3 months since we split....my friends found him on a dating app... feeling devastated

Onehouratatime · 2023-11-04T00:58:29+00:00

Just that really..... We split 3 months ago - he was innapropriate with another women on more than one occasion... I told him he needed to back away a little from this women as its crossing my boundaries and hurting me (when I say innapropriate I mean highly innapropriate) or i couldn't do "us" anymore ....he got up packed a bag..took his ds and left! I asked him to come back..begged Infact how embarrassing...and work through it together. He didn't. He blocked me instead. After 15 months together... 2 months ago after we broken up we spoke and he told me he still wanted his future with me and he still loved me so much and adored me... Tonight my friend found him on a dating app... New pictures uploaded the whole shibang Just feel sad 😔

Pinkbonbon · 04/11/2023 01:10

He was a pig and you're well rid of him. When he comes sniffing around again (and he will because they always try to recycle past relationships when they need an ego boost) you can, metaphorically or literally, slam the door in his face.

He left because you were starting to realise you were worth more than his bullshit. He's looking for an easier target. But he thinks you're still on his shelf and he can come back and pick you up again some day. Be ready to show him that's not happening this time.

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 01:12

Pinkbonbon · 04/11/2023 01:10

He was a pig and you're well rid of him. When he comes sniffing around again (and he will because they always try to recycle past relationships when they need an ego boost) you can, metaphorically or literally, slam the door in his face.

He left because you were starting to realise you were worth more than his bullshit. He's looking for an easier target. But he thinks you're still on his shelf and he can come back and pick you up again some day. Be ready to show him that's not happening this time.

Thank you..... showing his true colours right let's face it actions speak louder than words.... loves me and wants a future but also downloads and Is on dating sites 2 months later....

Can't believe I put up with this

OP posts:

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 06:26

he was innapropriate with another women on more than one occasion...

🤮

OP - seriously. Come on now. You should feel pity for the poor women unknowingly going to meet this cretin for a coffee

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 06:27

How long were you with him?

MikeRafone · 04/11/2023 06:37

It’s ok to feel sad that it didn’t work out the way you had been lead to believe. It’s also ok to sigh heavily with relief that you go away from a chap who would ultimately make you very unhappy, this leaves you free to find someone deserving of you

Dery · 04/11/2023 06:45

“It’s ok to feel sad that it didn’t work out the way you had been lead to believe. It’s also ok to sigh heavily with relief that you go away from a chap who would ultimately make you very unhappy, this leaves you free to find someone deserving of you”

This. Good on you for refusing to tolerate shitty treatment. The fact that he walked, despite your pleas, tells you he didn’t care enough. If you were still together, you’d be having to put up with his BS repeatedly.

rwalker · 04/11/2023 06:57

Your ether together or your not

your not together so why wouldn’t he be on a dating app he’s single

yes he probably would get back with you but that’s more ok whatever rather than the be all and end all

top and bottom he more than likely has feelings for you but isn’t particularly arsed ether way about a relationship

move on if you have to chase someone there not that interested

BeingGivenMoney · 04/11/2023 07:00

If he was inappropriate with another woman more than once when he was with you, why are you surprised he’s looking for a woman when he isn’t with you?!

He sounds like a pig so just be glad to be rid of him. You deserve much more!

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/11/2023 07:17

So two months ago, when he told you, he wanted a future with you, what happened? Did you stay together? As far as the heading is concerned you split up three months ago.

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 08:04

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 06:26

he was innapropriate with another women on more than one occasion...

🤮

OP - seriously. Come on now. You should feel pity for the poor women unknowingly going to meet this cretin for a coffee

Edited

Your right I know....why does it sting still... ugggh

OP posts:

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 08:05

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 06:27

How long were you with him?

