To Have Never Orgasmed!

[Lady08]

How common is this?
I’ve been married for over 10 years and I’m in my 30’s and it’s never happened for me.
I couldn’t post on the sex forum because I need to be a member for at least 3 months.

@Lady08 it has different intensity settings ranging from hardly there, to intense. I actually find it gentler than the bullet style vibrators because you can rest it very lightly over the clitorus/wherever whereas with a vibe you need to press it every so slightly for the vibrations to go through and then its too much.

@namitynamechange - Ok thanks, still leaning towards the wand though

@AlexaStop Me too! It arrived the other day. Not tried it yet. I'm a bit squeamish as it says to put it directly round the clit. Will work my way up to that. I can't even find mine most of the time, anyway.

@SoulofanAggron exciting! Mine still hasn't arrived, hopefully not too long. Curious to see why so many have recommended it!

[quote Lady08]@namitynamechange - I am unsure about the womaniser, there seems to be mixed reviews. Is it a strong sucking sensation on your clit? Not sure if it would be too intense for me.[/quote]
Even though what it does it essentially 'suck', it doesn't feel like it's doing that at all. It feels more like a vibration, but as it doesn't even touch the clit directly, it is very delicate, and doesn't get too intense. With anything else - partner or toy - I have to stop it touching me

Woops posted too soon!

Was trying to say I have to stop it touching me as it gets too intense, but the womaniser is so delicate that I can continue holding it there, if that makes sense! I don't understand how anyone can give this toy a bad review.

So I’ve taken the plunge and ordered the wand, if I don’t like it, Womaniser (god I hate that name!) is next on my list 🙂
I would like to use it during sex too, if it suits me well, how do I approach my husband about using it together, as I’m not sure how he’d react? As I haven’t told him I’ve ordered one.

Hi- just an update on my Womanizer experiments. I'm still working on using it properly but that's down to me not it.

It's very different to a wand, but not necessarily in a bad way. With the wand I get a sense of frustration in the build-up phase, which I didn't get with the Womanizer. It's a nice sensation.

One thing I will say is I'm a Rad Fem so I'm au naturelle. I think this probably made it a harder job for the Womanizer. I'll trim before I have a go next time.

@Lady08 Please keep us updated on how you get on with your experiments.

@DeepFakeQueen same. Really disappointed as I was expecting fireworks!

Now you ladies have me wondering if i'm just easy to please!
@SoulofanAggron that would make sense with the hair situation! I prefer the not so natural look.. and it works well on me.

@Trinacham The Womanizer often has a lot of good reviews when mentioned, so it's not just you.

@SoulofanAggron

Hi- just an update on my Womanizer experiments. I'm still working on using it properly but that's down to me not it.

It's very different to a wand, but not necessarily in a bad way. With the wand I get a sense of frustration in the build-up phase, which I didn't get with the Womanizer. It's a nice sensation.

One thing I will say is I'm a Rad Fem so I'm au naturelle. I think this probably made it a harder job for the Womanizer. I'll trim before I have a go next time.

@Lady08 Please keep us updated on how you get on with your experiments.

Do you have hair growing out of your clitoris?

@kneecapper No lol. I have some dyspraxia so 'normal' women will probably be fine with it, it just takes me a bit longer to learn to use some new gizmos of any kind.

So I have an update....

I have managed to make myself (finally!) orgasm, no toys, just good old fingers ☺️🎆

@Lady08 so pleased for you!
What did you do differently? Take time out to relax, bath, music, candles?
You say just fingers.....just on the clit, or inside too?
How you feeling about the thought of transferring this joy to the bedroom with DH? Power to you! X

@FlowersOfAldershot - Betty Dodson, lots of online reading, relaxing and just testing lots of different pressures to see what suited me best, Iots of self play basically. I have the wand, which I bought but still haven’t tried it yet, as I wanted to start with fingers, then gradually move onto toys to assist.
Only fingers on the clit, not inside, as for some reason I’ve never liked putting my fingers inside myself, I have my eye on the g-spot vib, so I’m trying the wand and that will be my next purchase.
To be honest, I am going to keep things solo for some time, not only do I think he may take it as criticism, I feel we don’t have that sexual chemistry anymore, that we once had.
In the meantime, I’m going to continue exploring and just enjoying some good old solo play 🙂

This thread has given me hope! I’m in my 40’s almost 2 years out of a bad marriage with no sex for years before it ended, and I have never orgasmed at all. I have started dating in the last number of months and enjoying having sex again so I’ve decided I need to sort this out!
I started reading ‘Come as you are’ by Emily Nagowski after seeing it recommended on here and it was eye opening! Like actually finding out where my clitoris is type of eye opening!
I have bought 2 vibrators a bullet type one and a clitoral one but neither have done anything for me yet. I need to get lube and take time to keep working on it though (have very little private time)
I am worried about clitoral atrophy though and I want to seek medical advice but I’m reluctant to talk to my family gp. I will work up the courage though if my self work doesn’t yield results.
The guy I’m seeing now really wants me to come, asks me while we are having sex what I like what he can do ( first time anyone has cared tbh) so I want to find out what works because I think we can have amazing times together if I get it!
So @Lady08 I’m inspired by your latest post - I’m off to look up at that Betty Dodson stuff too once I drop my kids to their dads this evening

@ChangingIt - I’m glad it has inspired you. I hope you manage to find what works for you

@ChangingIt ... I fully agree with your recommendation about ‘Come as you are’ by Emily Nagowski .. It's well worth a read for almost anyone I think. I found it informative, easy to read, etc.

btw, did your partners know that you never came? Just curious (no need to reply if you don't want :))

There are more tools, education, resources, options available than any time in the past. I grew up in the dark ages :(

@AlabamaSong I haven’t had many partners but I’ve never faked it with anyone. My current bf knows I haven’t come with him and is very keen to make it happen. He is so considerate and nearly feels guilty that he gets to come and I don’t. I’m not with him long enough to tackle it with him, but I am focussing on tackling it myself. I think he would freak out a bit if he realised I have never come at all!
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy having sex with him, I just don’t get that release at the end. I used a feel a bit like you can’t miss something you have never had, but now I’m determined to find out just what I am missing!

You are missing out and need to get practicing as soon as possible! As others have said take time on your own to find out what works for you then let your partner know.

I am like Yankeescot and it happens through penetration. It can go on for a while.

*the orgasm

Oh, nice update, have fun trying out your new skill :)