Can we have a thread about ways in which your partner initiates sexual intercourse?

[FrannyandZooey]

Do they use certain words or phrases? Or is it more of an action thing?

and is it just mine who tries to think up comedy ones?

Hey sycamore.. I am 30! Dh is 32.

We've been married 10 years

Don't think we've got past that honeymoon stage yet

and as we sit here our dh's aren't getting any

lonely willy wanging their way to bed

standing in doorways rubbing knuckles with no audience

hovering hopefully around sheds

Lol at this thread. I get 'it's clean... a bit damp but honestly its just water...'
Or 'baaabe i'm horny'
I must admit though he is very loving afterwards and always tries his best bless him.

Weeping with laughter here - and feeling slightly relieved at long-term single status...

Hark at you!!! dropdeadfred. God what a show off

anybody had a proposition while we've been on
firefly.. we're relying on you...

o my dear lord you all have
i'm off for a bit of leg twitching

Dh just said "What are you laughing at? Any word of you coming to bed....I need my bag emptied" If only he knew... LOL

i just told dh about this and was told

'i just lap your tits'

firefly i couldn't resist checking
you are sending me to bed with a very large

which is more than some people are planning on .. (back turned, humphing expected)

Oh firefly - at least tell me you don't have a LO any younger than my 5month DS? That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

No, my kids are 6 & 3!

night girls wahey....

This one from my Dad and StepMum, They have a pair of teddybears on the bed. If one is on top of the other its a request. If they are back to back its a definate , go away I'm pissed off at you.If the teddies are 'spooning' it means I love, but, Ive got a headache (and might be persuaded).

Ok Firefly - you have inspired me - I'm off to bed to try and see the willy windmill in a whole new light. Double wahey

Discoverlife: oh jeeeeez that's disgusting. Teddy bear porn! Eeeew.

Its not me, its my parents, and Im 44.

My DH comes to bed with his willy hanging out of fly's, saying Ive washed him!

PMSL at this thread. And trying desperately not to laugh out loud as dp will come and read over my shoulder...
Perhaps he thinks all the shaking I am doing is wind...

Now to answer the ops question. Er, we have 2dcs aged 1 and 3. Must ask him one day what he might do if ever either of us has the energy to initiate sex again.....

lol at the teddies

eeuw

This has to be the funniest thread ever! My dh also Jack Russels (brilliant term that) or says 'I know what will help for that...' and generally cuddles in a lead up, but his favourite, and most successful move by far is..... imagine if you like

dh fast asleep, unsuspecting LMTickles reading her book, finally reaches over to turn off the light, when he reaches out and grabs my buttock etc

oh, and I ALWAYS cuddle a bit in his arm, on his very hairy chest afterwards

these 2 posts have made me snigger at inoppurtune moments all day -

By stuffitall on Wed 30-Jan-08 23:10:41
and as we sit here our dh's aren't getting any
lonely willy wanging their way to bed

By stuffitall on Wed 30-Jan-08 23:11:51
standing in doorways rubbing knuckles with no audience
hovering hopefully around sheds

lolololololo

DH just says 'how about some action tonight'
or just meaningfully drags the beanbag into the room (DS now occupying our bedroom in solitary splendour until we get the sunroom habitable for him, we have a sofa each )

Classic wooing techniques for my Dh..

I am finaly enjoying having a bit of me time after cooking the dinner, ironing the uniforms and puting the kids in bed. finaly kids asleep I settle down to watching a programme I have been waited for all week... Hubby walks out the bathroom opens the towel he is wearing and jiggles his johnson at me and says "hay baby look what I got for you"

Real nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think we overlooked this one:

"he goes in for 'Do you feel randy'. when told 'no', he says 'I can work on that'"

Now that is quite good really. Communication, honesty, negotiation...