I was talking with my best friend about past sexual experiences. I told her about this one guy that told me 'no sex. We arent going to have sex' then immediately started having sex with me without any warning.
I had messaged him before he came checking that he wasn't expecting anything to happen. He said he wasn't and that he respected me and just wanted to spend some time with me. Once he arrived he started to make a move quite quickly, i became uncomfortable as was very quick. I tried pushing him away and was not responding. He carried on and i started to get a bit upset as i worried he wasn't going to stop. He noticed and stopped what he was doing and asked what was wrong. I explained. He said lefts just cuddle up and watch a movie instead. So we did. Only about 2 minutes after putting the tv on he leapt up saying he needed to put a condom on or his shorts wete going to get wet. I thought at the time that he was trying to manipulate the situation but that it wasn't going to work, i still wasn't going to sleep with him. He lay back down with me and cuddled me. He was obviously very excited. He started touching me and i was ok with that. But all of a sudden after a minute or two he flipped me over so he was on top of me. This is when he told me we weren't going to have sex. And then immediately did just that. I was too shocked to say anything. And thought well it's happening now so went along with it. But hs was hurting me and i did tell him over and over. I got a bit distressed at one point but he just kept repositioning me.
Is my friend right? Did he rape me? I feel so bad about letting this happen, i need to understand what it was. I've told myself it was my fault as i let him touch me and i didn't say no (because he told me weren't going to have sex) but maybe I've been looking at it wrong? But that might be because i desperately don't want it to be rape...