Light-hearted - What's the most trivial reason you've broken up with someone/declined a date?

[WokeOnTheWater]

Inspired by a different, more serious, thread but thought there must be some great, light-hearted stories about ridiculous, trivial or unreasonable things that have given you the 'ick'.

Gotta pass the time while we're all stuck inside.

His bottom lip was flappy, like a horse when it's dozing...

Pammie70 I see your flat-footedness and raise you a foot dragger!

Why do people do that? Why? It must be more effort than to pick your feet up by sheet virtue of friction!

He wore horrid glasses. But... I married him 12 years later.

*It was purple.

Small penis*

@Gamboge toooooo close together hahahahahaha

I phoned him when he was watching Top of the Pops and he said he'd call me later. I told him I didn't want to speak to him ever again. I was young and full of confidence. I changed with the years.

Then there was the gorgeous man who called his dick 'him', as in 'he's quite excited''do you want him'. Bleugh

A man I went on a couple of dates with during a very dry spell and went back to his when his parents were out (he was 37 but had moved back home after his divorce).

It's the only time I've ever just stopped and apologised and walked out mid sex.

Firstly, he hadn't put fresh sheets on the bed because his mum would have wondered why he'd changed them, and then he had hairy upper arms, shoulders and back and I just couldn't. Just couldn't.

So i got dressed when he went to the loo, waited for him to return, apologised and left.

Awful, awful, awful.

He took me for a lovely valentines meal. Gave me a cd he’d made and he’d written the weirdest poem on it. Can’t remember exactly what it said but it was very intense and very scary. Started talking about how we were going to manage our “relationship” (we were on a second date) with such distance between us (25 miles). Cried when I had to go and ran along waving at me on the bus as it went. Texted me as soon as he’d stopped running and every minute until I dumped him the second I got in the door. Spent the following days sending me long poems about his broken heart then never heard from him again! Bless him. I was young and genuinely thought his intensity was sweet on the first date. Thought he was going make a lampshade from my skin on second one.

Just found the case of the cd, think I must have binned the actually cd with poem.

Oh that’s errrrr sweet.

A boyfriend wrote poems and presented me with one called something like ‘brown eyes’. I have very green eyes. His last girlfriend had brown wyes...

First date with a so called millionaire... "shall we split the bill you pretty lady?'.
He then said "I see you have wonderful boobs sprouting from your dress, but it's your foot arch I'm more excited by. I'm not truly into standard sex but I do so much enjoy ejaculating over women's feet".

Another chap on a first date asked if my 75 year old mother was still sexually active!!!!!!

Jazz hands.

We were dancing around like loons and my ex boyfriend did jazz hands and, I was falling in love with him. Until then.

I didn't end it immediately but it was the beginning of the end.

I have a thing for hygiene, I noticed that he had wax in his ears, made me leg-it .

Misuse of apostrophes 🤣

He had a big old boil on the end of his nose, bright red and ready to pop. 😮😵😮

Jim. He had a caravan on his drive.

I once broke up with someone because he ate my food To be fair I had waited quite a while for it as it was a fresh batch of jerk chicken. I had checked of he wanted anything ordered but he "wasn't hungry". When my food was ready, he suddenly decided he was a bit hungry and asked for a "little piece" of my food... He proceeded to take half my chicken! Fuming

I met a lad when I was 17, I really fancied him and I was chuffed when we got together at a party.
He immediately became really clingy. He would constantly call the house (no mobiles then!) asking where I was etc. I hated it, he was just too much. We met up one Friday night and he was wearing these terrible brown shoes and that was it. I couldn’t cope. They drove me insane. So I told him that because he was off to uni I couldn’t deal with a long distance relationship. He wouldn’t give up and even his brother came along to try and persuade me otherwise. (This didn’t help!)
He accepted it eventually but the shoes were the straw that broke the camels back!

one that had smooth hairless baby skin. nice bloke though he coulda been a contenda if not

one had tiny little teeth. freak.

these things don't matter with the Right Man though. when the pheromones agree.

@Toomuchtooyoung01 Ha!!! Rarely do I actually laugh out loud but that is brilliant!

A cage fighter... Ooo errr i thought. But his willy was weenie. Such a shame. Im fated with this problem 😭

OLD. He made a filthy crack about my username that had coffee in it. Something like he had the cream, nudge nudge. He also couldn't spell.

I can't imagine having sex with anyone called Barry.

After I received a package of new clothes I'd ordered online (for work), he said "oh, maybe you'll do a little fashion show for me?"

No

He decided to wear a cable knit style jumper which was synthetic and had a v neck which had laces, truly awful. My friend clicked him first and sniggered "nice jumper" I couldn't even look at him. Looking back that was such a nasty thing to do.