Can we have a thread about ways in which your partner initiates sexual intercourse?

[FrannyandZooey]

Do they use certain words or phrases? Or is it more of an action thing?

and is it just mine who tries to think up comedy ones?

Lol Franny

I still want more info on themysterious leg twitching...isit morse code or what?

DP says "Fancy an uuuuuuuuurrrrrly night?" with a demonic grin on his face.

I have also had, 'I wont take no for an answer, cause I've got the asprin'.

I get into bed and he starts groping my norks and thats about it, no humour or banter.

And he wonders why he's not getting much! Actually I think I pee'd him right off last night cus I was having none of it.

Humour usually works, which is why he wanders into the bedroom with a just washed limp one hanging out of his trousers.
But so does a back rub (as long as I don't fall asleep whilst he's he's rubbing).
Meal wine etc. must be preceded with at least 3 days of uninterupted sleep, so that the wine doesn't put me to sleep.
Having an empty house, not bloody likely now that we are HE'ing our youngest.

Message withdrawn

why do you want to know htis franny?

This thread is fantastic im crying with laughter!

Its good to know they are all the same.

I love the lick prawn one and the poking in the back. And yes my dh looks down my trousers to see what knickers im wearing and if he likes them " thats it you know i like them bend over now!"

Naked after a bath swinging his willy " looks good doesnt it? Would look even better going down the back of your throat!"

there are loads of them. And no matter how many times told he still thinks its funny and i should give in!

Mine usually says do you fancy a shag or do you want sex, we usually do but it would be nice to have a bit more romance. I put some nice underwear on when I fancy some and that usually works.

What irritates me is when he walks past and slaps my arse, especially when I'm just getting something hot from the oven or when brushing my teeth.

OMG, killing myself at the special cream. MY DP usually says when i have a sore throat "You know what you need for that!". Hes not talking about Lockets.

Next day i get the referrals from prev. session. Things like " Behave yourself, or you will get what you got last night!".

My DH either grabs me from behind 'jack russel' style normally whilst I am sorting one of the dd's bedtime drink or washing up etc.

If they are in bed he'll sit next to me (we have our own sofas in lounge and never sit together) and then grope my boobs

If we are in bed he'll roll over and stick a hand up my pyjama top and mutter something about how its been a while

Finally if he has run me a bath and got clean towel out 'so you can have a relax and soak' and then he'll conviently appear as I get out of the bath

All so romantic huh - at the moment dd1 seems to be waking anytime someone walks up the stairs so solves the problem

(oh and think this is why he wants 3 dc as he loved all the shagging involved when trying to conceive the dd's!)

PMSL at this

I am soooooo lucky , I have not had any of these

Though it is usually me that initiates sex anyway

3rd dc duh

funny thread f&z

dh doesnt get much chance to, now i come to think of it
but he can be blatent and seductive when he tries

I feel so much more normal having read this thread.

Especially the general hopefulness and the double-entendres of stunning blatancy.

he doesn't say anything, he just starts rubbing my leg and kisses my neck

jodieg without namechanging i must confess that a slap on the arse even in the most mundane circumstances would be luurrvly

i have never had one and i think that makes me a weirdo on mh

or should that be mn
(overexcitement generates typos)

PMSL at this thread, especially the leg twitching and MrsJohnCusack:

DH just says 'how about some action tonight'
or just meaningfully drags the beanbag into the room (DS now occupying our bedroom in solitary splendour until we get the sunroom habitable for him, we have a sofa each'

Lolol

Men are so crap really aren't they. But if dp started buying me flowers and asking to make lurve I would probably punch him.

I generally get the idea when he looks at me meaningfully and says something like 'christ, your tits look great'. Thanks for the subtlety.

Or after the bath stands there with his hands in the air twisting his hips from side to side so his willy slaps his thighs on either side, going 'look'. (bloody hell cannot realise am telling you lot this. Wait til I tell him

Or picking me up, throwing me on the bed (not a mean feat I am six foot) and going 'shag'

Or rutting me from behind as I am doing the dishes, arms up to the elbow in soap suds, calling me a dirty shagger.

The above 3 do not work as they just make me burst out laughing (when in receptive mood) or give him the 'look' (when pissed off).

Actually, with a 12 year old and 20 year old in the house, combined with a squeaky bedstead means everything is a bit strained - when we realise both kids are out of the house at the same time we look at each other gleefuly and rush upstairs for shag time.

So all men think their "cream" has magical healing abilities.

Me " i have a sore throat"

dh " i have a cure for that"

me " ouch i just banged my toe"

dh" i have a cure for that"

Constantly tell dh its not a magic wand! Although it has its moments

This is hilarious.

I always know if my DH is in the mood as he takes his pants off before he gets into bed, the old romantic .

OMG GetOrfMoiLand - WD40!!

Think I may have developed weird Stokholm (sp) Syndrome, when I feel in the mood I start Jack Russelling away with abandon - till the point dh is starting to get worried about potential dildo action

sandyballs

mine doesn't ever take his pants or tshirt off despite me squeaking repeatedly "will you just GET RID OF THEM NOW"

the leg twitching happens when i climb in (invariably after him ..ain't it always after checking schoolbags, picking up crap around the house etc) and he's hunched away from me and i spoon him

and then his leg twitches to indicate he is not asleep

and therefore will i generate EVERYTHING

sometimes it's just a foot

so all you lot are lucky lucky sods

oh swoon throwing on the bed getorf
i am wee and he doesn't throw me anywhere