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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

910 replies

Grumpusaurus · 02/09/2022 01:04

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
PyongyangKipperbang · 25/05/2023 22:02

ZOMBIE

billy1966 · 26/05/2023 11:21

Entertaining read though.

barmycatmum · 27/05/2023 09:05

I’m almost surprised it took until page 30 to reach the trebuchet and oubliette ideas.

may the zombie be revived at regular intervals

seagulldown · 01/06/2023 01:39

Happy for zombie to be revived too, mainly to hear if the OP had another contact with CF or if she heard of more passive aggressive Facebook posts

Original poster
Grumpusaurus · 02/06/2023 03:11

seagulldown · 01/06/2023 01:39

Happy for zombie to be revived too, mainly to hear if the OP had another contact with CF or if she heard of more passive aggressive Facebook posts

We are not sure if this really counts as an update. Our dear lovely, slightly dippy friend, who was the one to accidentally give out our address to CF after being tricked, posted on social media how she was looking forward to coming to see us in July. It is part holiday but she will also briefly be working on a joint project. She helped a lot over the years when we were renovating this place, so has an automatic invite. Anyway, CF liked her post and commented how it would be fun if they went together. DDF (Darling Dippy Friend) now knows the full extent of her cfuckery and lately had her eyes open to CF’s unpleasant behaviour, such as the bullying of another acquaintance we know. DDF ignored the post and liked everyone else’s, which is glorious passive aggressiveness given how sweet she normally is. No direct contact from CF so far.

OP posts:
letmedoittoo · 02/06/2023 03:25

@Grumpusaurus

Oh dear, just be careful that your CF friend doesn't turn up in July at the same time as your lovely friend!

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/06/2023 04:44

I remember this thread. I also remember thinking how highly OP seems to think of herself & her DH Hmm Not saying the CF wasn't one, course not! But the self flagellation is almost cringeworthy.

I also find it poignant how the DDF gets an 'automatic invite' to the promised land because she's done something for OP in the past. Interesting....

Codlingmoths · 02/06/2023 04:52

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/06/2023 04:44

I remember this thread. I also remember thinking how highly OP seems to think of herself & her DH Hmm Not saying the CF wasn't one, course not! But the self flagellation is almost cringeworthy.

I also find it poignant how the DDF gets an 'automatic invite' to the promised land because she's done something for OP in the past. Interesting....

Speaking of cringeworthy, I don’t think self flagellation means what you think it means. ^^

Grumpusaurus · 02/06/2023 06:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wombat27A · 02/06/2023 09:01

Blimey, that's an unnecessarily nasty comment.

I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the thread. Thank you, op.

heldinadream · 02/06/2023 09:11

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/06/2023 04:44

I remember this thread. I also remember thinking how highly OP seems to think of herself & her DH Hmm Not saying the CF wasn't one, course not! But the self flagellation is almost cringeworthy.

I also find it poignant how the DDF gets an 'automatic invite' to the promised land because she's done something for OP in the past. Interesting....

Please find out what self-flagellation actually means before showing your ignorance online.

@Grumpusaurus - great to read your updates and revisit what was a very entertaining thread! Have a great - CF free - summer.

Weirdlynormal · 02/06/2023 09:53

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/06/2023 04:44

I remember this thread. I also remember thinking how highly OP seems to think of herself & her DH Hmm Not saying the CF wasn't one, course not! But the self flagellation is almost cringeworthy.

I also find it poignant how the DDF gets an 'automatic invite' to the promised land because she's done something for OP in the past. Interesting....

Self flagellation? Is that a typo or just stupidity?

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 02/06/2023 10:09

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/06/2023 04:44

I remember this thread. I also remember thinking how highly OP seems to think of herself & her DH Hmm Not saying the CF wasn't one, course not! But the self flagellation is almost cringeworthy.

I also find it poignant how the DDF gets an 'automatic invite' to the promised land because she's done something for OP in the past. Interesting....

Why is it 'poignant' to have friends that you are happy to have to stay with you?

I'm also going to be interested to see if CF turns up at your doorstep in July, OP. Hopefully she won't risk it because trying to find a hotel in high season is going to much more difficult and expensive than last time. You still have time to get a portcullis/moat/hot oil contraption in place if you get a move on. Grin

isitshe · 02/06/2023 14:23

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/06/2023 04:44

I remember this thread. I also remember thinking how highly OP seems to think of herself & her DH Hmm Not saying the CF wasn't one, course not! But the self flagellation is almost cringeworthy.

I also find it poignant how the DDF gets an 'automatic invite' to the promised land because she's done something for OP in the past. Interesting....

Yeah, strange use of the word 'poignant'

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/06/2023 19:59

Oooh, so the CF still thinks she'd be welcome somehow?! That is bonkers.

@AlfietheSchnauzer really not sure what your problem is, but do feel free to take it somewhere else! Possibly somewhere with a thesaurus.

bringbackveronicamars · 02/06/2023 20:17

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/06/2023 04:44

I remember this thread. I also remember thinking how highly OP seems to think of herself & her DH Hmm Not saying the CF wasn't one, course not! But the self flagellation is almost cringeworthy.

I also find it poignant how the DDF gets an 'automatic invite' to the promised land because she's done something for OP in the past. Interesting....

Perhaps you don't understand boundaries and what constitutes an invitation and what doesn't. OP was perfectly within her rights to ignore the cheeky fucker who tried to insert herself into OP's home without an invitation and invite actual friends to stay with her when she wants to. It's her home!

Sumthingsweet · 02/06/2023 23:10

Really entertaining thread - lol my late mother in law use to hide from her only half brother in her bedroom when he use to just pop over - with an uncooked fish for her to cook ! She said oh god I usually hide in my room when he comes , he talks too much and I want to watch my dramas ( she was Indian ) He was such a chancer - if you’d go out to eat when it came to pay he’d go to the loo !!! What a cheek - some people are such opportunists …family included

Sumthingsweet · 02/06/2023 23:11

I didn’t think Op thought highly of herself ? Clear they work had and have a palatial home , looks like it’s well deserved too . I admire self made people . I haven’t read all the thread but what did the messages say ?

Sumthingsweet · 02/06/2023 23:13

Whoever says carving the massive NO was the project 🤣so funny

MinnieGirl · 04/06/2023 11:10

Blimey, given that CF knows exactly where you are, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she turned up in July…. Might be wise to ask friends not to post in social media….

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/06/2023 13:37

🙇‍♀️

MsRosley · 05/06/2023 00:29

I'm not sure what's more amusing on this thread - CF's insane antics or @AlfietheSchnauzer's dipshit post and hilarious misuse of the English language.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 05/06/2023 10:42

I hope DDF checks her luggage before she leaves - none of you want to find that the CF has stowed herself away to make a point Grin

ChuggaChuggaTooToo · 05/06/2023 12:30

Wow this thread is a brilliant one to be on. Thanks for letting us know OP - I am sure we will reach the 1000 post limit before July so please make sure you create thread 2 in plenty of time and post the link here so we can all join you for the next chapter.

billy1966 · 05/06/2023 13:22

I would be a bit😬at DFF's need to publicise an upcoming trip to you, she has possibly unwittingly drawn CF upon you both.