Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MicroWilly (TMI alert)

131 replies

MrsWay · 13/03/2008 22:19

Sorry for the name change.

I have been with my partner around 3 months, last weekend my children were at their dad's and so I slept over at DPs house.

We'd never slept together before. Anyway to cut a long story short, it turns out DP has a bit of a microwilly.

I'm not usually mean about these things but I find it really off putting. It was never going to end in marriage anyway but I'm not sure I can carry on with it.

He's quite chubby so I suppose that could have been a contributing factor but its his attitude too. We were laying there messing around and then he said "sorry about that..." and I didn't know what he was on about so I said "about what?" so he "thrusted" into my leg and said "that!" ? still didnt know what he was on about but it turned out he was apologising for having an erection and it was all downhill from there really. He kept pushing my hand down to masturbate him and there just wasn't enough "room" on it to move up and down. But then I've only ever been with one other man so is this normal?? I just found it all very wierd.

OP posts:
Toothache · 13/03/2008 23:09

Bananaknickers - ROFL!!!!!!! Good point!! It'd be like sucking a cream egg!

bananaknickers · 13/03/2008 23:10

Would it be rude to take the cock-tail stick out first???

PaulaYatesBiggestFan · 13/03/2008 23:10

god tiny knobs ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Toothache · 13/03/2008 23:11

But you've got to feel sorry for guys like that.. listen to us!!! He can NEVER do anything about that. At least the majority of female afflictions are socially acceptable. I have many friends with chicken fillets in their bras....

bananaknickers · 13/03/2008 23:11

You can tell I have been to some classy parties!

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 23:12

yeah, but, toothy, they're not worth a mercy fuck.

and if a woman has no tits, at least she can get a tit job.

snowleopard · 13/03/2008 23:14

Also some men do like very small norks, but I imagine there's less of that the other way round.

Though actually the creme egg comparison is making it sound more appealing...

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 23:15

the creme egg's more appetizing and then you can get more satisfaction out your vibrator.

KerryMum · 13/03/2008 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snowleopard · 13/03/2008 23:16

Bollocks, I really want a creme egg now.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 23:17

the creme egg probably has more creme than that tiny tadger.

Toothache · 13/03/2008 23:18

LOL! Hadn't even considered that fact that creme eggs.. when you suck them...eventually you get to the cream! PMSL

apologise profusely for the crude reference< not.

ClairePO · 13/03/2008 23:20

Steak and BJ day (tomorrow ladies, don't forget) would be OK if it was creme egss instead of......

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 23:21

Now I'm going to have nightmares about chubby blokes with micrococks buried in their folds.

Youcannotbeserious · 13/03/2008 23:22

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!

Toothache · 13/03/2008 23:22

spew

Youcannotbeserious · 13/03/2008 23:23

I've got to go to sleep.... If I dream of small, fat, bald blokes with tiny hidden cocks, it's Expat's fault!!!!

bananaknickers · 13/03/2008 23:23

I am thinking of Russell Grant right now! eek

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 23:24

my spectral chap will probably also have an overly hairy torso . . .

vom

butterfli · 13/03/2008 23:27

tee hee! my ex-bastard had a tiny cock too! so i thought, ok maybe he'll make up with his tongue? NO CHANCE! he didn't last more than 3 minutes either....... is this because he was very chubby? anyway...... whatever the size ladies...... the seed still swims! I am 25 weeks pregnant, and its a boy............ just hope its not hereditory to have a needle-dick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx

Toothache · 13/03/2008 23:30

lol

My H had an average sized penis.... it just didn't work!

Too many years in his youth snortin coke.... shame. Glad it's not my problem anymore!

butterfli · 13/03/2008 23:32

cool! does that mean theres life after smallcock infection?

Toothache · 13/03/2008 23:33

Butterfli - Abso-feckin-lutely!!! Just read your thread..... DITCH HIM!

butterfli · 13/03/2008 23:34

thanks hun! HAVE done! HE IS HISTORY!

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 23:36

to anyone who says, 'size doesn't matter', well, you can't go out to sea in a dinghy, pal.

i prefer a scotsman. for very good reason .

Swipe left for the next trending thread