DP acting extremely strange...

[Ishiede]

Over the last few days, I keep catching him crying. He says he is having nightmares a lot, and when I ask what is wrong he says it’s a long story. He is also treating me like I am the enemy and being quite nasty towards me for absolutely no reason. He doesn’t like his job and finances are tough at the moment. I just can’t work out what the problem is. Living with him is unbearable at the moment. I having done anything to give him a reason to be so cruel and nasty towards me. He won’t talk to me and is very bad tempered. What should I do?

It would possibly explain the crying OP. Either OW or very depressed x

I will know by his reaction

Top marks for naivety.

Good luck

Twit. he had an affair and is feeling guilty.

If he is or has been physically abusive is it a wise idea to confront him when you are in the house with 3 children asleep?

Have you contacted women’s aid and looked on entitled to to see what support you might get? Are you in mortgaged or rented?

You are making the right decision but be careful how you do it.

I'm very interested in these replies. My h has been very weird last few days also. No tears but foul temper and toxic atmosphere. I actually wondered if an affair had finished. He works away through the week so I could never be sure. He just says he's sick of running around after everyone. We've had a lot of my family here over Christmas but it's been nice (I thought). He certainly hasn't had more to do than me and I don't feel hard done to at all!
I was actually wondering if any MNetters had finished affairs just before or after Christmas!?

He is in control of all the finances.

try to change this OP..

He just came downstairs saying “isn’t this always what you wanted? Misery”

this really isn't acceptable OP.. I don't care how depressed he is...

You will feel better once you decide to separate from this man.
He really doesn't sound nice. And he may be depressed but that doesn't excuse the way he treats you.
You might well be stronger on your own. The children too.

Please don’t ask him anything right now.

Call women’s aid when it’s safe to do so and make a safe plan with them to leave your P.

If he’s violent to you, you don’t want to antagonise him or put yourself in any kind of danger. Play along for now. But call women’s aid first opportunity you have and get yourself and your dc out of there.

Then make sure you apply for CMS. Make sure he pays towards the financial support of your children.

Please be careful. He doesn't sound stable.

I hope you are ok, OP? Good luck this evening.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I’m feeling quite nervous about it now I’ve read all your replies.
He might not even talk to me, unless he’s in the mood to open up he won’t.

Not another woman, I'm worried it's a load of debt you don't know about op

Sorry

I was suspicious of my ex of an EA at least, on confronting him he denied and was so calm. I believed him. He was very believable and I trusted him. After we split, couple of years later, I found a second phone and some stuff that told me something had been hidden from me. I'll never find out what but I suddenly realised what a good liar he was and how naive I am.

Please tell someone irl that you're going to talk to him. I don't like the sound of the atmosphere hes creating. He sounds scared, and frightened people sometimes do unexpected things.

Sounds like how an ex of mine was behaving post affair breaking up. Demand answers.

As Rvby suggested, let someone else know that you're having this talk, sorry if I've missed it but do you have family nearby to get out to?

Has he always been this way? It’s a lot to have 3 kids with someone like that. He m sounds controlling With the finances :-/

Sounds like my husband. The self pity and woe is me. He has episodes of it to. Then blames me when I finally get upset after holding it together for the duration - whether it be days or weeks. He's been like it for years. Flatly refuses to go to the docs and says, this is just the way he is and that he's not going to change. Well he's has a surprise coming because, after this last year I've literally had enough. Just getting all my ducks in a row first. Good luck op. Xx

I thought debt/gambling as well to be honest. Who doesn't even let you look at the bank statements? Does he give you money for housekeeping?

And good luck to you, @jess3817. It sounds absolutely draining

Life is too short. You deserve better - and so do your kids.

OP I can only imagine your anxiety. You probably feel trapped because you have a child with disabilities. I don’t know what disability but I know I have a seriously disabled child (never mind 3 in total) and don’t know how I’d cope alone.
I hope it goes well talking to him.

Sounds to me like something has gone wrong or he’s made a big mistake, maybe enough to lose his job or put your house or something in jeopardy. Why else would he be crying randomly? Could he have been in an accident that you don’t know about? Hurt someone and is getting the blame? Signed up for something and lost a large amount of money? Been involved in something else illegal?