Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

Well I just returned to read my messages on POF.

I explained why I wanted his surname and his number first. His response.

You shouldn't take it out on me. I wouldn't check you out, that's what we do via text. We are all vulnerable.

So that will go nowhere.

Again, personal growth, I started to justify myself. Then I deleted it and just ignored.

I mean chances are he's just a normal guy but tbh I'm not in the mood just now. I don't think it's a big ask for a surname and for his number first.

I'm not enjoying OLD just now. So when the fun stops stop 🛑

Please share. I really appreciate hearing it from the other side.

NoDatingForOldMen (not that you asked !!)

what I want is
a single dad with similar responsibilities to me (so actual unavailability not emotional )

an engaged dad , I cannot have been through what I went though and then date someone who isn’t kids first

slim build and fit , exercises

not a massive caner but let’s their hair down

emotionally intelligent

makes me laugh and I make him laugh

find me adorable and vice versa

will look after me and do sweet things for me (and i him)

owns his shit

im actually going to visualise this

Hmmm 🤔 like he wouldn't want his daughter or sister to be safe ...

Well done you. Go have some well earned OLD free time

I'm confused now as I thought you weren't looking for 'the one'? So why would you need a next level suitability filter ... if you just want to have a fling I seriously wouldn't bother with any of that! Waste of everyone's time (other than an ID check), you just want to know if you're free at the same times and are sexually compatible...

Never heard of him but watched that feeling really uncomfortable.

I've put a height restriction because I'm a tall bird. But Mr Friday doesn't meet it, he's not got most of the usual physical attributes that I'd usually be attracted to

BUT

I really enjoy our conversations, texts and can't wait to meet him in real life. He does something to me that I've not felt for a long time. God how embarrassing but I really do.

Madness

@BelladiMamma that's exactly what I said to DS.

This is where things go wrong, as I thought this was clearly a joke , but you have taken it as a literal statement

I thought that was clearly a gag, maybe women just don’t get my humour?

Ah I see. Ok. Crack on. As you were. Etc.

(But surely you do have something in mind in terms of what you're looking for?!!)

@NoDatingForOldMen 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Again a common theme when messaging with men. Miss the subtle nuances.

Apologies

No, I think it’s me,I assume everyone will “get” my humour, but some clearly don’t

Ughhhhh

I’ve fallen into the OLD rabbit hole

i lecture everyone ‘when you feel shit don’t go
OLD’

and im a bit crappy after awful FEELD sex date

so what do I do ? Join Hinge

I think this is great… seriously. Enjoy guys who want to date you and give you more than what you have with FWB.

think this is great… seriously. Enjoy guys who want to date you and give you more than what you have with FWB

who ! Where are they mila ?
do they even exist

@Thisisworsethananticpated yes I totally understand how you're feeling. It's so shitty.

I'm not going to tell you not to go there because I would be being very hypocritical.

OLD is shit, shit, shit. I hate it so much.

I'm feeling really crappy about myself just now. Not sure why so I'm not going to even look at it now. Or for now.

Definitelycross

thanks x
effective now I’ve frozen both profiles 😊

the main annoyance is I’ve wasted some money on the subs - but so be it - mistakes happen when I’m upset 🤷‍♀️

I’ll get my mojo back
and I’ll re write profile when it’s back

and I’m sorry you feel crappy too and hope you can look after yourself

Hi everyone, I would just like to ask: do you always exchange numbers before a date or keep it to the app?

I've been talking to this guy for over a week and a date has been decided for this Friday, but we haven't exchanged numbers. I'm happy to keep it on the app but just wondering if this normal? I've exchanged numbers before with people for it to go nowhere.

We've made it clear to each other that we aren't looking for hookups etc.

CandleInTheStorm

i exchange numbers if they seem ok
its no big deal ? And it it doesn’t work out
delete ….

I mean he's the first guy I've ever known who hasn't suggested exchanging numbers. I could suggest it but I guess I'm just baffled he hasn't as its unusual?

There are some nice ones but the vast majority are taken and their partners are unlikely to let them go. These special guys normally get their bit on the side or their new partner in THE OFFICE… so they might not make it to OLD until everything goes belly up with OW… by that time they had a divorce and left OW behind and kids and … they hace mutated into someone a lot more emotionally unavailable
I think that’s why OLD in our ages is so very difficult 😞
I think for women it’s more straightforward… we fall out of love with our partner and want out or he has cheated on us and moved towards the OW… we also mutate

OLD over 40 yo= mutant hurt people getting to know each other with kids responsibilities in the middle

Mila14

in some ways i prefer dating now as I’m a bit wiser and a bit more emotionally intelligent

she says ! After some very poor recent decision making 😣

but I’m not going back to the boxing 🥊 ring of OLD till my bruises have healed

dating someone with an ex and major baggage was a new and not totally pleasant experience 😣
im not even sure if it’s something I want to have tbh

@Mila14 that hit the nail on the head for me - I thought my ex dh was amazing and I would not have let him go - but apparently me and the kids were not enough and yes he found his bit on the side in the office 🤦‍♀️

Still licking my wounds after having feelings stired up again by Mr city 😖 amazing chemistry between us but wrong time for us - he's away again this weekend apparently so I think he's correct that he's not in a position to date at the moment unfortunately as he's rarely in the country 🤷‍♀️

Am chatting with a potential - yet to arrange a date though

evening all

dipping my toe in gathering research at the moment! I’m 46, kids all grown up or growing up and now a lot of time on my hands. Spent over a decade single after splitting with ex (for many reasons) then been dating ex colleague for 3 months. Sex is amazing and has made me realise whilst I was happy single, I do want to date and have some great sex again!

Like ex colleague a lot, but he’s such a poor communicator and he’s got sole custody of 2 young kids. I don’t really want to go down the road of young kids again, I want dates, weekends away, holidays together etc. It’s all but over and I’m thinking ahead for spring & summer and fancy some fun! I’ve never done OLD before, don’t mind paying some money but as minimal as I have to and am feeling terrified about it! Colleague has done it for a couple of years and met 2 guys she’s had / having a relationship with. So all good, and no weirdos but lots of pleasant dates. Maybe she’s just been lucky as I know it’s not always like this .

So joining this thread and starting to gather insight and get tips for my profile! Eek. Exciting times.

Slothmomma

oh hes a bugger isn’t he
and a hard one to get over
not sure what’s the solution other than the brutal no contact rule