managing to stay a healthy weight though. 8 stone is fine for 5ft 2 but so is 9 stone and your pregnant let's not forget that so alot of it is baby and water.

Don't be to hard on yourself, and please consider seeking some help but if you don't look through some self help stuff at least

Fyi

Stretch marks and gestational diabetes have nothing to do with what you eat

I had a giant bump, due to being short, and have no stretch marks (genetics, it’s just how my skin is)

I ate really healthily, similar size and weight to you, and got GD (probably related to having PCOS)

It’s not healthy to weigh yourself every day in pregnancy. Some of it is simply water retention and the fact that that you have more blood circulating around your body.

As Pp said, stretch marks and gestational diabetes are mostly not to do with weight, more so genetics, just like type 1 diabetes and other skin issues.

Please speak to your midwife asap about all these concerns as you also seem to need educating about some of this stuff. Your concern not to gain weight because of stretch marks is also ridiculous. Please get some help to adjust your way of thinking.

Is he 14? Has he been a dickhead before or is it a recent development?

@pinkyredrose
If you read all the op's posts you will see that he is not in any way a dickhead but the op makes him out to be one.

I still think he's a bit of a dickhead.