Is he cheating??

[Chelc23]

hi, I have been with my partner almost 10 years and we have a 5 year old together. A few months back I found he had been searching a female colleague up on Facebook, when I asked him why he said he needed to ask her something regarding work, they have work phones so I didn’t believe it but let it go. He instills telephone lines and they’re always on jobs together, plus he is her team leader. But she is constantly phoning him and I’ve overheard conversations which sounds flirty. Yesterday I phoned him and she answered his phone which really annoyed me. And then for some reason I counted the condoms in his drawer yesterday and looked today and 2 have gone. but I keep thinking I probably miscounted. I just don’t know what to do. Whether I’m just over reacting and being paranoid.

UPDATE so I have had a good look through his phone (felt terrible, but I needed to put my mind at ease) and I’ve literally found nothing!! But a number keeps cropping up on his call log, few times a day. I’ve googled the number and nothing came up so I added it to my contacts and tried to bring it up on WhatsApp but no picture or anything so not sure if it’s something!

Go in to your phone and hide caller id before calling the number.

@purplehue im too scared lol! I don’t think it’s her, what young girl doesn’t have WhatsApp?! She has every other form of social media so it’s probs something to do with work.

@Chelc23 very true 😂

I have WhatsApp but in my privacy settings I’ve edited them so that only my contacts see my picture come up. If a new person tries to contact me then they won’t see my picture.
I have a colleague who doesn’t have my number saved so if I text them then I don’t see a picture, just a greyed out person etc.

Easy to adjust settings in any app, a number that contacts you several times a day and is therefore well known/ used for work or leisure would be in your contacts with a name or client reference, I would have thought, unless it’s an unblocked scammer number. Odd that it crops up repeatedly daily but has neither a contact name nor is blocked as a nuisance.

@Thewookiemustgo the number phones him and he phones the number, so if it was a scammer I wouldn’t of thought he would be phoning it. Wish there was somewhere I could find out whose number is it.

Did you try the number in Facebook?

Maybe I should go on his phone save the number and look in WhatsApp as they may have his number saved so may show a picture on WhatsApp!

@TruthThatsHardAsSteel yes tried Facebook, instagram, twitter!

That should work.

Her settings could be set to private.

She would need to save your number in order for all her details like photo, status etc to appear.

Like this.

Tidy wank?

Seriously, if you believe that, you’ll believe anything.

Men will risk pregnancy rather than use a condom - for sex. They are not going to use a condom when having a wank. Why on earth would they, when a box of tissues will easily clean up the aftermath?

I don’t understand how anyone who’s lived in the world can trot out ‘tidy wank’ with a straight face.

@GodDammitCecil whilst I appreciate the point of your post, my DH uses condoms for a 'tidy wank' as you put it.

Please don't tar everyone with the same brush

as you put it

It’s not me that uses the phrase @Spencer0220 - I’m quoting someone else.

And your DH uses them? OK……………….

i always just assume their partners are massive cheats and they dont want to admit that to themselves.

Youve watched him? More than once?

Yes.

Do you not find it strange that you regularly watch your husband masturbate into a condom? None of that seems a little odd?

Everyone has different preferences, and different ways of relationships working. I don't see why this thread should be derailed from helping the OP.

You derailed it by saying it is perfectly normal for condoms to be disappearing because he could be wanking with them. That wouldnt be normal at all.

No. That is not what I said. I asked someone not to generalise, because not all men behave the same way.

I believe I didn't reference OP and her circumstances at all

Let's help op not get into another debate

So I’ve done a bit more digging (going to sound ridiculous) but on the back of the condoms there is the date, so looked on our Amazon history and last pack ordered was 4th November, well since then we’ve had sex once, condoms come as two so the other one is in the drawer, but out of that 12 pack ordered on 4th there is two missing from that batch and can’t be accounted for as I always put when we have sex in my period calendar! Plus I was on antibiotics for a uti then got my period. so know 100% we didn’t have sex more than once after they were ordered. So two have definitely gone missing!! I feel sick. Just want to confront him don’t know what to do.