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Original poster

MicroWilly (TMI alert)

131 replies

MrsWay · 13/03/2008 22:19

Sorry for the name change.

I have been with my partner around 3 months, last weekend my children were at their dad's and so I slept over at DPs house.

We'd never slept together before. Anyway to cut a long story short, it turns out DP has a bit of a microwilly.

I'm not usually mean about these things but I find it really off putting. It was never going to end in marriage anyway but I'm not sure I can carry on with it.

He's quite chubby so I suppose that could have been a contributing factor but its his attitude too. We were laying there messing around and then he said "sorry about that..." and I didn't know what he was on about so I said "about what?" so he "thrusted" into my leg and said "that!" ? still didnt know what he was on about but it turned out he was apologising for having an erection and it was all downhill from there really. He kept pushing my hand down to masturbate him and there just wasn't enough "room" on it to move up and down. But then I've only ever been with one other man so is this normal?? I just found it all very wierd.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWay · 13/03/2008 22:48

Disenchanted...my son thinks he's a god...whenever he says "isn't he cool mum?" I just grin like a loon

As a person, he's good company, can be a laugh but his annoying habits/mannerisms wind me up quite irrationally, dont know why...

OP posts:
stirlingmum · 13/03/2008 22:49

I went out with a millionaire once. Had his own house building company (no names). Had a lovely house with swimming pool and sauna and lots of champagne BUT a small willy.
Sorry, it all ended there.
I still think of the Golf GTi he was about to give me when I finished with him

kittywise · 13/03/2008 22:49

poor bloke
funny though

WallOfSilence · 13/03/2008 22:50

Maybe you just have like, really big hands??? Hence no room to masturbate him?

DrNortherner · 13/03/2008 22:50

He's good company?

Right, get a cat for company and find a man with a big dick

bananaknickers · 13/03/2008 22:51

Mr Banana thinks we are horrible.Laughing at such a misfortune. What ever happened to size dosen't matter L.O.L

winniethewino · 13/03/2008 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Disenchanted · 13/03/2008 22:52

DrNortherner,

I scanned your post and read it as

'get a cat with a big dick'

DrNortherner · 13/03/2008 22:53

pmsl at cat with a big dick. Now that would be wrong!

Youcannotbeserious · 13/03/2008 22:53

No woman in her right mind ever uttered the words 'size doesn't matter'

Size ALWAYS matters to women!!! We compare everything from willies (Now affectionately called Schlongs!) to boobs, to bums to bumps!!!

I mean, listen to the word 'schlong' - It SOUNDS big!!

Disenchanted · 13/03/2008 22:54

it sounds like a pissed woman saying 'its long'

bananaknickers · 13/03/2008 22:56

Do you think that men who date women,with chicken fillets,get down to it and then dump them because they have norks like nat-bites? Or do you think they go on a website and debate it first?

ClairePO · 13/03/2008 22:56

I keep getting loads of emails promising they could help with just this sort of problem. Would you like me to forward them onto you?

Disenchanted · 13/03/2008 22:58

get him one of these

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 22:59

sorry, but that would be a deal breaker for me.

i know that's superficial, but i'm shallow when it comes to cocks.

the guy's just got to have a knob on him or forget it.

i'd end it.

Toothache · 13/03/2008 23:01

I ended up at a party with a guy when I was 18..... I'd only ever been with 1 guy then and I was with him 2 years....

His friencs called him "needle dick" which I thought was just a bloke thaaaang.

Nah it was true......and he came as I unzipped his fly!!!

Couldnt' BELIEVE his friends slagged him like that and he laughed about it! It was honestly the size of my pinky.

Poor bloke.

shnigger

Youcannotbeserious · 13/03/2008 23:02

Bananapants - I BET it happens!!!

I BET blokes discuss it all the time!!!

I remember one guy at university who dated this really lovely girl and he used to take the p*ss out of her padded bra all the time (and in front of everyone)....

Used to call it her strap on chest.... Strangely that (wonderful!) relationship didn't last but I have no idea if he ended it because of her non existent boobs or if she did because of his crappy attitude!!

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 23:03

that was a narrow escape, toothy!

no way, no how.

i once climbed out a bathroom window of a bloke who had a microcock.

i took my bag and told him i needed to 'freshen up' in the bathroom.

then i climbed out the window and jumped in my car.

Youcannotbeserious · 13/03/2008 23:05

Expat!!!

Hats off to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I'd had the guts to run for the hills much earlier than I did with the chap I dated.... I tried to save his feelings but his ma-hoo-sive ego meant that it all went wrong anyway!!!

Did you ever have to see him again?

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 23:06

I had a rule, Youcantbe: if my smallest vibe was bigger than he was, I was going to run for it.

snowleopard · 13/03/2008 23:06

Rofl at schlong discourse!

I'm sorry for the poor man but tbh mrsway, he sounds like a bit of a non-starter. He's started to irritate you... before you've even slept with him??? That's all wrong - it's fancying, shagging, moving in, marriage then irritation m'dear

In a way it's good - you can genuinely say it's not going anywhere, you feel you're not on the same wavelength etc. If it had been all wondrous up until the willy, it would have looked much worse to dump him.

bananaknickers · 13/03/2008 23:07

MrsWay look on the bright side. At least you won't get jaw ache giving head.

Toothache · 13/03/2008 23:08

Absolutely Expat!

Snowleopard - loving your description of how it goes!!!

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 23:09

god, imagine sucking the microwilly!

you wouldn't even need to put your other hand round it, there wouldn't be room!

Youcannotbeserious · 13/03/2008 23:09

But how on earth do you feel sexy when you liked it to a lump of fat....

Sorry, I couldn't go there...

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