Partner confessed he’s attracted to younger girls

[HappyOak]

Hi there…
Totally new on here and this is a very difficult one to post… Been with my partner for 8 months,was previously married for 30 years,two grown up children and awaiting divorce.
Super happy in my relationship until recently. I have lung nodules which were discovered recently on a chest scan .. had to have them monitored as there’s a chance they could be cancer .Should find out this week either way so DP took me away for the weekend to try and take my mind off what is a very fraught time .
Had a bit of a row over him checking out young girls in shorts and the next minute he told me he was attracted to young teenagers …when I asked how young he replied 13/14 …Ive never felt more repulsed in my life, I lay on the floor in utter shock and couldn’t speak for what seemed like an eternity …
He also told me he thinks of other girls when we are having sex if he can’t cum .. I’m absolutely broken and cannot function .. this was supposed to be a nice break to take me away from my pending test results and I discover my partner is a pervert .. I was in a loveless sexless marriage for so long and thought I’d hit the jackpot with this guy … he was loving,attentive,warm and generous but I didn’t know him at all .I’ve told him to seek help and that we are over but I’m broken and shocked and just not functioning right now..please help!

Yes. Dealing with facts and reality does seem disturbing to those living in fantasy land I suppose. ThirTEEN is a teenager. Literally. No one says its OK, but to say a teenager is a teenager isn't some sort of riddle

Absolutely what that public advice meant....Please report back when you've reported it yourself

Assuming only makes an ass.... Etc

And no, I wouldn't. 1) because that's a scenario that isn't what happened to the op so all other made up scenarios are irrelevant here. If I watched someone fake murder someone on the other hand..... Sarcasm firmly intended

And 2) I work for the police and know the big fat nothing this would achieve for anyone involved. At best, it would be nfa'ed. If there was any indication of an actual crime, absolutely, but thoughts aren't crimes no matter how disgusting they may be. What I would do however, is not make it the ops responsibility for a man's behaviour and try and be supportive to a sickening shock.

OP, apologies. I just got so sick of the pile on from posters saying what you should be doing and acting like you're the awful one by not 'reporting' it. You're not. Please take care of yourself and maybe look to therapy. I'm not exaggerating when I say the shock and disgust can have a profound effect at discovering someone you were involved with is a million disturbing miles from who you thought they were 💐

I see a lot of normal looking men perving on young girls as horrible as that is I doubt they would be considered pedophiles in the eyes of the law.

But a 13 year old is a teenager. Strictly speaking this man isn’t a pedophile either, but a hebephile. Either way there is nothing to report him for.

Right. Because you're up to speed 👌🏻believe me or not, it's no skin off my nose. You asked me if I'd report it, I told you why I wouldn't

That's your perogative.

But the many posters trying to make it the ops responsibility or acting as if she's done something terrible while not walking in her shoes is not ok. It's horrible and unfair

Of course they are emotive. I'm sure the majority of us have children but it's obviously a concept anyone can understand regardless. It still doesn't make making an innocent woman who no doubt is in very real shock, dealing with a lot of emotions and feelings and trying to process wtf in her real life feel like she has a responsibility to do anything other than try and take care of herself as best as she can. That's what the thread was actually about before most pilled on

I've already answered you

And the OP can post wherever she likes for support. Which is what she actually asked for. Not anyone's views on the man

That wasn't what I was referring to but nevermind.

Clogging up the ops thread with your ratio of 3:1 replying posts to me isn't fair on her so I'm done, I've made my point

I hope you're doing as well as can be expected, OP

In what world do the police have time to deal with thought crimes like this?