OLD- what is sex positivity? And is it yet another excuse for men to push women’s boundaries

[OLDbutnotforgotten]

Recently went back on OLD after a few years absence. I’ve recently seen an increase of men talking about being into ‘sex positivity’

I looked it up and it sounds like it can basically mean what you want it to mean!

call me an old cynic, but is it just code for ‘I want to treat you like a blow up sex doll, and you’ll be portrayed as a prude if you don’t go along with whatever I want’ ?

Technically, it’s about enjoying sex and not thinking it’s anything to be ashamed of, but I thought we were all on board with that in the 21st century anyway??

Yep, that’s exactly what it means. It’s always nice when they stick their red flags right there in their profiles.

call me an old cynic, but is it just code for ‘I want to treat you like a blow up sex doll, and you’ll be portrayed as a prude if you don’t go along with whatever I want’ ?

Yes.

He doesn't want to hear your negativity when he strangles or slaps you during sex, forces you into degrading/exposing pornstar positions, holds your head forcing you to deep throat and choke, and pressurise you into painful anal sex.

@WhichEllie haha- isn’t it? They all look like complete twats too…

another one mentioned ‘good hygiene’ ?? I mean wtf?!

again - taken as a given. And do people actually think they’ve got bad hygiene?

@AuContraire god it’s depressing.

yeah, an excellent filtering device

I wondered this. Very much expect it to be associated with porn use and a "you're not just into vanilla sex are you?" type approach. Red flag for me.

I asked one with that his profile what it means and he replied ‘I’m hot stuff in the sack baby’

Yes course you are mate 🤣

Sex positive just means they will treat you like a sex worker and they don't intend to pay.

🤮 what a turn off! I’d love to hear some honest reviews from his partners 😂

These blokes don't sound terribly bright, they've given the game away. Now you know.

Bumble?

Depressing.

NONE of these men are good at any of the sex. The only sense in which they're hot stuff is that they might want to flick lit cigarettes at you.

It would be great if you could get references

quite

a sleaze ball AND a pillock. Impressive

I assume they mean they test for STIs (and have tested negative.) Plenty of men are crap at using barrier contraception and believe stuff like one test a year from their work private health is enough, despite them shagging their way round Tinder.

If they say they test regularly, and are negative, they'll probably want to go bareback. They'll probably want to do this anyway - few of them will initiate conversations about using condoms or any contraception at all - you will nearly always be the one having to initiate that conversation. Vasectomy or no, STIs are still a risk.

If you are not sure what something means, ask them. If they won't explain in plain English, it's another reason to swipe no.

I've always thought that we should be able to give our exes references so that any future partners would be forewarned.

In the absence of being able to do that, it looks as though these "sex-positivity" men are giving their own references 😅

Yup, means I like some kink or other and im enjoying the current pornified trends that mean I can be very up front about this. It is helpful of them to warn you I guess!

I saw someone on another OLD thread suggest someone should set up a review site ‘dickadvisor’ so we’d all know which ones to avoid!

can’t remember who came up with it, but it’s inspired!

I’ve noticed a real change over the years…

I pre-date OLD and only used it post divorce, but I’m sure bloke’s sexual preferences are definitely becoming more grim.

i have a friend who is a prolific shagger- she says you can tell what porn videos are popular by the moves and positions guys try to get you in.

I’d never met any guy who tried to choke me in my youth - but sudden post divorce, every bloke is trying it. Gross.

Yes I had a casual acquaintance grab me round the neck whilst we did the deed. However, as part of my job we get taught defence moves so I reacted & flipped him. He looked absolutely terrified 😂
porn is total bullshit, it ruins good sex for everyone 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Dustydoilies Wow, that is ace! Well done - let's hope it gives him pause for thought the next time he tries that.

It's incredible how few men realise that porn is acting and, in general, is not what mutually enjoyable sex is supposed to be like. Some of the time I'm not even convinced these men are being malicious, they are just clueless

I’ve just noticed this loads with sex positively on the profile!
Good that they give up the heads up not to wipe on them.

Grim!

It goes along with the ‘vanilla isn’t my flavour’ type comments they have on their OLD profile.

Always good to get the heads up to swipe left

Yes I’ve been seeing sex positivity springing up on bumble and it’s an automatic left swipe.. I presumed it means they are looking for sex..