Light-hearted - What's the most trivial reason you've broken up with someone/declined a date?

[WokeOnTheWater]

Inspired by a different, more serious, thread but thought there must be some great, light-hearted stories about ridiculous, trivial or unreasonable things that have given you the 'ick'.

Gotta pass the time while we're all stuck inside.

@VonHerrBurton oh my goodness! That literally made me snort! Brilliant. I mean not for you...but absolutely hilarious. Where do you even buy those things these days

I love this thread.
I once dated a guy who had written all our various “anniversaries”...first kiss, date, shag, I love you’s etc, in a diary...TWO YEARS AHEAD!!! I found it and freaked out. Then he moved to Canada. Well swerved

And another that named his penis. It was called “little Colin”. His name was not actually Colin. No idea why he wanted to name his penis...well, anything quite frankly. But “little Colin”!?!?! WTF?!

And Canada guy used to cut up my food for me. He did it once in front of my parents when we went round for dinner. My mum just gave me this side eye expression that screamed “dump this loon Wicca...NOW”

Went on a date with the brother of a famous singer who took me to a karaoke bar, and proceeded to sing his brothers songs. Everyone thought he was his famous brother as they looked really similar & he didn’t correct them. I left part way through the first song.

He shaved his beard off and looked exactly like his mum without it. I couldn’t bloody stand her. It was New Years Eve, but man, he had to go.

Terrible bad breath.

His kiss was unadulterated pleasure but as things progressed I found his tiny penis under his large beer belly. I just knew it wouldn’t work.

Another insisted on paying for everything because he was the man. I told him we should pay half but he insisted on paying even when I told him I was saving for a house deposit. Decided he was a walkover and I just know I would take advantage.

I once had a guy kiss me so hard it hurt my teeth. I told him to be gentle but he just didn’t get it.

Took his pants off and looked very proudly at his very average erection and told me 'it's all for you'.
Same guy also used to whisper made up French poetry into my ear whilst standing in the pub. Grim.

@EwDavid wow, “all for you”, you must have felt so blessed 😂

He drove at precisely 30mph- even where there was no speed limit.

Date turned up in leather trousers. Nearly ran out as he walked in! Did not see him again

Sweat dreams 😂😂😂

Turned up to the first date with trainers and no socks on. I wouldn’t have noticed, but he declared ‘I had no socks clean, so I’ve not got any on’

#FlowerArranger
What are guest workers please?

@FlowerArranger
What are guest workers please?

@LouH1981 oh god it wasn't anytime recently so unless you look (hard) in charity shops I'm sure they're practically impossible to source. I hope.

Ahhh this thread is brilliant and has given me a much needed laugh. A few of these men sound familiar. Helicopter dick could be my ExH

When I was about 19, I stopped dating a guy who'd joined the army because in a letter he mentioned he was knackered after "square bashing". I was horrified and immediately dumped his ass because I thought he meant he'd been bullying nerdy soldiers all day! It was literally years (and I mean YEARS) before I found out that square bashing meant lots and lots of marching practice! (Ashley if you're reading this I'm so sorry!) ;)

He had feet like a hobbit. Hairy and gnarly. 🤢

@GrannySlippersAreAStepTooFar you were 15 and he was 21? shudder

I was 20 and we had just had our first date (coffee). We went to his car because he said he had a present for me. It was raining so we sat inside the car. He handed me a teddy, kissed me, and then tried to take off my top. It took a few attempts to get him off me. I opened the door before he could lock me in. Creep.

Laughing my head off at some of these!!

I, too, have had disasters over the years...

Went on an utterly dull day out with my Dads boss’s son ( Dad made me go ☹️) we went up Snowdonia in late October, in the cold & pouring rain... when we finally got back to our home town, he stopped the car outside the cash point, so I could pay him back for the cost of the date!! That was one date too many!

When I’d just left school, I was pushed by my friends to go out with a lad, just to make up the numbers, even though I thought he was a complete dork!
We were going in a group to Alton Towers for the day... he turned up wearing ‘office trousers’ in grey polyester, and evil brown shoes in a ‘Cornish pasty’ style. He’d actually gone and bought identical jackets for us 😲 which looked ridiculous as he was well over 6ft and I’m 5ft nothing. He was ever so slightly sick on one of the rides, but I didn’t say anything in case it embarrassed him... but I remembered it soon enough when he tried to kiss me at the end of the trip!! He just spat on the floor and said ‘it’s ok, I’ve shifted the last of it!’ 😱 omg!!
There is a photo of that day... the look on my face says it all...
37 years ago.... burnt into my memory

The most revolting p*nis I have ever seen.

Haha, these are brilliant!

I dumped one for the noise he made eating cornflakes. It was incredible, he could be eating them in the kitchen and you’d hear it from two rooms away. To be honest, even though it was only the third date, it was already doomed. When we’d had sex, he suddenly started yelling “what’s my NAME?” at the crucial point, and wasn’t happy until I’d grudgingly muttered “Um...Jonathan. Your name is Jonathan”. “YEAH BABY THAT’S MY NAME!”. Cringe.

I met him again at a professional function quite a few years later, we both didn’t place each other at first, then a colleague introduced us. When I heard his name, it all came flooding back, and as I shook his hand, I said “sorry, what’s your name again?” and started snorting with laughter. He couldn’t get away from me quickly enough god, it was brilliant. I’m laughing now. Sorry, Jonathan.