Partner confessed he’s attracted to younger girls

[HappyOak]

Hi there…
Totally new on here and this is a very difficult one to post… Been with my partner for 8 months,was previously married for 30 years,two grown up children and awaiting divorce.
Super happy in my relationship until recently. I have lung nodules which were discovered recently on a chest scan .. had to have them monitored as there’s a chance they could be cancer .Should find out this week either way so DP took me away for the weekend to try and take my mind off what is a very fraught time .
Had a bit of a row over him checking out young girls in shorts and the next minute he told me he was attracted to young teenagers …when I asked how young he replied 13/14 …Ive never felt more repulsed in my life, I lay on the floor in utter shock and couldn’t speak for what seemed like an eternity …
He also told me he thinks of other girls when we are having sex if he can’t cum .. I’m absolutely broken and cannot function .. this was supposed to be a nice break to take me away from my pending test results and I discover my partner is a pervert .. I was in a loveless sexless marriage for so long and thought I’d hit the jackpot with this guy … he was loving,attentive,warm and generous but I didn’t know him at all .I’ve told him to seek help and that we are over but I’m broken and shocked and just not functioning right now..please help!

Why, to traumatise her all the more?

You've been given an unnecessarily hard time of some OP. You could try ringing 101 or put in a report of it online, just so you know you've done all you can. However, you've got enough to deal with at the moment. While nobody can know his motivation for saying that, given it is a predictable response that saying that would result in a dumping, perhaps he has set it up on purpose?
Not inconceivable that he wanted you to end the relationship for other reasons. All you need to know is that at a time like this, you only want genuine people around you who care about you. Better not to have him in your life, the trash has taken itself out as they say.

Why does she need to report him to the police ? He has not broken the law by looking has he ?

What I don't get, is that why anyone would say that even if they are thinking it!!!

I doubt it was but just checking to make sure it wasn't a sick and badly worded joke? Not that it makes it all better of course.

I just don't see how anyone would say that, what reaction would he expect? I think the OP has been with him 8 months and all else was good, did you ask what he meant by all that? Surely he would know that there is a 99.99999% chance you would be sickened by it so what was the point of the last 8 months!

It may be worth a call to the police, but as others have said, not sure what they could do - anyone could tell the police a similar story about someone they don't like, the only thing is IF they check and he has got a record then they may act.

Im so sorry you’ve had to deal with this OP, well done for ending it. I’m staggered that he told you this, clearly has no shame at all, probably convinced himself it’s normal for adult men to be attracted to young girls - you’d be stunned at the vile excuses pedos provide themselves with. The people acting as if it’s urgent you report this to the police are beyond naïve, they’ll do nothing at all, sure, report it, but it’s not the most urgent issue here, especially when you’re already dealing with a health issue. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and be proud you ended it without hesitation, because many women don’t.

Oh @specialityrasp give it a rest with your playground antics. "Reported" indeed 🙄

What do you think MN are going to do about your "report"?

How do you think it helps the OP by saying "reported" and nothing else, like some wee tattletale?

OP, well done for ending it. What a horrible shock. Look after yourself x

Because they convince themselves it’s normal. I’ve seen a police interview with a man accused (and later convicted) of raping his own child, and he casually told the police how she was a ‘slutty’ child and wanted it, and it was his job as her father to teach her, like that was understandable. It’s not the first time I’ve heard a man use that same explanation either. They’re sick, fucked up people.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, please ignore the vile responses from the idiots on this site. You've come here for support.

It may be worth logging it with the police so there is a record of it made, I did this with my abusive ex, although I highly doubt anything else will come of it - there is no offence here and he could easily deny he'd said anything at all.

I think that ending it was the best option, he obviously has problems and that is the last thing you need to be worrying about right now with everything else that you have got going on. I'm sorry and I hope that you find support from my message and from others who have YOU in mind and not your POS ex.

What are the police suppose to do? There’s plenty of pedos who don’t abuse or watch vile abuse videos. All he is guilty of as far as op knows is a confess to an attraction to under age teens. As sickening as that is.

What are the police suppose to do? There’s plenty of pedos who don’t abuse or watch vile abuse videos Really? The police are so deluged with digital crimes against children they can't even prosecute all the watchers. I think it highly highly unlikely if you are attracted to 13/14 year olds (and my guess is that's the top age end of his interest, more likely much younger otherwise he would have said 16 plus) you haven't ever watched a child abuse video. Honestly, you must be born yesterday if you think lots of people walk around perving over 13 year olds but strangely are the only men who don't watch online porn/abuse. This is not a thing!

I'm not saying by the way that his confession is a crime it's clearly not, but some of the crap about what paedophiles (or rather people attracted to under 16's, which is a slightly different term) might be doing is absolute rubbish. If you think they aren't seeking out girls of that age to look at, and he clearly was as the OP caught him it was so obvious, then you are very naive, please wake up and know these men are very dangerous and in almost all cases will be doing the crimes, they just haven't been caught yet.

If any man admitted to me he was a Paedophile I would inform the police.

just surprised if this is real, don’t these weirdos,usually hide it,not say yeah yeah I was eyeing that little girl uo it’s as I’m a paedo.

No crime's been committed so the police can't and won't do anything. The OP's did all she could and chucked him. What else do you want her do do?

I’d inform the police someone had told me they were A paedophile. The police can assess if they think there is a risk there. Not my job. It is very different to I gave a passing thought to nicking the charity box or something,

You'd inform the police someone was a paedophile as their now ex girlfriend with no evidence whatsoever and not realise that they can't do anything about it as well as it looking like a bitter ex?

Into WHAT? What imaginary investigation?!

A creep said he was a creep. I didn't mean as a matter of pride as to what you'd look like, I mean his now ex girlfriend = not a reliable witness even to an imaginary investigation. It's gross, he's gross, but there is no crime.
A poor woman had a sickening shock and she came here for venting and support and she gets a load of posters saying report a non crime and making out she's awful not to, it's absolutely ridiculous and naive as other pp said.

If you want to report it yourself, crack on, you have almost as much information that can't be actioned as the op

That's nonsensical. If he's already under imaginary investigation for being attracted to teens ringing up and saying 'he's attracted to teens' would be beyond pointless.... And if he's not, then once again, thought isn't a crime even if it is gross

On this thread I am bizarre and happily so as I'm clearly one of few who understand that there's no crime and that people shouldn't be attacking the op or making his gross behaviour her responsibility, just supporting a woman after a horrible shock

I also said that can't be actioned. His name isn't a crime, his address isn't a crime and what has been said has been posted here soo.... Yep, the same level of a big fat NFA that the op would get as if one of us would 'report' it