Dating thread 246 - Spring Dating

[SamW98]

Continued from 245….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I agree 100% @Pepsimaxedout. It doesn't have to involve money or expensive gifts. It's about the maturity and emotional intelligence to show up and invest, to communicate and show interest.
And that is attractive all day long to me.

@SamW98 you definitely did the right thing messaging that. He should realise how low his energy is there.
Astounds me how people expect fulfilling relationships to grow with such little investment.
Interesting to see what he comes back with.....

Question for you...matched with someone this morning have exchanged 3 texts each and he wants to meet up for a coffee tomorrow..is this normal? Chat seems normal so far though he has called me gorgeous but nothing sexual! Not sure if it's a bit soon to meet!

@2anddone how do you feel? Nervous or creeped out? Go with your gut

@2anddone It does sound a bit soon but considering it's the weekend and maybe his next available free day is next Saturday and the weather looks nice etc maybe he just wants to make hay while the sun shines? I think if you are feeling why not and can make it, you should go with the flow in this case...

@Mountainormolehills I feel like he is a complete stranger! All he has said is hi and asked me what I do for work. Then said it's his day off and did I want to meet tomorrow as he is coming to my town to see some friends! No other information whatsoever

2anddone Go with your gut instinct on this one I'd say.

if it were me I'd say something like 'Sure, but let's keep chatting too' & then if he doesn't really say anything else then I wouldn't.

I had dates with one in the summer where we chatted all evening, one evening, & at the end of that, as I had no 'Red flags' waving & he seemed normal, I asked him if he wanted to meet then next day, because I was free & he was nearby

That didn't work out obviously but I'd do it again if it felt right.

Do you feel comfortable meeting @2anddone ? Because if you’re not then don’t. But we often say it’s better to meet earlier so if you are free and you feel ok about going - go?

Ok will see if he messages again...currently I have heard nothing since telling him what my job is so possibly he has been scared off anyway 😉🤣

@2anddone

Id go but with no expectations other than a coffee and a chat. As long as it’s somewhere public then why not?

Haha now I'm curious what you do for work! I'd do exactly as @NervesOfCotton said and agree to go but say "let's keep chatting". If he is unexpectedly nearby then it also makes sense why he might suggest meeting.

@Mckittens I think he might have a fair amount of money - which is fine - but I think as a result he doesn't work that much any more. Whereas my job is long hours. He was also dressed very sharply and I felt under dressed with him, but I am never especially fashionable and don't like calling attention to myself with how I look.

Anyway, we will see how Monday goes. He seems keen at least, and he is easy to talk to.

@2anddone I'd go and meet, public place for a coffee. In fact I'd love more men take an initiative like that!

🤣🤣I am a childminder nothing exciting but he is from America and over there childminders are even less regarded in terms of career status than over here...they even call them babysitters or daycare and don't have to be qualified to do the job!

friendswiththemonstera The jobs possibly scared him off so I recon it's something like 'Male body inspector'

2anddone Aah cross-posted!

@2anddone I would go. But I am not a fan of texting each other for two weeks without meeting! My attitude is If you're gonna date, then go on a date 😆

@LuckyLinda3 a bloke said to me he would get to a date early so I wasn't waiting on my own. That was the sexiest thing a man has ever said to me TBH 😆

@2anddone oh god my ex is American and would always suggest dates immediately 😂

Messaged him about 11 and nothing back so I doubt I’ll hear anything more.

If it also meant you having to travel to his town that is so out of balance I definitely wouldn’t even contemplate it at all!

Maybe that's normal then??

I agree. 10am in the town where he works during his break - hardly a tempting offer after a bloody month of chatting.

Tbh it’s a good town to meet for dates - at a decent time and when both parties happy to travel but the expectation from him is ridiculous. I don’t care what he comes back with if he even does, I’m out!

😂 I was wondering if it was to do with him being American

I'd go for it, but keep chatting today as well.

I'm thinking I'm going to bottle it re phone conversation later with my latest possibility.

@SamW98 Mr J absolutely needs given the boot if he was expecting you to travel to another town at that time for the duration of his coffee break.

I would go if I had nothing else planned.

In my pre-DC internet dating days about 10 years ago, I was once matched with someone in the morning, chatted back and forth on text, then met for afternoon tea the same day!

Obviously it didn't work out, though he was nice normal man, there was just no spark in real life compared to online chatting.

@SamW98 Mr J is making no effort while expecting you to do all the running...like you, I'd also be bowing out at this point.

So Mr USA replied to my message about what a childminder is with 'ok' no message since so guessing we are not meeting after all 🤣😉
I am trying so hard not to think about the guy I had such a good connection with but when conversation is like pulling teeth it's bloody hard not to compare people I match with to him!!