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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

DP acting extremely strange...

134 replies

Ishiede · 02/01/2020 17:23

Over the last few days, I keep catching him crying. He says he is having nightmares a lot, and when I ask what is wrong he says it’s a long story. He is also treating me like I am the enemy and being quite nasty towards me for absolutely no reason. He doesn’t like his job and finances are tough at the moment. I just can’t work out what the problem is. Living with him is unbearable at the moment. I having done anything to give him a reason to be so cruel and nasty towards me. He won’t talk to me and is very bad tempered. What should I do?

OP posts:

Interestedwoman · 02/01/2020 20:43

Good for you @jess3817 xx

@Ishiede I didn't know he'd been violent in the past. Rather than confront him, I think in most of these situations women are told to leave when the abuser isn't around, after collecting any useful paperwork etc they can find.

Do you have family/friends you can stay with? If not, please contact Women's Aid. You could even contact them anyway.

jess3817 · 02/01/2020 20:46

Thank you .

LoveManyTrustfewAlwaysPaddle · 02/01/2020 20:47

You deserve so much better.

DianaT1969 · 02/01/2020 20:49

The truth is it doesn't matter if he is, or has been having an affair. He could be seeing 3 super models and an Olympic gymnast. You have no need to find anything out or ask him questions. He is BAD for you and the DC. Unstable, abusive, possibly dangerous.
Just concentrate on getting out quietly and quickly. Contact Women's Aid and let any support you have in real life know what you are planning and either get him out, or move out yourselves.
There is no fixing this.

RougeVinEtFromage · 02/01/2020 21:02

Good luck OP

ToddlerTwinsAndUnhinged · 02/01/2020 21:05

Good luck x

MondeoFan · 02/01/2020 21:21

Something is really wrong to keep crying all the time. I don't know what but it may be the least thing you've thought of. Is he ill or his parents ill which is why he's being venomous towards you?

Newmummy64 · 02/01/2020 21:23

He clearly sounds depressed to me.
When you're depressed you can't think logically and everything just feels like it's extremely bad and you can't see the good in anything and you are very self absorbed.

He needs your support at the moment. Even though it's hard, try not to take it personally and try and talk to him.

Also, of be surprised if he's having an affair. Don't know why that's the first thing everyone is going to.

BumbleBeee69 · 02/01/2020 21:33

He needs your support at the moment

OP's DP is abusing her.... and you believe she should still support him

RoxanneMonke · 02/01/2020 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

letsdolunch321 · 02/01/2020 21:38

forumdonkey · 02/01/2020 21:39

You have previously caught him upskirting women. Could someone else have caught him and he's in trouble with the police?

maddy68 · 02/01/2020 21:43

He sounds scared, could his nightmares be past abuse? Crippling debt? Etc etc. Maybe the pushing from you is making him defensive and appearing nasty.

I would make him an apt at the doctor's. Don't go with him , just tell him you are worried about his mental health and the impact on you as well as him

Downton57 · 02/01/2020 21:52

I think you should discount all the advice you've been given to keep pandering to him. 'Needs your support' indeed. He's abusive, manipulative and a useless father and frankly you''ll be well rid.

Horehound · 02/01/2020 21:53

I think you sound strong op!
Tbh I wouldn't bother asking about another woman..you've already decided to end it do it really doesn't matter.

Good luck. First step to a new happy life!

Unknownname5 · 02/01/2020 21:55

Good luck x

NorthernLightsInWinter · 02/01/2020 21:57

His depression is irrelevant; OP is being financially abused and he is actively nasty to her about money because she doesn't 'contribute'. Which of course she does, doing childcare and household and all that, but hey ho, that's expected, isn't it.

I'd leave over that alone!

jess3817 · 02/01/2020 21:59

Hope you're ok x

Weenurse · 02/01/2020 22:02

Good luck 💐

DawgLover · 02/01/2020 22:03

OP I advanced searched and found all the threads about his cheating, sexual offences and physical abuse. I know you've said you're going to leave him before, but I do hope you find the strength to do it this time.

You and your children deserve more than to tiptoe about this guy. Your children deserve a better role model and you deserve a partner in life who loves and respects you. Hoping 2020 is the year you make the break

JustASmallTownCurl · 02/01/2020 22:08

Advance searched as others mentioned.

Before that I thought purely from your OP that he may be having a mental health crisis and need help.

After seeing your previous threads, this upskirting sexual offender, cheater and abuser is a cunt. You need to get out of this relationship come hell or high water, he's poison.

Thorn90 · 02/01/2020 22:12

He's likely either cheating or in debt

L0bstersLass · 02/01/2020 22:17

Ok, having read your previous threads I'm now worried about you. Take advice from Women's Aid please.

7dayslater · 02/01/2020 22:34

Hope you're ok, OP.

Monday55 · 02/01/2020 22:40

How old is he? mid-life crisis maybe?

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