CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

[Grumpusaurus]

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

This is a mind boggling reply. In what world would someone who has ignored an explicit instruction not to come and turned up anyway leave without drama if you answered the door? Well done OP. You handled this perfectly.

I totally envy your lack of neurotic overthinking!

I'd probably also have not answered the door, as I hate confrontation ( unless it's on behalf of someone else and then oddly I'm fine!) but I'd spend the next fortnight wondering if perhaps she'd somehow missed the "No" message and was sitting crying somewhere.

Even though if she did miss it, it was still out of order to turn up without checking until she did get an answer.

I hope she's found somewhere else to stay and doesn't turn up again.

Omg op you hero! What did her messages say?

simply not answering the front door is a learned skill. However once learned, it is a v powerful tool in avoiding CFs.

So refreshing to read about someone not even letting the CF get their grubby feet over the threshold. Because you are right Op, once she was inside it would have been a hell of a job to get her to leave, she would have had her excuses ready, these people have no shame, believe me I know.

I don’t understand. Is this a friend or family? How do you know this person?

blisstwins - the answer is in the heading.

Good for you, OP. She’ll be back tomorrow. Hold firm.

You have done superbly well. Who even does this?!

When I was in my teens my mum told me that a school mum that she barely knew had turned up at our house out of the blue with an enormous dog on a very long lead. Mum said she vaguely remembered having a conversation with her at some school event months before. I wasn't friends with her daughter, she was just someone in my year who I wasn't keen on TBH. Anyway, SM said she was camping for the week at the local campsite within walking distance but mum said she was heavily hinting about staying with us and/or having supper with us. There was no way that was going to happen. But mum offered her a cup of coffee and she just spent the whole day there (telling mum all about her sex life which was pretty eye-opening apparently!). Next day she's back in the morning and again stays the whole day. Next day mum puts the car in the garage and hides out like Grumpusaurus but SM just sits on the patio for hours until eventually mum has to come out. This happened for the whole week. I remember getting back from school and she'd be there. My mum has NO problem at all speaking up for herself, so SM must have been pretty bare faced - her daughter was very pushy. Some people are just gob-smackingly cheeky chancers

I remember when my best friend bought a holiday flat in Devon she said it was amazing how popular she suddenly became @Grumpusaurus!

Dying to know if she turns up again and what the messages said!!!

How rude, good on you for ignoring her. After a good amount of time, open the messages and reply that you made it clear already that she can't stay, no good waiting to see if she shows back up, CF indeed haha.

I really want to know what your commission is! 😂

Well done for not even opening the door. I'm not sure I would have held out.

Well done.

That CF has a lot of nerve… Bet she slams you both to mutual friends. Might be a good idea to get ahead of the game.

The message saying no you can't stay wasn't clear enough in your opinion?

Brilliant

I have an acquaintance from an old job who I unfortunately occasionally see, as my actual friends from that old job are only capable of socialising in vast groups. 🙄
This acquaintance constantly asks me when I'm going to be away, as in her mind my flat is her own personal free Air BnB. I tell her I am never away.
I live by the sea and this is a real hazard if you live in a holiday area. Anyone moving to one needs to consider their strategy in advance.
I salute your magnificence, OP.

I have a relative who would do that.
luuckily very active on a family chat group so we can see it coming and can arrange work or other activities accordingly...

good for you op excellent work ignoring the front door.

Well done OP.

Can't quite believe her brazen CFery.

She asked to stay. You say no, months ago. No more communications since and she turns up on your doorstep with a suitcase! A whole new level of entitled behaviour

Bet she’s back today. Updates please!

Can she see the workshop from the front door? Would she have known you were in and ignoring her? She's A CF that I bet will be back today.

Wow! She's got more front than Blackpool!

I cannot believe someone would turn up unannounced. The cheek. I would like to know what her messages said though!