Light-hearted - What's the most trivial reason you've broken up with someone/declined a date?

[WokeOnTheWater]

Inspired by a different, more serious, thread but thought there must be some great, light-hearted stories about ridiculous, trivial or unreasonable things that have given you the 'ick'.

Gotta pass the time while we're all stuck inside.

She insisted on staring deep into my eyes when we were, ahem, having an otherwise good time. It felt like a stare out competition and was too intense, so it just came off as a bit weird/psycho.

Awful kisser.

Big, ugly nipples.

Said ‘good boy’ when I came. (Seriously)

Snoring.

Farted in bed on the first night. (Several times)

Too clingy. (More than one)

Too demanding. (More than one)

Terrible BO. Again, seriously, like nothing one could imagine.

They’re ones just off the top of my head, all different women.

I dumped my first boyfriend (I was 14) because he was shorter than me and his name was Frank. Later I dumped another (lovely) one because he wouldn't argue with me. How different my life could have been if I'd had any sense.

My sister had a bf for quite a long time who was a really nice guy and a great catch, and apparently a wonderful shag too. But eventually she could no longer ignore his startling resemblance to our dad.

sophocles that's hilarious Reminds me that I once ran away from a one night stand because he kept yelling "fuck" in my ear during sex. And from another because he had a terrifyingly enormous penis.

Size matters

I know him 🙄

His house was a deathtrap. No floor in the bathroom so you had to walk the tightrope across one board to access the loo. No kitchen so he made me coffee on a camping stove in the morning. Filthy and there was a motorbike in the sitting room. He was a very odd man and I had to put some effort into avoiding after our misguided one nighter.

Lordfrontpaw you've reminded me of another. God, my life is a mess. My first "serious" boyfriend when I was 17. I was so much in love. He was blond, gorgeous blue eyes, "troubled", fancied himself as TS Eliot. Just my type.

He had a poem he'd written that he presented to all his girlfriends. He just changed the name.

We’d been together a few weeks and I stayed over at his for the first time. Sex was only ok but I liked him. Next day he proceeded to walk around his flat in just a t-shirt and socks. NO PANTS! like a gigantic fucking toddler with no nappy on. BYE.

But his willy was weenie. Such a shame. Im fated with this problem 😭

Tall, skinny guys with little to no asses - is what a bloke once told me he's noticed as the commonality among guys with large dicks.

I initially thought he had observed that from.changing rooms but after a few stories were split, realised he was involved in a quote a few threesomes etc.

*spilt

I've only been with one tall skinny guy with not much ass and it is true about him anyway.

Also black men do tend to be larger in that department on average.

Bad kisser. Too keen. Voice was annoying. Too full on just a few

He told me he often worked in Saudi Arabia- not an issue in itself as I have considered working there as a nurse. Then elaborated to say he was an arms dealer.

Didn’t really fancy it after that

I may have already posted this . He shortened my name.

Worse, I was still in love with someone else

Worse, I met someone else.

Not the same person . Doesn't make it any better.

Very weirdly flat bottom, gigantic calves and a big red strawberry nose urgh but the weird behaviour finished things off, went on and on about my house but wouldn’t help me with anything then I dumped him and he harassed and emailed me for 2 years telling me he was very ill and then pleading for me to come back to him. Ended up speaking to the police but very happy now with new guy who is amazing but made me very wary about meeting anyone else

I was about 17-18 lived alone, met this guy (same age) through his friend who used to come into my work,
He came round for tea one night after about 2 weeks of meeting, kept asking if this is what its going to be like when were married? Me cooking and him stood watching.
He referred to my bedroom as my special room ‘are we going to your special room now?’
Would turn up at my flat at 8.30am to check i was ok (pre mobiles)
If I didn’t answer the phone would turn up at the flat or work to see why i didnt answer, errr i was out maybe??
Told me I spent too much time with my family when i told him I couldn’t see him as i was seeing my mum that day.
If he was eating chips with his fingers (mcds etc) wouldnt eat the bit his fingers had touched.

He got a streaming cold, and signed off sick from work, then assumed he could bring his snotty self to stay and I’d look after him.

Gross, no thx

Just remembered another one..

Had a brief crush on a lad who did the lighting at our nightclub ( I was impressed..)
Eventually he asked me out... what a shock to see him in daylight!!😳
Ghostly pale, huge dark shadows under his eyes, and so thin he looked like an x-ray! Our first ‘date’ was watching tv at his house, with his Mother glaring at me...apparently he worked at night so he was in the house all day with “Mummy” to keep her company when ‘Daddy’ worked away...
Our first and only sexual encounter was brief... despite being as thin as string, his penis was HUGE!! And not in a good way😳 it was a attached to a Mummy’s boy, who didn’t know what to do with it!!
I never saw him again😬

Lunch date with a man I’d met online. We ordered tapas and a bottle of wine. When the wine arrived he said. “Will you be mother?” Gah. He also failed to disclose in his profile that he was a smoker, and thought that would be okay. It wasn’t.

When I was much younger and shallow, I was seeing a lovely, good looking and fun guy for about 3 weeks. One night he turned up in bright red trousers. Couldn't stand the embarrassment. Saw his profile on FB recently, now fat, bald and a huge nose - how did I not notice that.

Also met a gorgeous guy while swimming with friends, he flirted with me and when the pool was closing suggested we meet outside. He was wearing a hand knitted tank top. Nope, sorry, not doing that!
My intuition was spot on though because a few years later he was reported in the local paper for stalking women and stealing underwear from washing lines.

She didn't like my voice; another didn't like the shirt I turned up in.

Being called a good/naughty girl when we have been shagging, it’s creepy and makes me think of paedophiles for some reason.

Aww @SimplySteveRedux your here giving reasons for why you were dumped rather than the other way about!

He pissed on the floor when he used my bathroom.

@GilbertMarkham I actually think white Scottish guys have the biggest cocks, I’ve been blessed that way, every relationship I’ve had has been with a guy that was well endowed