15 months so not a massive amount of time xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 08:06

Dery · 04/11/2023 06:45

“It’s ok to feel sad that it didn’t work out the way you had been lead to believe. It’s also ok to sigh heavily with relief that you go away from a chap who would ultimately make you very unhappy, this leaves you free to find someone deserving of you”

This. Good on you for refusing to tolerate shitty treatment. The fact that he walked, despite your pleas, tells you he didn’t care enough. If you were still together, you’d be having to put up with his BS repeatedly.

Both of you are massively correct! Thank you

OP posts:

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 08:07

Has he already moved in with his son?

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 08:07

Had

Copperoliverbear · 04/11/2023 08:11

What @Pinkbonbon said

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 08:12

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/11/2023 07:17

So two months ago, when he told you, he wanted a future with you, what happened? Did you stay together? As far as the heading is concerned you split up three months ago.

No we were still split when he told me he wanted a future with me...
He told me that via messages after a very long 2 hour phone call with me doing all the work telling him ways in which we could fix the problem and move forward and ways in which I would change too... he messaged me saying how much he loved me and will always adore me and still does want a future with me....few messages back and forth.... then he said can you send me money for the holiday I cancelled ? (He booked it and paid I knew nothing of the holiday for next year) and how gutted he was he deleted our messages as he has no pervy pictures of me to look at anymore... ending the message with "please don't send any" which obvs means he wanted me too and I just couldn't get my head around the fact I'd sobbed for 2 hours to then be asked for money and pervy pics....

OP posts:

Copperoliverbear · 04/11/2023 08:12

Also the inappropriate occasions definitely happened more than you found out about

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 08:13

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 08:07

Has he already moved in with his son?

No. Very far off that thankfully. We did plan on living together when we worked it out logistically but I wasn't in a rush....I was actually very bored In the relationship and hoped we would improve once I went through the stressful stuff in the background....

OP posts:

Aurasauras · 04/11/2023 08:13

I know it hurts when you love someone but better a clean break than death of a thousand cuts as he cheats on you over and over. There is someone out there who will love you for you. You are enough and you deserve better.

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 08:17

Aurasauras · 04/11/2023 08:13

I know it hurts when you love someone but better a clean break than death of a thousand cuts as he cheats on you over and over. There is someone out there who will love you for you. You are enough and you deserve better.

Thank you... yes what he was doing and acting like with other women was slowly eating me up inside...it was damaging massively to my self esteem

OP posts:

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 08:18

Copperoliverbear · 04/11/2023 08:12

Also the inappropriate occasions definitely happened more than you found out about

Oh yes 100%. I said 6 occasions that I know of loads more hidden!

OP posts:

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 08:19

BeingGivenMoney · 04/11/2023 07:00

If he was inappropriate with another woman more than once when he was with you, why are you surprised he’s looking for a woman when he isn’t with you?!

He sounds like a pig so just be glad to be rid of him. You deserve much more!

You nailed that. Your right.. thank you...just feel 3 months is such a short time I can't imagine being on a dating app yet...guess it's because I was all in and he was 100% not x

OP posts:

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 08:20

You were “very bored”
He was “highly inappropriate” with other women
and he upped sticks and scarpered the nano second he was confronted

You know who I feel sorry for? His poor DS. Dragged around various women’s houses

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 04/11/2023 08:22

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 08:20

You were “very bored”
He was “highly inappropriate” with other women
and he upped sticks and scarpered the nano second he was confronted

You know who I feel sorry for? His poor DS. Dragged around various women’s houses

I know right...he was 7 at the time.... ex has only lived in the UK since 2017 since then he's had 3 failed relationships...all in which involved his son.. it was 10.30 at night also when he got his ds out of bed and drove 45 minutes back to his house

OP posts:

Oldthyme · 04/11/2023 08:24

In my (life) experience men will very quickly get over a relationship and move on to the next female to fill the gap.

This can happen after straight forward breakups, long marriages or widowhood.

They simply can’t seem to go more than a very short time without one night stands or a longer term hook up.

When you are ready and find a new, more appreciative boyfriend, this one will become just a distant memory.

Chin up OP.