OLD- what is sex positivity? And is it yet another excuse for men to push women’s boundaries

[OLDbutnotforgotten]

Recently went back on OLD after a few years absence. I’ve recently seen an increase of men talking about being into ‘sex positivity’

I looked it up and it sounds like it can basically mean what you want it to mean!

call me an old cynic, but is it just code for ‘I want to treat you like a blow up sex doll, and you’ll be portrayed as a prude if you don’t go along with whatever I want’ ?

Technically, it’s about enjoying sex and not thinking it’s anything to be ashamed of, but I thought we were all on board with that in the 21st century anyway??

It’s well known that the majority of break ups and divorces are instigated by women.

so statistically these men are ‘cast-offs’

I’ve had a bloke do this and when I sharply told him to pack it in, he was a bit embarrassed.

he was actually shit at sex- no foreplay. I actually think he was just mimicking what he saw on porn.

The best experiences I've had have been with men 10-20 years older than me. In my small sample, they seem to actual enjoy making love to a woman, and want to give me lots of orgasms.

I'm now 50 and even the men my age seem to want to throw me about porn style...its so obvious. And depressing.

I never thought things would get worse- I thought men would be better at sex as time went on.

never considered it would go backwards!

OMG, that IS depressing, like he's considering hiring a hooker.

and when you see on MN the utter shit that women ARE putting up with, you are probably very secure in the knowledge that for her to kick him to the kerb, he IS just not good enough.

Of course not applicable in all cases, but for whatever reason, they are deemed as of no longer worth it to keep around.

I'm now 50 and even the men my age seem to want to throw me about porn style...its so obvious. And depressing.

I'm not finding this (51) - I don't mind the odd bit of experimentation with new positions, as long as they accept my hips don't bend in every direction, and my knees can also complain - and some men are just unskilled or have ED. But others are good at what they do, attentive and responsive, and they'vehad decades to refine their craft. Don't give up on all men in their 50s - just bin the crap ones.

I think it's to do with what type of porn they had access to growing up. The oldies tend to really cherish my body. Whereas the younger tech savvy ones who potentially spend their spare time gaming and wanking tend to want to re-enact the porn they watch.

The oldies seem to be thrilled by the sight of a fanny and want to do whatever they can to please me... Shame that's a skill that will be dying out😂😥

Its a pointless term to try and make something that applies to the vast majority of everyday folk (liking sex) sound like something especially progressive and special and for exciting people only.

Tbh I doubt if any of them have a clue what it means. They just saw it as an option and thought ‘yeah sex that’ll attract the laydeez 🍆’

Deluded fools

I’m married, but should I find myself single for any reason I would stay single. I don’t want to go out there with all these men wanting to fuck you in the arse and strangle you.

I thought the same thing (blushes). The.visions that came into my mind...grey.hair and walking sticks,spitting and losing dentures, slapping and choking and sending for an ambulance...

This made laugh! It’s certainly shark infested waters out there!

I don’t blame you. After being in a 25 relationship I’ve tried OLD but being single is far preferable to getting naked with anyone on offer out there - it’s absolutely grim

I think you are only thinking about it from a mans perspective. I am a sex positive woman, which means that I am open to having sex and casual encounters without any shame about what I am doing. Sex positivity is generally a positive scene I have found, mainly on the kink scene but now it is becoming more mainstream.
It is actually very liberating from my point of view as someone who does not want relationships but I do like to have sex with multiple people (sometimes at same time) and with whomever I want and I have found it to be respectful and enlightening generally. I would say that if you are not particularly on that scene you may read it differently

It should be called www.isheabastard.com

I think there’s a big difference from people like you who are genuinely looking for sex without a relationship and those who use it as a way of excusing selfish and abusive behaviour.

It sounds like the X-rated version of the ‘be kind’ movement.

Started with genuine intentions but often hijacked by grade A a’holes!

Exactly. What kind of exhibitionist comes on to a thread like this to say that.

@callmeblondee Oh jog on love and go and do a dump on one of your multiple partners.

Women are using the term too.

However this thread is about men on OLD

I could say much of that about me, but I don't feel the need to label it. And while I'm quite happy to have multiple partners, that doesn't mean just any partners indiscriminately.

I do find the labelling of everything tiresome. In the end, there are people you fancy and people you don't. Sometimes that's reciprocated. Sometimes people are monogamous and in a relationship so won't act on it, or might have other reasons for not doing so. I don't need to decide ftom 98 different sexualities and identities for people to put me in a box.

But do you advertise yourself as sex positive?

The sites I used are sex positive so you dont need to say it, goes without saying, so no. But as I said I think it has become more mainstream and so people may use it on more vanilla sites. It is sad if men with shit intentions have coopted the term, because sex positivity is about consent and empowerment.

I also dont love labels and I could be labelled many things. I think sex positivity as far as I am aware is/was a movement and it is not about indiscriminate shagging or any kind of bad behavior, so maybe it is just become a mainstream label that is now meaningless. I became part of the SP movement in 2014 as I had a sexual awakening after years of vanilla hetero sex. I hang out with people who are by their very nature SP and who exists in those spaces so the labels arent important.
I think this may be similar to parts of the kink scene like choking being coopted by men who use it dangerously and forcibly/non consensually without actually knowing just how dangerous it is, how the kink scene is rooted in consent and communication and now we have a situation where men and women think it is an everyday part of sex.

Are you alright Helen? Are you telling me to go and shit on a partner? maybe that is your thing but it is certainly not mine! Maybe you are projecting, oh dear! hehe!
I was offering my own perspective as a woman and saying it is not just men using the term.
You can stop clutching your pearls dear! LMAO!!!