Tick tock: the one where Geller discovers Polly is no longer a doormat

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

AKA Co-parenting: I do not think it means what you think it means

Here we go again my lovelies! Will this be the one where I finally get divorced?!

Previous thread here

I have clock news! Turns out, no one wants it. Quelle surprise. Could I sell it? No, sez I, it’s worth ha’penny tuppence on a good day. Plus, no time.

Ha ha.

I suggested, because I am a kind hearted soul and because it’s already in a box and I don’t know which one that they keep the clock face and I get rid of the mechanism and the case. That appears to be a reasonable compromise. Pass me an axe.

The reason for the clock conversation? My brother phoned. My mother has given away my grandfather’s WW1 medals to a museum. WTF?! We’re going to try and get them back. She can’t see what she’s done wrong.

Solicitors on the other side for the house purchase are useless. Estate agent spoke to them today. They are awaiting proof of ID and funds on account?! WTF. I lost my shit a bit. I’d just come back from having a filling so I sounded three gins down, which I’m sure added to the effect.

Oh, and I haven’t stopped laughing for the last hour. A friend has found Geller’s profile on a dating app. It contains such gems as ‘addressing climate change one word at a time in my career as a professional’ and goes on to claim he ‘always has time’

Given me the best laugh I’ve had since my solicitor said she’d call me just to be sure that I wanted to file for absolute once the finance order is made…

Anyway, buckle up loves. It’ll be a ride, as ever…glad you could join me.

Next time gentle head tilt - "perhaps you should buy a more suitable car?"

If he hadn't been such a wanker for so bloody long, I'd feel sorry for him.

I love RandomMess's suggestion.

He is just incapable of everything.
I hope the humiliation kept him awake all night

What a melt! I mean, I live in pancake flat East Anglia and can manage parking and moving out on steep slopes in Devon when we're there on holiday.

Jesus, if he can't manage a hill start after years (I presume) of driving then he needs to get an automatic, or stop driving.

I take it he belongs to the local amateur dramatic group? 😊

There are two things that jump out at me there @StuckInPollyannaMode - the first is that Geller is clearly not fit, if he's huffing and puffing (or else he's rehearsing for his next role as the Wolf in the Three Little Pigs) and the second is that he should consider changing his car to something more suitable to his driving style. I'd recommend the bumper cars at the amusements for some practice 😆😆

Does he purposely make himself look like an idiot. Does he want you to think he's completely brainless? Actually he probably does, so you won't think he's hiding money.

Going back to the excellent Pig 'n' Dig idea - it could become a chain of hotels, where, for instance, the pig can check out but never leave, IYSWIM.

He (Geller) can't drive, can't manage his own time, can't cope with his own kids. What is he for?

I like what you did there 😊

The hotel restaurant could be Swine Dining…

You could pick your preferred porcine disposal unit whilst waiting for the starters.

Swine List, anybody?

I'm really loving the restaurant name and all the rest. Yez are a really funny bunch of ladies so yez are!

“Geller’s big day out in the Cotswalds”… The Movie. What an utter fool!

@Fraaahnces

Love that!!! 🤣

If we were able to post a gif, I think the one of Austin Powers trying to do the 99-point-manouver on the golf buggy thing would work well here.

@LookItsMeAgain I thought of this too

@Fraaahnces there should be a warning on your posts...my poor sides😂😂

I’ll never look at Rowan Atkinson the same way again. Nailed it.

Could we add a spa to the restaurant? Call it ‘Pig in the mud’ and if you opt for drinking whilst you’re there then the charge on your bill would be to ‘drunken pig in the mud’

That's really unfair on Rowan Atkinson being compared to Geller 😀

OMG Polly you absolute star. I still can't believe Geller asked you to move his car. Surely he'd rather have hidden round the corner and called the AA or something, he must have been so humiliated and I hope you had an audience of neighbours applauding when you sorted it out just like that

As with others, I think a diagnosis is only going to be helpful for your daughter, though it might take a while to really sink in.

Here's to the school hols!

I little "snug" for the sycophants.. "Trotters"

Hope they enjoy their 'sty' at the Pig 'n' Dig! It is rated 5 turnips on snoutadvisor, after all

Loving 'Trotters'.

I assume what you were meant to do after the embarrassing hill start incident was realise that you are demanding too much of him having to drop the dc at your house, and you will do all the pick-up and drop-offs from now on.

@StuckInPollyannaMode I'm out of lurking following your journey.

Following on your Dollie's diagnosis, I write bespoke training programmes to parents who's children are on the diagnosis pathway or have a confirmed diagnosis. I am by no means clinical - but accredited. Feel feel to reach out if you wanted any advise. You've done the hard bit. Now is about building support.

Interesting fact. Autism is genetic - and usually more prevalent from the fathers bloodline.

I was just going to suggest that DD may have inherited her diagnosis from her father, but NCgoingdry beat me to it!

Desperately needing to explain the contents of each bag makes me wonder...

If your DD is anxious and/or has trouble sleeping mine saw a neurodevelopment delay therapist who worked wonders on calming all that adrenaline down.

It's mainstream treatment in Aus and lots of research has been done.

I wouldn't go just anywhere as some charge massive amounts.

The guy I use is called Bob Allen and has a practice in Windsor and Petersfield but you only have an appointment every 6 weeks or so and I'm thinking some of them could be done by zoom?

Happy to explain further. I find his website a bit airy fairy but the results for me and my DDs were amazing.